The Urge To Bother My Mutuals

I want a FULL FIC GIMMIE A SERIES 2 BILLION WORDS. Pleasseeeeeeeee it’s so fire 🔥🔥🔥🔥

wanna know what I want.

I want a DeadTired Stardew Valley AU

Like no really.

Tim is tired (tired of being a co-CEO that EVERYONE goes to so they don't got to deal with 'Brucie Wayne', living off energy drinks, coffee and spite, dealing with Ra's 'testing' him every other week, etc) and maybe on the fence with the Batfam (maybe even his friends too, like maybe he got into a fight with Cassie during a mission and she blurted out about him trying to clone Kon (and if I remember fight he tired with Bart like once?) and that opened a can of worms where his friends 'need space' and think things over or something)

Anyways I want Tim to finally have enough, maybe dig in some old family deeds/files or something and finds a old farm land/house his family still owned.

He decides to use it, if anything to just get away for a while and just think about what he actually wants to do with his life.

He gets to the town, it's small and hardly any tech is used and finds the old farm house. It's not much but it'll work.

Meanwhile.

Danny has to leave Amity, things have gone from okay to bad and it's all Vlads fault. The jerk decided to fight him in the middle of the night and Danny got caught changing back, and so very tired from the fight, by his parents and he freaked out and ranaway.

Well flew away.

Danny decides in his panic to take a page out of his Aunt Alicia's book and go off the grid to a near isolated and small town.

Our two boys meet and maybe eventually fall in love.

Guys please I NEED an easy cosplay for a game character 😭😭😭 I found out I’m going to a game convention in like 2 days and all my friends are cosplaying. I CANT BE THE ONLY ONE NOT 😢 I would be such a party pooper and I don’t wanna like half ass it because one of them is going in a full Deadpool suit

PLEASEEE HELP ME WHAT CAN I JUST PULL OUT OF MY AND MY SOSTERS CLOSETS 🙏 I DONT HAVE TIME TO GO TO THE STORE 😭

YES MINION YES FEED THE WORMS IN MY BRAIN 📚🐛🐛🐛

Sorry, Rich Boy

If there was anything Danny hated more than anything, it was doing what Vlad wanted him to do. Especially when he'd done it thinking it was against the fruitloop's wishes and the man gave him that smirk that tells him Danny had played right into the fuckers hands.

So Danny had gotten good at sniffing out a scheme. And, honestly, he didn't need to do much sniffing here.

Vlad had invited him as a plus one to a Wayne (Yes, that Wayne. Brucie Goddamn Wayne.) Gala, meant to take place only a few days from now. Vlad must have suspected Danny would never agree, would have thought it was another attempt for Danny's loyalty where none of his friends could help. Unfortunately for Vlad, Danny was a spiteful fuck and he wouldn't let Vlad go to a Gala full of rich fools alone. Not when Vlad had previously admitted to how he'd gotten his fortune in the first place.

So, there Danny was, keeping an eye on Vlad. At a Wayne Gala. In Gotham, New Jersey. Fuck his half-life.

It was a horrible idea, really. The suit is stuffy, the room is stuffy, and the people are fucking stuffy. He hangs around the food for the most part, only because Vlad keeps coming back to it which makes keeping an eye on the guy somewhat easier. He admits coming was a good idea only when he sees Vlad making buddies with the Wayne troop themselves and that smirk is on his face. Well, fuck that.

He catalogs the group; not including Bruce Wayne there is a scowling child (immediately off the table, he’s not some fucko like Vlad okay), two teenage boys (one of them black and built like a small brick wall. The other a white boy, scrawny as hell, and looking a breeze away from passing out), two teenage girls (one a peppy blonde and the other a ravenette, off to the side laughing together), and a man (big).

Overall, if he had to pick who to go after to cause the most fuss, it’d be the kid. However, he has morals, so he sets his sights on the skinny white boy instead. He’s skinny, obviously, but upon a closer look has some muscle on him that makes Danny less guilty for his choice. Sorry, rich boy, but Danny has a godfather to piss off.

