Me Every Time Thanos Looked At One Of My Favs

this has got to be THE funniest sentence ive seen all day im gonna cry

Just One Question: ‘Avengers: Endgame’ Edition

The only theft headcannon involving Miles anyone’s allowed to have is that one time he accidentally “stole” some crayons from Applebee’s and was just so distraught he turned himself in.

Miles, sobbing: “I’m so so sorryy, dad. YooU hh;;avee,, ,to aarrest m.”

Officer Davis: “No, Miles, it’s okay. The restaurant gave you those crayons. Also you’re 5.”

Me when I hunt down the Russo brothers

It’s almost the 4th of July don’t forget to salute America’s Ass!!!!!

me: *in the middle of coming out*

my brain: “i thought you were american”

you've heard of bisexuals now get ready for,

respecting their sexuality

Kneel before me, and rise into the ranks of my great conquest!