There Were Some Evenings That Regulus Didn't Mind Company, And Some Where He Wanted To Simply People

The conflict waging war within him was almost like nothing he’d ever felt before. With Sirius, Regulus felt a personal betrayal at the loss of his brother. He had always liked Andromeda, but the betrayal didn’t cut as deep. Yet he stood in Diagon Alley reflecting on the creeping darkness that felt like it could suffocate him, and here was his cousin who had carved a life she clearly enjoyed and had fought so fiercely to protect and keep. He knew what he had been taught to believe, he knew he should think that his niece was a filthy abomination, and yet when he looked at the girl innocently eating her sugar quill all he saw was a child that had a future in front of them. Tucking his hands back in his pockets, he inclined his head slightly as Andromeda gestured. “I understand,” he murmured quietly. “I don’t…I can’t agree with it, but I understand why you made your choices,” he offered.

He just wished she understood the pressure that the loss of herself and Sirius had placed onto their younger siblings shoulders – pressure to be perfect, to uphold the family standards, to never step a foot out of line. It was an impossible ask, and yet it was the life Regulus led. “Good for you,” he said, a hint of bitterness in his tone. He missed his brother. “It’s not the job my parents wanted for me, but I love researching and carving new ground. They wanted a diplomat,” he shrugged, having little interest in politics. A slight frown curved over his brow as he considered whether he was happy, and all he could offer was “I love my job.” His life was a mess, and it was only getting worse. “I’m glad that you’re happy…I’m glad you’ve found a good life,” he whispered. “Is Sirius happy?”

Andromeda couldn’t help the way her heart clenched at the sight of Regulus speaking with Dora. Dora was always surrounded by people who loved her, true family and family made from friendships. But to see her with Regulus, she wished Dora could have a relationship with her family. But she’d resigned herself to the idea it would likely never happen. Still, to see the way Dora smiled at Regulus and whispered a ‘thank you’ as she took the sugar quill made her heart ache for what could be. “I did.” She agreed. “And I’ll never regret making the choice I did.” A weak laugh as she gestured down at Dora before her eyes returned to him. “How can I regret this? A life without Ted, a life without her. It wouldn’t have been one worth living, regardless of what the family says.”

“It’s good to have family, however little of it Sirius and I may have left.” She agreed with a weak smile. “It’s good for both of us, and for Dora.” She wanted to tell Regulus that he was welcome to visit too, that he would always be her family. But she wasn’t willing to push, not when she knew such a suggestion could be met with derision and a nasty comment. “I’m glad, you’ve always been brilliant. I’m glad the ministry sees that.” She glanced down at Dora, too entranced in her treat to pay attention to anything else going on around her. “We’re good. Happy.” She assured him, looking up at him and smiling. “I hope you are too…happy that is.” A moments pause. “I know none of you want anything to do with me. But that doesn’t change anything for me. I wish nothing but happiness for all of you.” She wanted to say that she loved them all, missed them every day. But she wasn’t sure she could bear to show any further weakness.

Regulus was trying to balance too many spinning plates between his family duties, his duties to the war, his own misgivings, and the secrets he was trying to keep. He did not want to sit here under Bellatrix's beady eye, knowing he had disappointed her since he was a boy and that he continued to be an ever present reminder of what the Black family could have had, and that they were left with him instead. He had tried - nobody could say that he hadn't tried. Merlin, he'd torn his soul in two trying to be good enough. He'd cast curse after curse, he'd trained and trained, he had gone on plenty of successful missions - yet it had stained his soul until he was truly fit for the Black name. The pressure from all sides was drowning him, pouring down his throat and choking his airwaves. He couldn't continue like this, but he couldn't see another way out. He felt like there was only one way this ended for him, and it was a permanent closure to the story of Regulus Black.

Taking a deep breath to steady himself, Regulus kept his eyes trained on his cousin. He would not cower in front of Bellatrix, no matter the way his insides were twisting with anxiety and fear about what she may demand of him. He loved her, truly, he did. A large part of Regulus resisting against the conscience that had been gnawing at his soul for so long had been that he did not want to go the way of Andromeda, of Sirius. He did not want to lose Bella, or Cissa. Even his parents, twisted and awful though they were, Regulus would mourn the loss of them in his life. It was all he had ever known, and stepping out into a complete unknown terrified him. At his heart, he felt like a scared little boy. He did not want to lose his family.

