Aight I Get It Homestuck, You Still Own My Ass.

aight i get it homestuck, you still own my ass.

Anonymously tell me what the fuck is wrong w me

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azuredgalaxies

5 years ago

IkeRev: Jonah Clemence Route Review [SPOILERS]

When I first encountered Jonah in his prologue, I hated him. He was such a little shit: rude af, unwilling to listen to MC, and the way the artists colored in his cheeks made him look like a little kid, to boot!

…That said, if you’re reading IkeRev and haven’t yet, try giving his route a chance. As MC puts it, “Jonah has a lot of good points - they’re just kind of hard to find!” :)

Let’s start from the beginning. Shortly into Jonah’s route, he comes up with a “foolproof” plan to ensure that MC will help advance the glorious Red Army’s cause. He’s so sure that the plan will work, in fact, that he discloses all of it to MC (the enemy): “I will capture your heart. And I will train you to follow me and the Red Army until that is what you yourself desire”. His strategy is to woo MC with a series of mandatory dates, because what’s more romantic than being bossed around by an arrogant jolly rancher?

Interestingly, the Black Army’s also a fan this development, if only because it buys them some time to deal with the inexorable Red Army and its magic. And so, Jonah and MC’s dates begin. At first he tries to ply MC with shopping and finery, but MC’s having none of it, to his utter bafflement (and my delight) (“You turned down all of my amazing presents. What is wrong with you? You’re not reacting the right way”). The two of them do ultimately find common ground… over food. Sweets, to be more specific. These are my kind of people.

Over the course of about five or six dates, Jonah’s wish comes true, and MC does indeed start falling for him. Even though he’s, in her words, “domineering, contrary, and selfish” (but never insulting). Even though he’s particular and kind of vain. Even though, in one super irksome scene, he half-heartedly announces his intention to assault MC (!!). Long story short, he didn’t want to, but thought he had to, to satisfy King Lancelot. I’m not happy about this scene, but Jonah’s only saving grace is that it was highly OOC and he broke character very quickly, I guess. Also, MC was suitably angry over the whole thing. Still, ugh.

In any case, unnecessary fake assault scenes aside, what MC does fall for: Jonah’s adorable and deeply caring personality, hidden poorly behind a paper thin mask of aloofness (he rushes to enemy Black Army quarters the second he hears she might be sick). His strong sense of justice: elitism aside, at least he believes that nobility/Red Army has a duty to protect the innocent. His sad backstory (see: Episode 20). I’m usually very meh over the internal monologues as various MC’s discover their feelings towards the LI, but MC’s self-revelation is pretty amazing:

It was actually some time ago that I first noticed—this feeling that the sweet batter of a cake had been placed in the oven of my heart. As heat was slowly applied, the cake had risen and begun to give off a delicious scent. It had been baked to a perfect golden brown and all that was left to do was take it out of the oven and eat it. But this was the one cake that I could not eat. No matter how delicious it would be, I couldn’t let myself indulge.

The writers don’t spend too much time having MC angst over her newfound secret feelings towards Jonah, thank goodness. Instead, unlike with Ray’s route, plot hits Jonah’s story bright and early, after she and Jonah are attacked en route to a Red-Black meeting by magic cultists! We learn that Lance has been working hand in hand with the evil mastermind behind all this (!!!), and after he Imperio’s MC, everything goes to hell in a handbasket almost instantly. Jonah and MC end up on the run from everyone, Red and Black alike, and this is when the route really starts to shine.

Because past this point, Jonah doesn’t really even bother hiding his own feelings for MC too well (“Even if the whole world turns against you, I will believe you until to bitter end. I promise I will save you”). We get to enjoy almost a third of a route’s worth of some A+ romance mixed in with (relatively low-stakes) adventure/tension, which is great cos I feel like it’s not all that common with Cybird! And when MC jumps the gun and actually confesses her feelings to him first, his reaction is pure gold (“I’ll never forgive you. Once this is all finished, I’ll get you back a million times over!”). I had no idea a kiss could be angry and cute at the same time, hahaha.

At the end of the day, excluding the crappy faux-rapey scene (which I really disliked, can you tell?), this route was super fun. Although Jonah’s fabulous/upbeat/snarky personality isn’t exactly ideal romance fodder for me, it makes for great reading. He and MC have excellent banter. I also enjoyed their interactions with the other characters. Highlight: poor Jonah, the loving big bro, getting rejected by Luka “rebellious” younger bro again and again. ^_^

Plot wise, this route does get really sad at one point, but otherwise, it’s a glorious fluff fest, even with all the drama/adventure. As with Ray’s route, I do feel like the final conflict resolved itself a little too simply (also there’s a plot-hole regarding why magic crystals need to be destroyed), but unlike with Ray’s route, at least MC and Jonah’s happy ending felt earned after all that went on beforehand! The pacing for this route was great, and, weird as this sounds, extremely well suited for the mobile 5-chapters-per-day freemium format. There wasn’t a single episode that was boring. Overall, if you like fun and fluff, you’ll probably enjoy Jonah’s route quite a bit!

Choice quotes

“Common opinion is that one should lay the mille-feuille on its side when eating it, but I disagree. Letting the strawberry or whipped cream touch the plate goes against all aesthetic sense.” “How could loving someone ever be wrong? Even if it is emotionally taxing.” “I didn’t know you were hiding that formidable elbow-strike up your sleeve. You’re the toughest woman I know!”

Personality: 9/10. This kid, is2g. He might not have much in terms of raw sex appeal, cute, fabulous, sweets-loving personality is a joy to read. And every time he tries to lie, it’s hilarious.

Appearance: 5.5/10. His face looks really young to me! Too young. The CG’s aren’t bad, though, and I definitely dig the fancy hair.

MC: 9/10. MC is proactive, sassy, and fun. Her dynamic with Jonah is great, and overall, I liked her a lot.

Plot/Payoff: 8/10. To set expectations, Jonah’s story is fairly simple and un-nuanced. But otome isn’t exactly the place to turn to for high literature, anyway. The pacing is great, and his story really suits the daily episodic format.

Personal enjoyment: 9/10. Generally speaking a fun, fluffy, and exciting read!

Masterlist

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