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More Posts from B-luish and Others

1 month ago

β€œThe other day, lying in bed, I felt my heart beating for the first time in a long while. I realized how little I live in my body, how much in my mind”

-Rodger kamenetz, from Terra infirma

1 month ago
Jason Molina’s Writing Advice To Matthew J Barnhart Via His Blackberry In 2008Β 

jason molina’s writing advice to matthew j barnhart via his blackberry in 2008Β 

1 month ago

An Ode to 'Everything Everywhere All at Once' by David Gate

The real multiverse is not the other side of a sci-fi story mechanic but it is all the lives we live at once: mother, daughter, partner, business owner, immigrant & citizen of the state who fills out tax forms. Somewhere in the gaps between those lives are the crumpled expectations of the dreams that once animated us. One thing becomes inevitable: all the different versions of ourself must reconcile. That can happen either by floating into the bagel-shaped void or by accepting we live within a life shaped by the consequences of all our decisions β€” everything, everywhere, all at once. We can feel crushed by the outcomes from a life’s worth of decisions weighing upon us, but they are not as heavy as the weight of the choices that we now face. Who am I going to be? What shall I become? I know who I wanted to be and that didn’t happen. But I don’t have to be stuck here. I can still disrupt the pattern. I can say sorry. I can name the desires unfulfilled. I can cherish what I have. I can forgive myself β€” a million different versions of myself β€” a million times over.
1 month ago
Safia Elhillo, From Spring

Safia Elhillo, from Spring

1 month ago
New York Times, The One Who Got Away
New York Times, The One Who Got Away
New York Times, The One Who Got Away
New York Times, The One Who Got Away
New York Times, The One Who Got Away
New York Times, The One Who Got Away
New York Times, The One Who Got Away
New York Times, The One Who Got Away

New York Times, The One Who Got Away

1 month ago
In the un-story
of my life
I am three years old
and my father
lifts me
into the air

and then catches
me again and again,
pulling me into him.
Or

I am thirteen
years old and my father
sits on the porch
with his arm around

me and says yes, yes,
look, everything
will be fine, I’m here.
In the un-story
he has his ties
and pressed shirts
hanging in
the closet next to

my mother’s blouses.
The smell of his

cologne washes over
everything like a pot roast
roasting all
Sunday. But in the story
of my life my father’s
sons have to

call him again
and again and again
and again
like small children

hitting a drum
they can’t stop hitting.
They have to beg
for his attention,
and one even dies,
in his way, for him,
and like life, is buried
without him.

In the story
of my life I inherit
the fathers
of other kids, other
sons. How lucky
am I?

Fathers with names
like Joseph,
Yosef, Josiah, Yasef,
meaning he will add.
Meaning he will
lift you up and catch you.
Meaning he will
sit with you, and your
sorrow will be his
too. Fathers with names

like Ernie, Ernest, Ernesto,
ArnoΕ‘t, meaning kindness.
Meaning he will walk
among the lepers
of your actions
and listen to them.

Meaning he will not fail you
even as you fail yourself.
Right now dusk is moving
around the house

like a bad babysitter
waiting for her boyfriend
to come over, re-applying
her eyeliner. Outside
some coyotes are lighting
up the air like teenagers.
Meanwhile in the story
of my life

I lift my three-
year-old up into the air

and then catch
him but also catch

myself. In the story of
my life I put
my arm around
my thirteen-year-old
But also around
myself. When I feed
them I feed
myself. When I cool
a fevered forehead
with a cold

rag I cool my own
anger. When I leave
I also return to them
and return

to myself. I know
there are

really three children
in the story of my life.
I must make a home
for each of them.

father by Matthew Dickman

1 month ago

β€œYou can run, run, run away from a lot of things in life, but you can’t run away from yourself. And the key to happiness is to understand and accept who you are.”

β€” Dale Archer

1 month ago

bitch this is all you’re gonna get. this life, this face, this body. you better not β€˜maybe in another universe’ your way out of everything. sit your ass down and face this. go make tea and have a picnic and read a goddamn book. kiss your loved ones, send that damn text, and hug your siblings. this is all you’re gonna get.

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b-luish - you've got to believe in the poetry
you've got to believe in the poetry

because everything else in your life will fail you, including yourself

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