Bella's silence at his outburst was chilling, and he made a noise of discontentment at the finger pointed in his direction. "The mission was successful. There was no need for Rabastan to update you on my abilities in the battlefield, that is gossip. I knew you were getting updates on me, nothing is ever fucking private in this family is it?" he spat, furious at both Bellatrix and his mentor. He bit his tongue rather than retorting at her correct assumption that he was trying to distract her. Snatching a biscuit from the tray, Regulus considered that he must truly look like a toddler throwing a tantrum, yet he couldn't bring himself to care as he ate the biscuit with a frown. "Bellatrix, there is no hidden game to my words. I do not want you to teach me," he asserted. "My best is avada. The other two are equally poor, though I would say my imperio is slightly better than my crucio. But I am working on those with Rabastan, and that is the way it will stay."

"I appreciate your offer, I do. I have told you this before, I appreciate...the care that it shows. But I am fine. I don't understand how I can say it more clearly, cousin. I do not want your help."

Bellatrix had loved Sirius. She had admired his spirit, laughing at the way he stuck a middle finger up at every stuffy rule and regulation. She'd valued the way he had never tried to cramp her into a box, labelling her like every other godforsaken male in their family. But he had been full of deceit. His betrayal had destroyed her. It had fuelled her rage and sent her spinning for the Dark Lord more brutally and determinedly than she had known possible. Even now, sitting here with Regulus, she couldn't help but see his brother's face and feel her skin crawling with latent ire. Revenge would be sweet - for Regulus, as much as for herself. She would lay down her life for her youngest cousin, though the fact that he didn't seem to value her devotion hurt. She refused to acknowledge it, focussing only on the fact that the rejection was because she was too intense. It was a selfless consideration for such an egocentric witch, though in large part inspired by her unwillingness to admit to her own weakness.

Not once did she cease her observations. Her eyes may have turned away, but she could feel Regulus squirming beside her despite his valiant attempts at holding composure. She was proud of that. He could wear a mask like the rest of them, painting a picture of noble strength and stoic integrity. So as he sat back casually, a smile snaked her lips, which curved indecorously behind the rim of her teacup. Placing it back onto the saucer, she slid it onto a side table and sat, staring unflinching at Regulus as he spoke. They were like a pair of statuettes, dark haired and pale skinned, the familial resemblance running as strong as the blood that fuelled their limbs. Little did she know the depth of Regulus's struggles. Long may she remain unaware, for it would not please her to kill him. She took pleasure in the devil's work, but that would cause her no satisfaction.

She listened to everything he had to say. Though she had a vested interest in his success - though she desired it tirelessly - she was clever and wily. She would not allow emotional instincts to drive her this time, knowing how he desired detachment - for whatever absurd reason. Not once did she move. Not until his voice sharpened with anger, inspiring yet another twist of approval through her porcelain skin. As the tea splattered across the saucer, she narrowed her eyes and considered him, waiting until his diatribe had ceased.

"You have pride, Regulus. Rightly so." Pointing a finger, her eyes expanded indicatively. "But don't let it come before a fall. There was no gossiping. It was a mission, there were updates, I was informed. Do not use my devotion to the Dark Lord as a way to distract me." She arched an eyebrow, stern despite the amusement that lightened her tone and curved her harsh lips. "Nice try but I'm not an idiot. I know what you're doing. Biscuit?" Flicking her wand, she hovered a tray towards her cousin, not thinking twice about combining a pleasant refreshment with this darker topic. As it floated between them, she picked up a ginger snap and studied it before taking a bite. "Which is your best Unforgiveable and which is your worst?"

There was a saying that Regulus perhaps should have remembered upon entry to the Lestrange household, and that was 'don't poke the bear'. Upon seeing Alecto's eyes, it was fairly clear to him that his humour and general wit was not welcome here presently, and he shot her a wide grin. It would intimidate him if not for the fact he knew he held a soft spot in her dark heart, and his parents had trained him to be able to take a beating. He mimed as if he was knitting to her, before holding his hands up in surrender. 'Sorry,' he mouthed, trying to school his features to look somewhat sheepish.

