Jason is just a fun lil guy. He loves the thought of fucking around with his brothers like how normal siblings would. Playing extreme tag, making pillow forts, running around in stores with them. He loves the idea. But the bats don't know this because they don't ask. To them, Jason is a big brooding guy who has a moody reputation to keep. Why would he want to do silly little things with them?
So the batkids have all this fun with each other minus Jason, because they don't think he's like that sort of thing, and minus Damian, because he's not interested unless his big brother is there too.
One day, Tim wants to film a TikTok. He goes to Dick, but he's too busy. Dick jokingly says to just ask Jason, and Tim is like: "Yeah, alright." So he does.
Jason: *Reading on the couch in his safehouse*
Tim: *Climbs through window*
Jason:
Tim: "Can you make a TikTok with me?"
Jason, suspicious: "Why me? Don't you usually go to other people for that shit?"
Tim: "Is that a yes or no?"
Jason: "Well, if you want me to.. what is it?"
Tim, pleasantly surprised: "We're going to play rock paper scissors to battle for our food."
Jason: "What-"
Jason and Tim in a weirdly lit, empty parking lot
Tim: "Ok, ok, rock, paper, scissors, shoot" *Rock*
Jason, holding up scissors: "Fuck!" *Starts running like his life depends on it*
Tim: "Haha, ok-" *Starts eating some chicken nuggets* "Hell yeah, these are good."
Jason: "Stop stop stop I'm back-" *Rock*
Tim: *Paper*
Jason, running away: "SHIT!"
The video ends with Jason finally winning a round. He starts to shove as much food in his mouth as he can. Tim trips on his way back and Jason laughs so hard he spits everything out and starts to choke.
Tim goes to Jason to do dumb shit now, and Dick is concerned for the rest of the world, unsuspecting of his brothers' BS.
being mercenaries with mama
i am nooooot locked the fuck in. im locked the fuck out. call the locksmith
You know those posts about one of Bruce’s kids getting kidnapped and him having no idea which kid they have based on the vague descriptions he’s given? Well now I can’t only imagine Bruce getting the dreaded call and immediately pulling out a guess who board filled entirely with his kids. Like
kidnapper: we have one of your children
Bruce: I have so many of those you need to be more specific
kidnapper: the loud and annoying one
Bruce, flipping down Cass and Duke: that does not help as much as you think it does
kidnapper: well he has black hair?
Bruce, flips down Steph: keep going
kidnapper: uhhhh? He’s short?
Bruce, flips down Dick and Jason leaving Tim and Damian: more specific
kidnapper: he’s been condescending and judgmental since we got him
Bruce: yeah they both tend to do that
kidnapper: he keeps throwing around words I don’t understand
Bruce, realizing that Damian and Tim are significantly more similar than he thought: uhh more specific?
kidnapper: more?? look just wore us the mon— WHERE’D HE HIDE A KATANA???
Bruce: ah you have Damian
I think anyone that studies medicine with Damian would lowkey hate his ass.
Not in a mean way, but in a petty why-aren't-you-struggling-like-me type of way. I mean, thanks to Robin and the league Damian is light years ahead of everyone on terms of experience and it would show.
Half the class is puking their guts out the first time they see a patient with an open fracture. Damian has been there, done that, seen that and worse. He's eating m&m's in the back.
They're all practicing making sutures until late. Damian is like "No, I don't need to join you. I could suture with my eyes closed" and then when someone is like "prove it, rich-boy" that mf actually blindfolds his eyes and sutures perfectly using four different techniques.
He also passes everything with flying colors! Because of course, the guy can't just be rich, good looking and famous, he has to be smart too.
And it just gets worse when he starts his actual residency.
Nothing shakes him! Thirty hour shifts? He doesn't even yawn. Extreme stress during a surgery gone awry? Damian is the one telling the other members of the surgical team to stay calm. Violent patient? They don't even get to call security, Damian has the guy pinned already.
And it would be easier to not get jealous of him if he somehow was a souless blood sucking asshole. But Damian is a good person, awkward and standoffish but always willing to help. He's there for whatever people need. He aids nurses, listens to patients, conforts victims. He sits with people for the bad news and when someone dies he gets this sad faraway look that shows he cares.
And it's just so unfair.
pov: you just looked up from flirting with sgt. mactavish for the past half hour in the rec room wyd
here’s the other way i make bruce a grandpa: dick has one
Jason should kill the Joker and just not tell anyone. like, lets be real here, if he were to silently slip in and kill the Joker in his sleep, are any of the workers at Arkham really going to give enough of a shit to say anything??? with the paperwork they’d have to do, and the attention they’d get once the media caught wind of the break in/murder, i bet all Jason would have to do is leave like, a basket of muffins next to the dead body as a thank you and the staff would just dispose of the body and shut the fuck up about it.
i bet you he could get through a solid six to eight month period of being weirdly happy and interactive with the rest of the family before Dick finally asks why he’s been in such a good mood lately over family dinner
Jason, casually: i dunno, i guess i’ve just had a weight lifted from my shoulders; there’s less to drive me away now.