He sets down his drink, walks over, and decks the poor boy in the face. The look of horror on Vlad's face is well worth the absolute confusion coating the entire group.

And, just for the cherry on top, he turns to Brucie Wayne and the fruitloop, "Your Gala sucks and so does your city. Fuck this place, never bring me here ever again Vlad."

You know what I need more of? Complementary careers.

Like get me a sound designer x videographer, model x artist, writer x game developer/director, hunter x butcher, etc. etc.

Imagine with me for a minute.

Hunter with deer carcass: Oh honey, I’m home!

Butcher: Oh dear (haha), thank you so much! Let me clean this up for later *smooches hunter*

Hunter blushing: Thank you, you’re so amazing *swoons*

Butcher: Only because you find such great game! *smile that could blind god*

Like are y’all seeing what I’m seeing??? I want them…

IM EDITING THIS ON HERE SO ITS KINDA OUT OF PLACE BUT I JUST THOUGHT OF IMMORTAL NECROMANCER X THEIR CONSTANTLY REINCARNATING LOVER!!!!

Imagine the DRAMA oooooooooouuuuu girlllll… like would the necromancer revive them and have to watch them slowly decay until they’re but a skeleton? Would they have lost their memory? Would they still be sentient?? Oooouuuuu I love

Ok apparently y’all are fake fans 😒 After much heeing and hawing over my closet I found some stuff to make a basic BOTW Zelda fit I just can’t find a way to make that blue cropped shirt have spice 😭😭😭 PLEASE ACTUALLY SOME HELP PLEASE ITS LITERALLY JUST A BLUE CROPPED SHIRT RN AND I HAVE LIKE 4 HOURS

Guys please I NEED an easy cosplay for a game character 😭😭😭 I found out I’m going to a game convention in like 2 days and all my friends are cosplaying. I CANT BE THE ONLY ONE NOT 😢 I would be such a party pooper and I don’t wanna like half ass it because one of them is going in a full Deadpool suit

PLEASEEE HELP ME WHAT CAN I JUST PULL OUT OF MY AND MY SOSTERS CLOSETS 🙏 I DONT HAVE TIME TO GO TO THE STORE 😭

I think people don't understand exactly how mean Tim Drake should be or is kinda.

Like if you have him as a ruthless businessman who was raised by Janet Drake the Dragon of Gotham.

He would put Regina George to shame.

Tim would go to a gala look a woman up and down and sneer at her last season Chanel.

He would without thinking say the meanest shit imagineable.

"If the first line of your sucide note isn't dedicated to me I wasn't honest enough."

Oh Tim Bruce's first paragraph is dedicated to you.

Like he's so mean he's made half of them cry and sometimes it not even on purpose.

"Jason if you don't shut up I'm gonna dig up your mother and put you right next to her, oh wait there wasn't anything left was there."

"Imagine being sold out twice by your mother couldn't be me."

Dick trips.

"Really living up to that family legacy."

"Should have been falling Grayson's since none of you can stay off the ground."

Like Bruce is holding Jason and Dick back but he's also sobbing because Tim is such a bitch.

Stephanie called him boy loser when he was tired and she walked out sobbing.

I need Tim Drake to say the meanest cruelest shit ever.

Because he would.

That a menace and a mean girl.

Alright ladies, gents, and other friends I have some truth I gotta speak.

If you threaten to bite someone and in response, they were like thicker clothing, or they keep a distance from you when they’re near you or any kind of like measure to stay safe, don’t be surprised.

If you bite someone and they say “hey, you better not do that again”, and then you bite them again. Don’t be shocked if they don’t wanna talk to you anymore, or if they’re keeping distance, you broke a boundary.

On the other side of things if someone says “hey, you better stop doing that or I’m gonna bite you”, and then you keep doing that, and then they bite you, don’t be surprised

If you are breaking a boundary after someone has explicitly told you not to do that, that’s on you and you cannot be mad about it. If you’re mad about it, that’s on you. Like you’re gonna have to suck it up.