Despite being a little shit, Regulus didn't want to truly piss off one of the few people that was still in his corner.

An owl had been sent earlier to warn her of his appearance. She was inclined to send one back refusing his visit, but with being home from Hogwarts for the weekend, and no use of her needed for the cause at the moment, his presence wasn't entirely horrid.

Each word that uttered from his incompetent mouth ignited a fire inside of her, her fingers itching to wring his neck for being so insolent. Eyes narrowed like daggers at the young Black wizard, her wand in a close hand, where she pointed it at him. "Silencio" A single word held him tight lip. Alecto turns to face him. "It appears Regulus Black, you have forgotten your manners and who I am." A coldness to her tone, not unusual for her. "Do not make me regret allowing you over." She warns, taking a deep breath. "If I let you speak, will you behave? I will not hold back from torturing you if you try me."

Regulus had shown Caradoc more of his true self than he'd shown to anyone else in years - maybe even since Sirius left. He'd been able to show Caradoc his love of the muggle way of cooking, and hadn't had to pretend that the food he was serving had been made by a house elf. He'd shown Caradoc some of the gentleness that he thought had been left behind in the halls of Hogwarts along with the ghosts, and it had softened him. Caradoc had managed to break down his cold exterior, and with the slow removal of the bricks that Regulus had built around himself, the more uncomfortable he'd grown with his position in the war.

Leaning comfortably into his embrace, Reg smacked a kiss against Caradoc's cheek. "I'm sorry it's been so long...it's been kind of a wild time since I last saw you. I guess I've got a lot to say, and I definitely couldn't say it in a letter," he said, his voice taking on a tinge of nervousness. He wasn't entirely sure how Caradoc was going to take his news, but he wanted to be open and honest. "How nasty, my dear? I could never do your job...I seem to be better at setting curses off than breaking them," Reg said, thinking back to a recent mission where he accidentally tripped a curse because he was distracted.

As they settled onto the couch, Reg flicked his wand towards a pot of cinnamon tea that he'd made earlier and warmed it before charming it to pour two cups. The fire was roaring in the fireplace, and the world outside seemed to fade away as it always did when he was with Caradoc. "I won't keep you wondering too much longer. I've got a lot to tell you."

Caradoc immediately relaxed as Regulus’s arms wrapped around his waist, closing his eyes for a second. He always felt safer here, even more safe than his own home, because of the protective wards Regulus had. Plus, he knew that if this was bad news, Regulus wouldn’t have embraced him so warmly. It reminded Caradoc of how special this was, that he got to experience and see the soft side of his . . . Boyfriend? He wasn’t really sure what the label was, but it didn’t matter. They were together and they both knew it, that was enough.

He accepted the kiss with a smile, wrapping his arms around Regulus’s neck. “Hi. I missed you too. Receiving your owl was definitely a nice surprise. I didn’t want to risk my letter being compromised if I replied, so I came here as soon as possible. Just returned from a job this morning, had to deal with a nasty curse,” he replied, rambling on a bit. He was trying not to let it show how eager he was to hear this news. Caradoc had tried to speculate on what it might be, but couldn’t decide on a good guess.

Figuring that they should settle in, Caradoc took Regulus’s hand and wandered over to the couch, sitting down on it. He had dressed comfortably, with a snug jumper and jeans on.

Regulus sometimes felt like he was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders, and he wasn't sure what to do with that feeling. It wasn't as if there was anything he could put down to make it easier - he enjoyed his job, so he was hesitant to let go of his work. He could hardly step away from the cause that he had pledged his life to, and since Sirius had turned his back on their family, his parents had doubled down on ensuring that Regulus stayed on the right path. Their focus was stifling, and it had hardly lessened since Regulus moved out to live alone. All he could do was his best, and Regulus was terrified that his best wasn't good enough.