Bruce, thinking he’s finally done something right: aw Jaylad, i’m so happy you’re feeling more comfortable!
Dick, the only batkid around when Jason was Robin, remembering all the times Jason would transform into the happiest kid on the planet only for them to find out a week later it was because he’d pushed a bully down the stairs at school and fractured his wrist: hold on B.
Dick: Jay, what weight has been lifted?
Jason, still nonplussed: well i finally got my GED, and the Joker thing really calmed the lazarus rage. also Steph got me into puppy yoga, we go once a week.
Bruce:
Bruce: what Joker thing.
Jason, glancing up from his food: ? d’i not mention that? he’s dead, man.
Bruce:
Dick:
Dick: sorry, what?
Tim: why the fuck am i never invited to puppy yoga?
Bruce, having a panic attack: y- what are you talking about Jay-
Tim: i would LOVE to go to puppy yoga. what the FUCK?
Jason, shrugging: you can come to puppy yoga, replacement, it’s all good
Bruce: the Joker’s dead?
Tim: FUCK YEAH, PUPPY YOGA
Jason: i think they do it with goats too.
Damian: i would be interested in this activity.
Jason: hell yeah family yoga session
Bruce: JASON PLEASE EXPAND ON THE JOKER THING
Jason: no i don’t like your tone. anyway, dick, puppy yoga?
Dick:
Dick, glancing at Bruce’s glare nervously: …i would be down for puppy yoga
A quick request.
big sister and little brother.
not the bad vibes 😓
tim is so done
no you know what you guys are right. reverse league son reveal. Jason comes back to Gotham and does his crime lord thing before tentatively starting a truce and returning to the batfam and one day Dick asks who Bruce’s favourite child is.
Bruce: i love all three of my sons equally.
Jason, without thinking: three? what about Damian?
Bruce:
Tim: who the fuck is Damian
Jason, freezing:
Jason:
Jason:
Bruce: *carefully* Jay, who is Damian?
Jason: I have to leave.
-
Jason, on the phone with Damian: so i ALMOST blew it-
Damian: ?! BUT I AM NOT READY FOR FATHER TO KNOW ABOUT ME YET-
Jason: shut the fuck up i’m older than you- and i said ALMOST. i told them that Damian was the name of my imaginary twin back when i was a kid and that i’d just gotten muddled up after the resurrection.
Jason: so you’re in the clear but when we finally do introduce you, we’re gonna have to say that Talia let me name you and i named you after my imaginary twin.
Damian:
Damian: Ahki please do not tell them that.
Jason: no im gonna. you called me a twat last week. so im gonna.
Damian: god forbid a boy try to expand his vocabulary
Dick: I just think, maybe, you're wrong.
Duke: Wow Richard, invalidating a young black man during Black History Month!
Dick, confused: Its April
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tim takes the last two cookies for him and Bernard.
Duke, who already had one but wanted one for school: Woooow Timothy, taking from a young black man during Black History Month!!
Tim: Its September!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jason accidently hits Duke a little too hard during a sparing match
Duke, who is completely fine the next second but is in that mood: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW—
Jason: Its fucking November and you're fine!!
Duke, ready to double down: WOW JASON PETER TODD, BEATING DOWN AND THEN INVALIDATING THE EXPERIANCE OF A YOUNG BLACK MAN DURING BLACK HISTORY MONTH!!
equality wins! every one gets deployed
something something your friends howling with laughter when you send “john mactavish — the better john” back to the table he shares with a bunch of wide shouldered sorts with a careless “sorry, i prefer my “johns” with experience” after a cursory up-and-down over his body.
those same friends staring slack-jawed when an absolute bear of a man drops heavily into the seat opposite you with a “heard you like a john with experience, s’that right, sweetheart?”
meanwhile you’re staring at the grey hair in his beard and at his temples with something approaching stars in your eyes
I hc Dick will be non-verbal for a bit when Bruce first adopts him
Nightwing: I wish I was an only child again..
Red Hood: and I wish I was dead again..
Nightwing *looks at him*
Red Hood *preparing to be scolded*
Nightwing:
Red hood:
Nightwing:
Nightwing *quietly*: damn never mind forgot I had more siblings *walks away*
Red Hood:
Red Hood: Was he- were you actually considering killing me-
Dick waking up at 3 a.m. to a phone ringing loudly. The only night off he takes from Nightwing. He couldn't be grumpier.