It baffles me that people don’t understand this. It’s not difficult if someone’s like taking measures to stay safe or like to keep a boundary or like anything because of something that you’ve done or said, you can’t be mad about it. They have reason to feel this way, and like if you’re pinning this on, “oh they’re such a snowflake. Stop overreacting, blah blah blah”. You’re just an asshole. This isn’t a difficult concept. This is rational. 

DCxDP Fanfic Idea: Burst your Bubble

Danny makes a small mistake that spirals out of control three years later. It starts on a fateful day while working in Clockwork's Tower, covering for the Time Lord. He had pushed for the man to take a break after hearing he hadn't been on vacation since the death of dinosaurs.

It was also recommended by Frostbite. Apparently, the stress of his job was causing Clockwork to lose grip on his age shift. Much like a human grinding their teeth in sleep due to stress, Clockwork's core was rapidly shifting him through his ages, causing aches along his core. When Danny met him, the way he went from child to middle-aged man and finally old adult was just physical proof of Clockwork's stress.

His shifting got under control after they defeated Dan, but that didn't mean his muscles had a chance to relax. He was a little better off the second time Danny saw Clockwork, but when Danny asked if he could return to his parent's college days, Clockwork's form quickly started shifting again.

Danny felt horrible about it, but he was fine taking over for the ghost to relax on vacation. It wasn't even that hard. All he had to do was watch the various timelines and record large catastrophes and bursts of hope. He also had to watch hourglasses that indicated the natural flow of time in multiple worlds. Sometimes, the sand would get stuck, so he would need to stir it with a large spoon, careful to not let anything else touch the golden shine of the time sands.

It helped that the Tower was semi-sentient. It overheard him making up lies about what he was doing on a call with his parents. Danny had told his parents that this summer, he was going away to work as a summer camp counselor, while Clockwork had selected a timeline that was moving at a different speed.

One month in Danny's home dimension was a hundred years in the one Clockwork was relaxing in. When Danny's school started again, his friend would have a lovely four hundred years to enjoy. Of course, this was a tiny break for a being like Clockwork, but Danny promised to take over every summer until he graduated.

The Tower had created a room that looked a lot like a log cabin whenever his parents attempted to video call. It even created a paycheck with actual funds directly deposited into his teen account that his parents had access to.

Their doubts about Danny lying vanished when "Camp Kronos" placed a rather generous amount of money under his name. His dad was even proud of Danny going out of his way to earn his own money. It's been a long time since his Dad sounded like that when talking about his accomplishments.

Clockwork had told him the Tower spoke to him mentally because it was his Haunt, but since Danny was only Haunt sitting, he was directed to a chalkboard that the Tower could use to write messages to him. That's how he knew it was the Tower's doing that his cover was safe back home.

Danny thanked the Tower by cleaning it from top to bottom. When he asked it what its name and pronouns were, the Tower requested to be called "it" and to stop using a capital T when referring to it.

Danny tries, but he still mentally changes tower into Tower since that is its name in his head. The tiles shake in irritation whenever he accidentally says it out loud.

Besides that, the Tower didn't really interact with him. Danny made his own food, did his own laundry, and did his work. There was never a clock in and clock out; the only time he wasn't attending the timelines was when he took short breaks to sleep, eat, bathe, and clean.

But the only time he wasn't watching the time was when he was asleep, and that was because of Tower. It somehow found a way to throw the timelines in his face whenever possible.

He did enjoy using the large tub to soak in bubbles, but Tower shifted the bubbles to reflect different scenes of the timelines he was watching, causing them to flout like the tower was blowing bubbles while Danny sat in the water. If it went that far to ensure that Danny was constantly working, he could see why Clockwork had such a hard time with the core shifting.

Then, one day, while soaking, he closed his eyes, ignoring the shifting tiles and the slight rumbling of the walls as Tower grumbled. He told it that he was taking a short break and it could wait until he was done. He would rest his eyes, no matter how important it was for him to watch.

