Emotionally Unavailable Barney

Emotionally unavailable Barney

Explanation:

( based on a convo with a friend )

Just sort of based on Barney’s behavior throughout HL2, I know it’s a popular headcanon to believe Barney would resent Gordon, but I honestly feel the opposite is true. Barney seems to have a hard time grasping that Gordon is really there, like Gordon’s presence seemed to have set him 20 years in the past, he seems to associate Gordon with good memories from before the res-cas and the combine, he makes constant nostalgic throwbacks and quips about Gordon, it honestly felt like he was dying to rekindle that old friendship. It feels like he’s trying to push out the bad memories, not wanting to acknowledge what actually happened because despite every single throwback he never once mentions the resonance cascade or anything that happened afterwards, it’s all good memories. I think that Gordon (realistically) would need someone to talk to about everything that happened, he never got a moment to really process anything, being constantly on the move, and out of everyone there Barney is kind of the only person that could understand; but with Barney being a resistance leader I feel like he’d gotten used to hiding his feelings and putting up a strong front for the sake of other people, being a leader part of his responsibility is keeping everyone in good spirits, in turn I think he’d have a hard time being vulnerable around others.

This short comic is kind of a play on that, Gordon wanting to talk to Barney about it, just needing some sort of reassurance, and what better way then talking to your old best friend about it? Gordon’s presence making Barney feel like the good ol’ days for a moment, he views Gordon with such a warmth that for a moment he forgets the world sucks.

Before being harshly reminded of the past he’d been pushing so far out his mind in order to be in best spirits during what is the most important mission of his entire life, and trying to shut down any conversation about it in order to not dwell on the past during an extremely stressful and important mission.

I’ve been thinking about freehoun so much if you couldn’t tell.