Dick: What do you want? Money? A check? My soul?
The other end of the line was silent for a few seconds.
Tim: Hiiii to my favorite older brother
Dick: Dfq did you do?
Tim: Ey it's not only me!
Jason: Hi dickie!
Dick remained silent, as he assimilated everything and fought against sleep.
Dick: where do I have to go to look for you?
1 hour later Dick is at the Gotham police station, taking his brothers out while scolding them like never before (mostly for wake him up).
Dick remembered a word to say when people are yelling!! man, I wonder where he learned that...
He does get very upset when he learns it's bad to say,, Bruce isn't mad of course he thinks it's hilarious
*Dick crashes out while on patrol and beats someone within an inch of their life*
Bruce: Dick might be a little bit fragile after last night, so let’s try to be sensitive.
Jason: Oh, believe me- I am going to be nothing but nice to Dick from now on. If he snaps and goes on a rampage, who do you think he’s coming for first?
Bruce: He’s not going on a rampage.
Tim: I bet he’d let me live. He likes me.
Damian: I’m just gonna say it. I never trusted him.
😈 You are not bound by the Hays code.
😈 You are allowed to have evil characters who are not punished by the narrative by the end of the story.
😈 You are allowed to have evil characters who win.
😈 You are allowed to have evil characters who make evil look fun and cool.
😈 You are allowed to make your fun, cool evil character the protagonist.
😈 You are allowed to glorify, romanticize and eroticize evil characters and villainous acts.
😈 You are not obligated to teach your audience a moral lesson.
😈 You are not bound by the Hays code.
😈 You are allowed to have evil characters who are not punished by the narrative by the end of the story.
😈 You are allowed to have evil characters who win.
😈 You are allowed to have evil characters who make evil look fun and cool.
😈 You are allowed to make your fun, cool evil character the protagonist.
😈 You are allowed to glorify, romanticize and eroticize evil characters and villainous acts.
😈 You are not obligated to teach your audience a moral lesson.
people will be like "go to therapy" when they see people engaging w freaky kinks as if a therapist wouldn't sit there, look you straight in the eye, and tell you that there's absolutely nothing wrong with that
Give him back his swords NOW !!
Simon with bit of belly fat, gone were the days of his hard abs and tight skin stretched around,,you got a new cooking book so ofcourse you gotta feed your old man hot and nice, and ofcourse he eats the last crumb of everything you make, and ofcourse his soft roundness makes you crazy in head,, because now riding over his thick cock you could dig your nails in his plumpy skin... it's so hard to roll your hip around and he's thrusting you onto him, your inner thighs cushioned perfectly on his belly —
as promised some braid ghosties! (+ my first exploratory sketches of ghost in the first one ++ the last one a slightly updated version)
pronebone with simon pronebone with simon
laying so comfy on his bed, just whining and whimpering to be fucked. he’s tired, and so are you. but his heart always swells at the look on your face when you’re trying to cum but can’t.
so he’s always so sweet about it. pulling your soaked panties to the side and rubbing against your slit for a little. his big bulky thighs on either side of your legs while he’s jerking of his heavy dick.
using his other hand to spread you open a little and spit down onto that spot that ‘just hurts so bad’. prodding his thick tip into you while cooing at your little mewls and whimpers. he’s so sleepy, so there isn’t much force behind it.
just sliding his cock in and out of your tight cunt almost lazily. his half shut eyes just watching how the sticky wetness soaks the first five inches of him. and he’s usually more vocal, but right now he’s just trying to get you to sleep.
“jus’ calm down little baby . . daddy’s gonna cum soon.” he’s stretching you open so harshly and stuffing your cunt full it feels cozy almost. knowing he’s right there. “he promises.”
sunshine soap zine crashed and burned so here's one of pieces from it! dragon ghost protecting his favorite treasure from the hoard
simon didn't even say anything when you asked, he just complied.
"shh– 's okay, baby," he sushes your cries, hand brushing your cheek but his eyes are glued to where you two are connected. "i'm– shit— i'm halfway in already."
"halfway?!" you whine, and both of you giggle at the notion. well, nobody told you to ask your best friend to fuck you with his huge dick. "hate you, simon," you gasp, all bark and no bite.
he kisses your pouty lips, moaning at the way the movement makes him slip a bit deeper in you. "hm, tha' so, luv?"
no, you don't. he knows it and you know it, it only gets more obvious when he's bottoming out with a thumb on your clit and you're coming around him. he can only coo at you, "fuckin' hell– hate me, ya said?" slowly fucking into you. "don't think–" he's cut off but his own moan, you're still clenching around him as you come down from your orgasm. "don't think so, baby."