He couldn't have them close for more than a minute, but that was all the mistake needed. At that time, one of the bubbles' timelines shifted because someone in it was being an idiot and messing with time, and it started to glow with new times and forming.

Sand that Danny accidentally touched when the bubble popped right on his nose. Tower was throwing a fit, shaking everything like an earthquake as the sand fell into the soap water.

He blinked open his eyes, startled, and much to his horror, came face to face with the sand, forming a miniature window into that timeline. A human teenager was staring right back at him, jaw dropped with a healthy building flush rising on his cheeks, as the time sand danced around his eyes, though he seemed unable to look away from Danny.

Windows were often granted to specific individuals favored by Clockwork, causing them to become Seers. It was not a common blessing because, more often than not, mortals could not handle future knowledge.

Even ghosts long dead struggle with the power. The only reason Danny was able to cover for Clockwork was because his brain was both dead and alive at the same time. Madness cause time couldn't touch him because, technically, he was already crazy.

Tower shook again, the stone groaning under its disapproval as Danny became uncomfortable, aware that the only thing protecting his dignity was the white foam low on his stomach. With a yelp, he sank further into the water, his hands covering his important bits out of habit, and he waved his hand to close the window.

The teenager moved his mouth in a silent plea, but he vanished in a swirl as quickly as he appeared. It was only a few seconds. Not even ten. Surely nothing could come from that?

A mistake he pushed to the back of his mind.

Surely, not paying attention for just a tiny amount of time could not have caused anything to be too bad.

_____________________________________________________________

"Hey dude? You okay?"

"I just....I just saw an angel...."

"What?"

"An angel. He warned me....showed me....I have to tell Mr.Wayne!"

"Wait! Where are you going!? Tell Mr. Wayne what?!"

"His son is going to die next week!"

"What!?"

"Jason Todd! The angel showed me! I have to warn them!"

_____________________________________________________________

Tower didn't tell on him, and Danny didn't bring it up. Clockwork returned in mid-adult form when the summer ended, looking far more relaxed and no longer shifting forms so rapidly.

He apparently spent four hundred years on a small paradise island, sipping coconut and dancing with locals who thought him a god. He hugged Danny, another large bonus for his paycheck, and sent him on his way.

The following summer, Danny completely forgot about the little accident and never bothered to check on that timeline. Clockwork was unaware there was a major shift in it, so he assumed that the world was moving as it should, though he complained that he had to unclog it a lot more because of a Seer who often opened too many Windows.

It was a testament to how much he needed that vacation for Clockwork to forget he never chose that Seer, despite the young human proving he had the will to handle his visions.

\Danny never realized that Seer was the same teenager he saw back then until one day three years later when Seer was an established fortune teller working as a consultant with some hero society and had used some of the said heroes to try and contact Clockwork.

"Danny." Clockwork started watching the young human set up an altar. "Why is a human attempting to use himself as a virgin sacrifice for me?"

"Ummmm"

"Danny, why does my Haunt claim you gave him the Sight."

"Well....."

"Danny why is Timothy Jackson Drake, who fated to be the third Robin in this time line, now a mere consultant who use his power of Sight for money gain? He's not a hero, did you know that? He merely lives next door to one of that world's greatest heroes and is obsessed with finding his Angel"

"I may have....made a mistake when I was fourteen."

"Danny," Clockwork's faux-friendly tone grew sharper as his form shifted from the three stages of age. "What did you do?"

"I can fix it!"

"How."

"I'll....enter that timeline and set it on the right path? I can answer his summons and convince him to become a hero with the Bats?"

Tower shook as if laughing at him.

"How." The hiss that came from the Time god was almost incomprehensible, with the amount of rage crammed into one syllable

"I'll-I can-Honey pot him!" Danny whimpered, cowering under the withering death glare Clockwork was aiming at him. "I can convince him that being a vigilante is cool and hot, so he'll be Red Robin, and the timeline can be saved?"

