♥ Log Of Previous Week ♥

january behind us. every morning for the last week the thrush meets me in the woods to remind me of my vow of tenderness. a vow that's a stone in my pocket, carried everywhere. the little thrush flutters from the thin arms of a black cherry to a low slung oak. the dog leads me to four spots of blood on the leaves. and now the pines to the west burn in the fresh sun and the thrush has left us for the day.

in another universe the sky is always pink and i didn’t leave three people for you and in another one the trees grow downwards with their roots in the air and in another one we meet in the middle of the street at the age of six while chasing after the same butterfly

absolutely losing it at the half visible "you had no fit on"

✨️The beatles incorrect texts ✨️

One of my favourite comment sections under an instagram reel

i thought this was a fish at first. why are they holding a giant sandwich

unstoppable slut meets immovable object or whatever that saying is

throwing up and crying

Paul McCartney, Is this a self-portrait? Oil on canvas, 35.5x28 cm. (1988)

You dissolve into each other. But that’s what we did, round about that time, that’s what we did a lot. And it was amazing. You’re looking into each other’s eyes and you would want to look away, but you wouldn’t, and you could see yourself in the other person. It was a very freaky experience and I was totally blown away…

—Waiting for you is fear. Beneath a blanket of your sleep, in the back of the brain, now and always here. Round and round like a wind from the ground. Deep and deep a world turns in sleep. Waiting for you is fear.

There’s something disturbing about it. You ask yourself, ‘How do you come back from it? How do you then lead a normal life after that?’ And the answer is, you don’t. After that you’ve got to get trepanned or you’ve got to meditate for the rest of your life. You’ve got to make a decision which way you’re going to go.

—If I woke up now, this would go. If I woke up now… and what would follow?

I would walk out into the garden – ‘Oh no, I’ve got to go back in.’ It was very tiring, walking made me very tired, wasted me, always wasted me. But ‘I’ve got to do it, for my well-being.’

—Now you are treading in lonely corridors. Behind glass walls looking inward, girls sit like tears, counting the days, the months, the years, as they move elusively faster and faster. —A way out. I must find the door.

In the meantime John had been sitting around very enigmatically and I had a big vision of him as a king, the absolute Emperor of Eternity. It was a good trip. It was great but I wanted to go to bed after a while.

—There is no way out provided. Each corridor leads into another corridor. —I must find the door. The open door. Life is not like this. Life is birth and death, laughter and pity, farce and tragedy, and always somewhere an open door! —Beat. Beat with your fists on the double-sided, double-faced mirror at the end of all corridors. Has your conscience provided for the anguish surrounding you? Or the hate and hunger? The desire and the despair?

I’d just had enough after about four or five hours. John was quite amazed that it had struck me in that way. John said, ‘Go to bed? You won’t sleep!’ ‘I know that, I’ve still got to go to bed.’ I thought, now that’s enough fun and partying, now… It’s like with drink. That’s enough. That was a lot of fun, now I gotta go and sleep this off. […]

—Deep and deep a world turns in sleep. You are free. You are free from the night’s disgraces, gently to return to the curled worm, the warm dark smelling places of the bud, the heart, the womb. —It was you who first mentioned fear. You who screamed at corruption where I lay curled. You who placarded the headlined world into my suspended cocoon of peace. You.

I mean, I could feel every inch of the house, and John seemed like some sort of emperor in control of it all. It was quite strange. Of course he was just sitting there, very inscrutably. — Paul McCartney, c/o Barry Miles, Many Years From Now. (1997)

—I. Look into my face and tell. What face do you see? —I see myself. The image is no longer divided. Like a mirror, I am you and you are me.

Q: If John Lennon could come back for a day, how would you spend it with him?

PAUL: In bed.

— Paul McCartney for Q: Cash for Questions. (January, 1998)

—In sleep our shadows cling like those of lovers. —As lovers we can shut out the world, not think upon tomorrow, nor think upon our ruthless awakening.

— Daphne Oram and the BBC Radiophonic Workshop - Private Dreams and Public Nightmares. (1957) (extracts)

One of the paintings is called “Is this a self-portrait?” I ask him if it is. “I don’t know. It looks just a bit like me in the Beatles.” I say it also looks like John Lennon. “Uh huh, well hence the title. ‘Is it a self-portrait?’”

Perhaps Lennon was the other great love of his life - but if this was love, it was a tormented, bilious love.

— Paul McCartney, interview w/ Simon Hattenstone for the Guardian: After Linda. (September 11th, 2000)

Listen, I never meant for you not to be in my house. But you couldn’t because you were it.

— John Ashbery, Valentine.

Artem Rohovyi - Symphony of Branches gouache on paper

What do you remember of that other world?

Is "Call me Back Again" by Paul McCartney about John Lennon?

During one Wings live performance's at The Rock Show Wings Over America Tour, in 1976, the band was playing the song "Call me Back Again", and during the performance, McCartney changes the lyrics to the chorus. As what was meant to be "I've called your name, every night since then", was changed to "I've called your name, John, every night since then".

McCartney has made this change of saying "John" not once, but twice (he does it at the Myer Music Bowl, in Melbourne 1975, and he did it again during The Rock Show Wings Over America Tour, in LA 1976). This lyric change is solely featured of live performances of the song, and cannot be found on any official releases.

Him including "John" in the lyrics isn't the sole reason why this song might be about John; The song takes place during McCartney's teenage years (implied from the lyrics; "I was just a little baby boy"), and he talks about conversing with someone on the phone almost every night of his youth. One of the closest people to McCartney during this time would've been John, so he is the only person I could imagine to have been speaking with on a daily basis via telephone or even just conversing in real life.

Now the part that confuses me is when McCartney brings up John "not calling him back", and the lyrics "I've heard your name every night since then", which leads me to think that the song is shifting from McCartney's youth to the moment in which the Beatles had broken up and it's aftermath. "I've heard your name every night since then" can be a reference to the interviews in which Paul was being asked if he and the other three Beatles (or maybe just John) might reunite. Paul's response to that being that John won't respond back to Paul about the offer.

Vincent Benitez (a music theorist) took on this perspective of the song as well, saying: “An Intimate Portrait intersperses a performance of Call Me Back Again with McCartney’s explanation of a short poem he had written at the time about his feelings about the possibility of a Beatles reunion”.

The demo of the song features different lyrics to the official release. Said lyrics being: "Call me back again, Only it's for one time, Come on Call me Back Again".

The demo also includes a lot more of a melancholic and feeling of longing to it, unlike the official release which is very upbeat and jazz-like. I can't think of anyone/anything McCartney would have such a longing for except for John and the relationship they had either in their teenage-hood or their time in the Beatles.