You Know When You Wanna Outwordly Talk Of Something A Lot That’s Really Specific Too You But You Don’t

I see no qualms.

Do it.

So I got a story I’m writing, and I just realized something.

There’s seven main characters-three boys, three girls and one who is bigender, leaning more masculine. And I just realized that I accidentally gave all the boys daddy issues and all the girls mommy issues(bi-gender kid is in the mommy camp)

Commissioned my oc’s to be drawn by the lovely @krisha-228

From left to right: Theo, Crane, Louisiana, Shayy

trying to figure out how to draw deltarune characters,,, these aren't the best but they have charm. I esp need to practice susie

The character ever

the stats spiral

That's what I call it when I start obsessing over the numbers I get on fics or posts. When I refresh AO3 every five or ten minutes to see if I've got more hits or kudos. When I keep my tumblr activity page open in a tab to see new notes as soon as they come in.

It's not fun. Not really. Even when I sometimes tell myself it is.

You see, it starts out exciting! I've put a thing out there and now I get to see the reactions to it! I'm like a kid on their birthday who can't wait to see their presents. What are people going to say? Will they like it? Will they talk to me about it?

I'm lucky enough that I do get notes on tumblr posts and I do get comments and kudos when I post on AO3. But depending on how excited I am about the thing that I made and depending on how uncertain I am of whether it's any good, I want to get a lot more attention than I end up getting.

I know that that's a normal feeling. I know it's even a rational one! I've put a lot of effort into making something, or I've made something that I think my community will like, and not hearing back like I'd hoped can sometimes feel like rejection. It can be a huge disappointment that makes me doubt myself, my abilities, my connection to my community.

That's why I say it's not fun. Because even though 'engagement' can give me a really high high, it can also give me a really low low.

When I finally realize I'm in one of those lows (and it sometimes takes me a while to realize that I am), that's when I know that I need to step away.

When it's really bad, I just stop posting until I'm in a better mental space. For me, I now recognize that those feelings are often coming from me wanting a connection of some kind. The need for attention is coming from a feeling of loneliness or isolation, and so I need to counteract that by reaching out to people I know and care about to have a chat or a meal or just some time spent doing something communal.

When I can catch it early, then I force myself to close the activity tab here on tumblr and hide whatever stats are making me spiral on AO3. I've learned to recognize that I'm looking to those metrics as a way to feel important or special or cared for in some way and that I need to figure out where I'm feeling insecure in my life and how to get some reassurance - because strangers on the internet won't be able to give me what I need.

If you're currently spiraling, first of all lemme give you a hug ❤️ I hope you can take some time and figure out what it is that you want those stats to tell you about yourself or what it is that you think those stats will give you that you're not getting from somewhere else.

And if you haven't heard it lately, I'm glad that you're in this world - no matter what kind of numbers you have on your posts.

Who is this son of a bitch?

And why is he in my feed?

Hello hi yes welcome to my sanctuary of blog.

Let’s start with fandoms cause that’s the most immediate “ah yes we can become friends” indicator.

Anime:

My Hero Academia, One Punch Man, Chainsaw Man, Spy X Family, My Dress Up Darling, Hajime No Ippo, Time I got Reincarnated as a Slime, Jojo’s bizzare adventure

Tv Shows:

Gravity Falls, Owl House, Amphibia, Regular Show, Adventure Time , Bob’s Burgers, Chowder, Ed, Edd, and Eddy

Games:

ULTRAKILL, Undertale, Deltarune, Lisa: The Painful, Friday Night Funkin,Five nights at Freddy’s, Danganronpa, Ace Attorny, Persona 3/4/5, I wani hug that gator/Snoot Game, Ace Attorney, Jet Set Radio / Bomb Rush Cyberfunk, The binding of Isaac, The Stanley parable, Pizza Tower, Punch Out, Incredibox

Music:

Femtanyl, Tally Hall, Jack Stauber, Ken Ashcorp, Joey Valence & Brae, Jamiroquai, Lemon Demon/Neil Cicierega, So Far So Good, Frizk, Tanger, The Vanished People, Natori, Porter Robinson, 2 Mello, Hideki naganuma

Some of them I am better aquatinted/love more but generally if you were to ask me about them I could talk of them.

I primarily like to write stories (FAN-FICTION) and read them as well. I’d argue I’m an artist but currently not arting right now so that’s on hold.

For my stories:

Delta Academia Blog

My favorite character right now is this little RAT.

So if you ask me anything about him I shall provide with much to feast!

I’ll edit anything I feel like adding later but that’s all for introductions on me so 👋

Damn y’all work fast !!!

I recreated the Lightners Live sprites from the trailer for your jamming pleasure