Clockwork's eyes darken. "You better not fail me. Send him away, Haunt"

Tower- the traitor- moved instantly. It shifted its stones to drag Danny to Red Robin's cluttered hourglass. It flung him in before he could protest, using Danny to unclog it. He is nearly down in the sinking sand, scrambling for purpose before he falls flat on his bum, and the sand vanishes.

A soft gasp has him looking up. Standing before him is the Seer Tim Drake, who looks beyond happy.

"It's you! My Angel!"

Oh my god it’s perfect. His ugly ahh cowl works so well 😭😭 wiping the tears from my eyes this is so funny

Swans

Imagine pray tell if you will

Tim swanified and angry: *Agreesively honks and puffs up chest/wings at Danny because get away from me?? Who do you think you are??*

Danny sensing something’s up with this swan: WOAH BACK UP WHO ARE YOU???

Tim pausing from where he was just biting Danny: …honk..?

Danny eyeing him suspiciously: …Wanna see my Yeti doctor?

Tim curious and wondering if this guy is sane follows Danny through his strange Lazarus green (but less rotten food smelling, more like lemon or grapefruit) portal because why not? Actions are better than words, especially when you don’t have any!

Or hear me out perchance maybe please

Tim angerly honks and gets defensive: HONK! HKEEEEHHHR!!! (WHO ARE YOU? WHERE AM I? WHAT HAPPENED? WHERE ARE MY ARMS?!?!?)

Danny who understands most languages because ghost stuff plot plot plot: Woah there dude! Just passing by, what happened?

Tim even angrier because he figured out he was a bird, possible swan?, and what? You understand bird? Stupid stupid IDIOT: HHKEEEHRRRRR KERRRRHHH *very intense hissing and honking* (OH LOOK AT THIS WISE GUY, what do you speak bird, *swan version of scoffing* WHAT DO YOU THINK? I JUST MAGICALLY KNOW WHY IM A BIRD?? NO! NO I DONT KNOW WHY! Fucking idiot..

Danny, offended and petty: Well I WAS going to help you but…

Tim getting confused: Honk??? (What is this guy on???)

Danny turns and starts to walk away but peaks his head over his shoulder: I mean if you want help you can follow me, I know a great doctor!

Tim lost and upset: *swan sigh* honnkkkk… (Finneeee…) *starts waddling poorly because he’s got weird ahh legs plus kinda dragging his feet*

Idk I just want a Tim Drake that’s literally a drake, I don’t care if it’s dragon or duck/duck adjacent. GIVE IT TO MEEEEEEEEEE

Wow that’s like fire 🔥🔥🔥🔥 straight up gas damn, I wanna eat it

Joker Junior Prompt

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HEAR ME OUT- GUYS SIT YOUR ASSES DOWN AND LISTEN TO MY ANGST PROMPT:

So we all know the Joker has been a pain in the ass for everyone, yadda yadda, backstory stuff, boo hoo crying and shit.

This usually leads to great angsty fics revolving around Jason and/or Tim. Usually having the best angst covering Joker Junior and stuff. I’ve seen the headcannons, cried at the fics, great stuff.

BUT, but- no guys, hear me out, consider this. During one of Tim’s episodes -I was thinking this is years after, already going through his Red Robin character growth- it triggers after a long, long, time. How it started is up to your interpretation. But, instead of Jason being the first one to find him during his episode, no, it’s Duke Thomas.

THINK ABOUT IT!! Guys, the man already witnessed his parents go mad from Joker Venom, can you imagine how he’d react seeing someone else he considers his family show signs of being Jokerized!? THE POTENTIAL!!

And like, of course he’s not going to know about the JJ stuff and already assume the worst. Other members can get involved too, but image the scare Duke -alone- would have upon first witnessing Tim’s episode!

—

This may also be me trying to include Duke into more batfam fics, but hey, that man deserves more love and attention, even if it means dragging him through some more angst- get off my back!!