Enter Rabastan, a mentor Regulus had turned to when his eldest cousin's attention became too much. He was grateful, truly, and yet Regulus knew that he shouldn't need extra tuition to be able to cast an unforgivable. He was the male heir to the House of Black, and he couldn't cast an unforgivable without his stomach churning...it was pathetic, and he knew it. "Yes, the imperius curse...I've never managed to do it strongly before," he said, twirling his wand between his fingers. He nodded at the instruction, and he could almost hear his mother's high pitched voice shrieking that he had to mean it.

Summoning the anger and anxiety that was always simmering beneath the surface of his emotions, Regulus turned his wand towards Rabastan. "Imperio," Regulus cursed, willing Rabastan to do some ballet pirouettes.

Rabastan liked the youngest Black. It had been with an unusual generosity that he'd taken Regulus under his wing when he'd joined the Death Eaters. There was something akin to recognition in the act. He'd seen something in Regulus that resonated. Perhaps it was his position as the second son of a noble house, and the weighty expectation that came with that status. Rabastan did not think on it. He was merely willing to give Regulus his time.

He had of course set the enchantments already. But rather than extinguish the other wizard's enthusiasm, he permitted him to add his own spells to the mix, watching all the while and judging his choices. He approved. Regulus was cautious and thorough.

"You'll learn," he replied, stepping closer. A smile drifted his lips fleetingly, fading as quickly as the breeze that passed through the glade where they stood. There was no need for a mask, here. Nothing would get through the spells without him knowing about it in good time. "So, the Imperius Curse? Cast it on me first. Let me see what you can do." Then he slowly grinned, wickedly and full of mirth. "Just don't make me do anything too absurd."

There was something poetic about the way Regulus had run into Andromeda and Narcissa in almost the exact same spot, just a few days apart. One interaction had left him full of confusion, but he understood Narcissa on a level that he'd never managed to reach with Bellatrix. They shared one overwhelming feeling - the burden of family expectations. He shot a smile back, partially because he was glad to see her and partially because this was an interaction that he wouldn't have to overthink. "I'm glad you had a good time. I'd love to travel more - get out of the dreary grey weather and see the world. I hope I won't have to wait till my own honeymoon to get away," he said with a grin. "I suppose it felt a bit like a bubble, didn't it? The outside world kept out, and it's just you and Lucius to worry about. It must've been quite peaceful."

"Mm, of course. At least it went smoothly, there's nothing like feeling at home," he murmured, thinking of his own home - a little piece of the world that he had carved out, just for him. It was a place of safety, and comfort. He was glad Narcissa found that at the Manor, just as she had at home. "I found something at work actually that may interest you. Once I've done the necessary work for the department, I'll see if I can smuggle it out for you to take a look at," he said, having stepped closer and lowering his voice so that they would not be overheard.

"I'm fine. Just the same as ever really - work, keeping my parents happy, and balancing everything else in between. You know how it is."

"Oh, Regulus, hello." Turning around to see her cousin, Narcissa offered him a warm smile. Like most people, she hadn't seen him since her wedding and the weeks since had been such a whirlwind that she'd not had the chance to make an effort to reach out, but she was happy to see him now. "My honeymoon was wonderful, thank you. Greece was beautiful from what we saw of it, perfect weather, delicious food. It was definitely a sad day when it was time for us to return home to reality." She nodded.

"Life at the Manor is good though. I spent so much time there over these last few years that it wasn't as much of a transition to move in fully as I thought it might be." She shook her head. "Lucius is still getting used to having my hobbies under his roof, mind you, but he has his birds so I think it makes us even." Narcissa chuckled. Peacocks and cursed items were hardly the same but that wasn't the point.

"And what about you though? How have you been keeping? Anything that I've missed these last few weeks?"

"No rule, but maybe there should be....too often I've been here first, and someone else has just waltzed along and stolen the last vial and then I have to wait for a restock," Reg said with a roll of his eyes. He'd started a small stock of potions ingredients at home, but it never seemed to be enough. "A store that doesn't seem to be able to keep the correct amount of stock in, Longbottom."

"Last I checked, there isn't a rule against browsing the same shelf." Frank said lightly. The Blacks were something else these days, their words cut as sharp as knives. Every single one of them had it and Frank didn't particularly enjoy it. "It's a store, Regulus."

