Adorb A Lorb

the stats spiral

That's what I call it when I start obsessing over the numbers I get on fics or posts. When I refresh AO3 every five or ten minutes to see if I've got more hits or kudos. When I keep my tumblr activity page open in a tab to see new notes as soon as they come in.

It's not fun. Not really. Even when I sometimes tell myself it is.

You see, it starts out exciting! I've put a thing out there and now I get to see the reactions to it! I'm like a kid on their birthday who can't wait to see their presents. What are people going to say? Will they like it? Will they talk to me about it?

I'm lucky enough that I do get notes on tumblr posts and I do get comments and kudos when I post on AO3. But depending on how excited I am about the thing that I made and depending on how uncertain I am of whether it's any good, I want to get a lot more attention than I end up getting.

I know that that's a normal feeling. I know it's even a rational one! I've put a lot of effort into making something, or I've made something that I think my community will like, and not hearing back like I'd hoped can sometimes feel like rejection. It can be a huge disappointment that makes me doubt myself, my abilities, my connection to my community.

That's why I say it's not fun. Because even though 'engagement' can give me a really high high, it can also give me a really low low.

When I finally realize I'm in one of those lows (and it sometimes takes me a while to realize that I am), that's when I know that I need to step away.

When it's really bad, I just stop posting until I'm in a better mental space. For me, I now recognize that those feelings are often coming from me wanting a connection of some kind. The need for attention is coming from a feeling of loneliness or isolation, and so I need to counteract that by reaching out to people I know and care about to have a chat or a meal or just some time spent doing something communal.

When I can catch it early, then I force myself to close the activity tab here on tumblr and hide whatever stats are making me spiral on AO3. I've learned to recognize that I'm looking to those metrics as a way to feel important or special or cared for in some way and that I need to figure out where I'm feeling insecure in my life and how to get some reassurance - because strangers on the internet won't be able to give me what I need.

If you're currently spiraling, first of all lemme give you a hug ❤️ I hope you can take some time and figure out what it is that you want those stats to tell you about yourself or what it is that you think those stats will give you that you're not getting from somewhere else.

And if you haven't heard it lately, I'm glad that you're in this world - no matter what kind of numbers you have on your posts.

Brainz

sketch dump

Ican'tshow

So I usually make content using pre-existing media, but I've always wanted to do something original. Wholly my own. So here's that.

World basis:

Early in the 1980’s people were being born with completely different structural heads than normal. Late into it was it found to be a sudden neurological connection to the 4th dimension, causing a literal and physical mental imbalance.

Those affected believed it should be removed, so they were meant to be Nullified, but instead this stuck as the term for those born with it.

Once the panic had calmed down, society began to pick itself back up by the late 1990’s.

The mass of the older generation, who have not gotten this neurological change, have indifference or even hatred to those Nullified.

Nullified:

Those who had this neurological connection resulted in their head, or body, having completely different properties to that of someone without it.

Because the connection is based in time, every person with it doesn’t have the same look or effect. No two people will ever have exactly tge same results.

Despite how they look, Nullfied can still function like a normal human, not withstanding any mental or physical disabilities formed from birth (which were wrongly accused to be more common in Nullfied as a way to see them lesser. There is no factual evidence that being Null is naturally flawed).

Some who become Null may even have the ability to do things once seen as impossible, akin to comic book superhero’s.

Since the variety would make it impossible to narrow down powers that are or aren’t harmful, Null who can do this are under government watchlists (unbeknownst to the Nullfied).

Otherwise, court of law judges Null’s powers in their own sanctum, so mental or physical assault with these abilities are classified as such.

======================== So what does this mean?

Think My Hero quirks but it's casual instead of Hero Vs Villian shit.

Shayy

+ Meta-Morphing shape for a head

+ Emotions are very much on his sleeve

+ jack of all arts, master of none

+ Hard time with friends

+ ADHD like mad

Louisiana

+ Whole eye for a head

+ Doesn’t really have an idea for what she wanna do for a life

+ Knows most of the other nulls in the small town, but most prominently…

Crane

+ An asshole

+ Whole body minus the center is skeleton

+ Feels like his life is already done

+ Gas Station worker

+ Smokes a lot; doesn’t feel it cause it can’t reach his lungs

Also a lot more I'm concocting.

This thing will either be a comic, written book, or, what i'd most prefer...

A visual novel! Thanks for reading if you have :) I'm not sure if this will go anywhere but I still wanna put it out there for me myself and I

O.O.C moment within Delta Academia, my (unposted) fanfiction combining aspects of Deltarune into My Hero Academia.

Kris is weird, wish I could get this drawn as well.

No more Limits.

Stop the traffic.

Find The Exit.

(Oc owned by me, Design drawn by Marnie on Bluesky)

Bookbinding Fanfiction

So apparently Barns and Nobles just…let you print out your own books for little cost? I had always wondered of those who make their fanfiction into physical things to read rather than through a screen, but I didn't think it would be this easy.

The idea of printing my own fic into a physical book just sounds nice for some reason.

Actually, printing anyone's fic into a physical book to re-read just sounds awesome. As long as you aren't planning to sell it, it's a nice way of solidifying it, making it easy to re-read, and being easier on the eyes!

That said, asking the author would be a nice gesture at the minimum, since sure they can't do much to stop you (especially if it's with copyrighted material), but I suppose it would be a dick move.

Like, seriously go look for yourself it's like less then $10 for 200 pages or less it's amazing.

Reblog, click the picture, and prepare for battle.