Considering Joining A Cult Just To Feel Apart Of Something /j

Daughter of the Moon and Sun

Daughter of the moon and sun.

You need not worry

You need not frown

You carry your fortune in your eyes.

Oceans cannot drag you down,

You are stronger than any storm.

Kinder than any butterfly,

You are graceful, but not yet

immune to life's troubles.

The moon believes in you,

He watches down,

Guarding you.

The Sun will not hinder you.

True to yourself,

Daughter of the moon and sun.

“simply remembering what it feels like to love creatures that aren’t human. A nameless sadness, the fading away of the birds. The fading away of the animals. How lonely it will be here, when it’s just us.”

— Charlotte McConaghy, Migrations

just in case no one told you, you did well this year. you don’t even realize it :( I’m proud of you, you should be proud of yourself too

can someone fucking linger near the door uncomfortably instead of just leaving. can someone fucking forget their scarf in my life & come back later for it. please

let’s just stop time so i can read all my books without real life interfering 

UNTITLED SHORT STORY EXCERPT:

In the distance she saw a warm glow, a sigh escaped her lips. Almost home. The rain picked up, wind pushing it in every direction. Carrie picked up her pace, at least the rain would hide her pit stains.

Almost home.

She could feel herself running clumsily down the slick concrete and puddles. The light was still there but why did it seem so far away? The North Judah street sign was tattered but it was there, she was there.

I lost every friendship I ever had and it still hurts.

1. Finneas O’Connell / 2. Ocean Vuong / 3. adampvrrish / 4. Otessa Moshfegh / 5. Fairycosmos / 6. Richard Siken / 7. frenchtoastlesbian

shoutout to everyone who wants to infodump but cant string together coherent thoughts to form sentences and instead just look at you like this

Untitled Rambles

I feel sick. Again. Not in control. Again.

Shaken, misplaced, irregular

I have all the words ready to spew out from my faucet,

But they won’t come out, not right now,

And not right. Just jumbled word vomit that smells like grief, aching, and anxiety.

My insides feel all torn up.

All messed up.

Just like my mind.

I’m currently trying to find out if I’m even alive.

This stupid ringing in my ear,

This stupid voice in my head,

This stupid way that I look at him.

Pushing my feelings aside. No longer shoving them down his throat, just my fingers that he loves to suck.

My body that he loves to touch.

My body that is hard for me to touch.

Looking around to see others wanting me but I’m not sure if I even want myself anymore.

Cause he used to want me in a way that made my heart fucking flutter. He used to want me in a way that proclaimed love was real.

I promised to put myself first.

I promised to love myself.

I used to put myself first.

I used to love myself more than I loved anyone else.

I met him and fell down a landslide.

Is it me wanting to get pleasure because it’s so easily accessible, or is it me wanting to get pleasure to erase those feelings, to take me to an out-of-body experience, to just make my brain empty and my body full? I want to be loved, and I want to be cared for. By him. But it’s not possible, not right now, perhaps not ever, just not in the way that I love and care for him. So I’m putting myself first. I will be organized, I will be on time, I will take my medication, I will make my bed and do yoga and see friends. I will have sex for pleasure and to fill that void. I believe that love just isn’t on the menu for me right now. Not right now. I know it will come, I vow it too. But I stop my beckoning. I hold off on the searching and the begging. I’m young. It’s about me.