With the ministry as inept as they were, it was no surprise that the Dark Lord was making ground and quickly. The ministry had deemed this man a high priority for protection, and yet they hadn't even set up basic wards. There was nothing stopping himself and Thorfinn from walking in and slaughtering the lot of them. Rolling his shoulders as he braced for a fight, Fenrir tilted his head slightly as he watched one of the wizards pacing outside the front door. "Roughly how long will it be until the switch? Anything more than five minutes and I'm thinking we just handle it now. I don't want to wait."

"You can manage casting the mark then. I'll manage apparating the target out, hopefully with two or three others."

There was something about Fenrir that Thorfinn could respect. Outside of his circle of Antonin and Rodolphus, he was rather keen on being sent out with the beast to handle cause business. They both seemed to like leaving a trail of red behind them. With the spell cast, Thorfinn glanced around. Ten. They could easily handle it, but there would be damage. "We can wait for the switch or handle it now?" He didn't care, his research done to make it easier for them.

"He would like to leave a message." That would answer the question being asked.

Caradoc’s response was to be expected, and he slowly drew his sleeve back down to cover the mark as he continued to stare. Regardless of his shifting allegiances, that mark would blemish his skin forever. He would always feel the burning call when the Dark Lord summoned his followers, and he would always be stained by the choices that he made as a foolish child. What had once been a sign of pride was now a source of shame, but all he could do was try to make better choices from here on in.

“Hey, hey, c’mere,” Regulus wrapped an arm around Caradoc’s shoulder, pulling him closer to try and comfort him. “I want to do good. I want to be better. I’ve spoken to Edgar Bones and I have started feeding him information about some plans I was aware of, and some people that have been imperiused. He’s putting protection in place for me, I’m assuming via the Order…but I’m scared that if it all comes out that the Death Eaters will kill me. But that fear…it’s not enough to keep me there. I was never a very good Death Eater. I’ve been having lessons with someone to teach me to be better at the unforgivables, and just last week I completely froze up in a battle because I was having a panic attack. It can’t carry on like this, and so…I need out. This is it, y’know. This is the turning point of my life, and there’s no going back from here.”

Pressing a kiss to the crown of Caradoc’s head as he tried to play off the emotions, Regulus continued. “I’m not sure that I can put a finger on exactly what started to change my mind. I think it’s a whole mix of things – my discomfort with the torture that’s going on, my own fears and anxieties, the pressure just becoming too much from my family, and this relationship. All of this has added up to me breaking in Edgar’s office and…here we are. It’s so new, it’s terrifying. I’m frightened for my life, and I’m frightened for what comes next. But I know it’s the right thing to do. I don’t want to be a Death Eater any more. I’m not entirely sure I want to be in the Order either, but I will do what I must to help stop the Dark Lord.”

Caradoc involuntarily tensed up when he laid eyes on Regulus’s arm. The Dark Mark. He took in a sharp breath — this was a tough pill to swallow. So many things were running through his head. Regulus had met the Dark Lord? Caradoc got nervous even saying the evil man’s name. If the Order found out that he and Regulus were together, if Death Eaters found out . . . It made his stomach twist up in a knot.

But — it was a good sign that Regulus had shown Caradoc this. It meant that Regulus, as far as he could tell, wanted out. He was taking a huge risk here. “Okay,” Caradoc said quietly. He realized he was staring at the mark and averted his eyes, not wanting to make Regulus uncomfortable. “You want to do good. That’s - that’s good-” he felt a bit lame saying that. “-if you want to defect from them, the Order can protect you. I can protect you.” Caradoc felt tears come to his eyes. “I don’t want to lose you.”

He turned his head to the side, still not used to being comfortable with crying in front of others. If his father saw this, he wouldn’t be pleased. Caradoc slumped further against the cushions, a wave of drowsiness hitting him. “This is, um, a side effect of the healing potion I took. Makes people tired and emotional, you know?” He said. It was clearly not true - well, not the emotional part - and a poor excuse for his worries.

TIMOTHÉE CHALAMET AS PAUL ATREIDES Dune: Part Two dir. Denis Villeneuve