Pizza Potato. Becuase Hope Is Still The Correct Response To The Miracle Of Dog Consciousness.

bad news, euclid fans! i just disproved his assertation that parallel lines don't intersect for their entire infinite length. i walked along them for approximately 8.6 x 10⁸ km and you know what i found? that's right, a tangle.

they don't touch for the rest of their infinite length though, i did check. in both directions.

I’m at Trader Joe’s and wtf I don’t feel like I belong here…. Only one generic bag of “Mexican cheese blend” no chunk of queso…… I’m scared

Black Friday is such a joke nowadays. “Don’t miss out on 30% off” don’t piss me the fuck off. People used to hit each other over the head for a microwave that’s how low the prices were. People literally died. We used to be a country

see when people try and nitpick me because i call my dog "my dog" when it's technically "the family dog".......well first of all i still call my brother "my brother" and not "the family boy". although maybe that should change. second of all sorry i'm still thinking about the family boy. btw i fell asleep while making this post last night and i think you can tell

mood

My mom yesterday: why do my kids refuse to try new things? You have to have the exact same bra and the same shoes and the same stuffed animal and the same breakfast every morning and the same brand always! Why does it matter?

And I’m sitting here like mom it’s the inherited mental illness. From father.

corn!

Ben Affleck and Matt Damon on Oprah (1998)

my goldfish and acetaminophen snack