Battlegothic - Perpetual Remaker

Fellas is the path ahead bleak and hopeless or

catch me driving 90mph down the freeway with a yankee candle burning in the passenger seat

Best thing about finishing my student placement: can finally go back to work and chill a lil

Worst thing about finishing my student placement: can't use "I'm in jail sorry" as an excuse for missing phone calls

i find it funny that conservatives try to paint me calling for the death and destruction of multi-billionaire CEOs as some radical "woke liberal" standpoint. as if that even has anything to do with politics, especially in this era of surface level circus politics. the same way they try to politicize the hurricanes or the wildfires destroying parts of america, as if climate change is somehow a red vs. blue issue. it's no secret i'm from a deeply conservative family in the sticks of florida and i still grew up hearing "i fought the law and the law won". the healthcare system has fucked each and every member of my family in a different way at one point or another, as is the case with pretty much every family in this scorched earth nation. remember when country music, the genre currently associated the heaviest with the most conservative faction of america, used to be staunchly anti-government and about sticking it to the man? remember when the coal miners, grandfathers to the "trump-er hillbillies" of appalachia that everyone loves to write off as ignorant, fought tooth and nail for unionization because the companies that were built off their labor didn't give a shit if they lived or died? since when has "upholding traditional values" gone hand in hand with... defending lawmakers and oil tycoons. my family and i complain about the same issues at the dinner table. the men in charge better hope they can keep their digital smokescreens running as long as they can because the moment the rednecks and the hippies lay down their swords long enough to realize they have the same enemy, all hell is gonna break loose.

You know you fucked up when Count Dankula on your ass about being a Nazi

Post what would've killed you in the tags

Love when I get dysregulated by a trigger and the rest of my night until sleep is anxiety and being in freeze mode, barely able to eat or think a thought that isn't revolving around the trigger. Nervous system, ma'am, do you not think you're being a little dramatique

When my ex-therapist couldn't pull through on something or needed to reschedule I remember being normal about it on the outside but feeling this real anger on the inside. A great sense of indignance towards her. (I've graduated therapy for the time being which is why she's an ex, nothing bad happened. She is great at what she does.)

Now that I think about it, I think it's transference. She's the parental figure and I'm finally being able to safely yell and scream WHY THE FUCK DON'T YOU DO THIS SHIT FOR ME!!! HOW FUCKING DARE YOU!!! for the first time. I could never vocalise the betrayal of having opportunities sabotaged or denied but I can get real mad at someone in a therapeutic relationship for not responding to an email in time (internally, of course). She's literally a chill ass Polish woman doing her thing and I'm copy pasting my parents over her and chimping out at her in my head. Very liberating to be able to connect the dots in my behaviours like that. I think I will write letters I won't send and use her to air my grievances a little more, see how the inner child and teenager go after that.

anyways thnx Daria for letting me normalise myself a bit more.

The various conflicts happening in recent years have truly demonstrated how susceptible to propaganda and Othering everyone is, it's kinda scary. Your government fucks up and suddenly you and everyone you know is inherently evil and must be killed off. Unironically running with racially profiling nicknames, not letting """oppressors"""" (read, people who happen to be citizens of a Naughty Country) be justifiably worried for their loved ones who suffer the crime of being born somewhere. Automatically assuming that geopolitical positioning means you are your government. A lot of people can never claim to be aware of anything ever again.