T H E H U G M O N S T E R I S H U N G R Y

Bitter and lonely straight men who feel unloved by women do not seem to understand that women do not love men the way they think women should love men. Women who love men romantically don't love them with admiration, as a wise authority figure or someone they can rely on like children rely on their parents and belivers trust in their god. They love men the same way that they love cats.

Their weird hairy little house gremlin whose thoughts and feelings are occasionally utterly incomprehensible and expressed in strange ways, but who still clearly tries, and still clearly loves. Women love them despite of the home renovations they unpromptedly do.

Save my life When I’m too far gone Be my savior And don’t let go ©

Ides of March gonna be real bittersweet this year

Black History Month is coming and Duke Thomas is preparing to be a menace. He can get away with anything no matter the time of year, but February is when he gets to be ridiculous and nobody will call him on it.

“Your patrol report is late, Signal.”

“You want me to fill out the white man’s paperwork? In this holy month of melanin?”

Batman just blinks and turns back to the computer. “Understood, my apologies.”

Tim wants to choose what they’re ordering for dinner.

“It’s my turn to pick and I want Thai.”

Duke doesn’t even object to Thai, but this is his time to shine. Well, shine more than usual. “Why am I being subjected to the white man’s will?”

Tim nods and holds out his phone. “I apologize for my outburst, king.”

Duke orders Thai anyway.

Damian has an understanding of history akin to someone with advanced degrees in the subject, so he wants Duke to feel celebrated and honored every February. He’s also a gremlin and has Duke’s blessing to engage in some nonsense.

“I will not be participating in these…” Damian trails off and glances across the table at Duke, who gives him a thumbs up and an encouraging nod. “…these white man activities. They are oppressive and offensive to my ancestors.”

Dick and Jason exchange amused looks while Bruce’s face takes on a confused expression.

“You’re white,” the older man retorts. “Half, anyway. So half of your ancestors are the white man. And cleaning up after the dog you asked for isn’t exactly—“

“Sounds oppressive,” Jason interjects. “Not a good look, Bruce.”

“Not a good look,” Dick agrees.

Bruce sighs and leaves the table to clean up Ace’s mess in the foyer.

“Well done,” Duke laughs. “The ancestors will be pleased.”

Me: *looking at a porcelain hand in the home decor aisle of a store* if I lost my hands in some kind of tragic accident, I’d decorate my entire home with hand-shaped things. Then I’d invite guests over for like, dinner parties and such and sit there expectantly just basking in their discomfort.

My boyfriend: Do you hear what you say when you talk? Do you know what you just said to me?

I know you took my ribs, gimme them back you thief I had them first

I think it would be fun if Dani & Kon met sometime during Kon’s stay in Hawaii & have a gc called “weirdest test tube babies I’ve ever seen”

But also Bart, Kon & Dani being apart of the “we’re actually only like 2 years old so excuse our social ineptitude” club.

That’s all.

Sorry bro I just gave them away to an anon that wanted to cronch on some bones :(

This is beautiful. Bart, Dani, and Kon would be the most chaotic group to ever exist. They’d fully “Yes, And-“ each other’s dumb ideas and with two virtually indestructible people in the crew? Oh man it gets stupidly dangerous real fast and somehow they manage to come out of each shenanigan unscathed

I got Flip. Will get All Wild next time

Cujo

"Cujo where in the world do you keep finding all these things?"

Danny looked down at a very proud looking Cujo who had recently returned from his trip.

On each trip he brought back things that he liked, lately Cujo was bringing back the most curious things.

From pillows and toys to weapons and weird clothing.

One time even bringing a golden lasso.

This time it seemed to be a sword and a jar filled with liquid with what he was pretty sure was a human organ.

"Cujo please don't take peoples organs, I don't want to get in trouble"

A sentence he never thought he would be saying,

What a day.

~

Alfred: "I seem to be missing my favourite pair of socks?"

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Wonder Woman is questioning who was brave/stupid enough to steal her lasso from practically under her nose.

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Damian: Father! Who took my weapons away, I haven't even been grounded!"

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Lex Luthor: "Where's all the kryptonite I just bought?!"

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Ra's: *squinting* "Something just happened."

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Sorry this one is shorter than usual I'm in the middle of class.

Bye!

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Just an Idea

I have a hate-love relationship with love squares made of 2 people that just for the life of them can't figure out if the other also loves them

(spoiler alert, they do)

I can't stress enough how much I miss StumbleUpon