Call me Billie | 30s | Pronouns: w/e is funnier (brother in Christ works) | AO3 Account | Hype List | Tag List
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Latest Posts by awholelottayeehaw - Page 5
Sea shanty about a crew disappearing at sea but as it’s sung fewer and fewer people are singing until it’s just one person left.
"Haha, of course there's a teacher shortage, they're all learning their worth and quitting! Good for them!"
A quick Google search for "teacher covid deaths" turns up pages and pages and pages of articles about dead teachers.
They're not quitting. They're dying.
ayo i found 2 pages with head angles of humans and animals, could be useful to anyone reading this
hoomans
animals
Today is one of my best friends' wedding day and I'm taking bets on how long it'll take before I fist fight the Man of Honor.
Also, our morning so far has consisted of:
aggressively thawing chicken we promised to cook for the reception since it's a DIY wedding (friend and their fiance do not have contact with their family whatsoever)
Wondering why my banana pudding didn't solidify overnight
Making enough trips to the local Walmart to consider just working there part-time
Setting off the smoke alarm in our AirBnB making breakfast cause it's a 140-year-old victorian house
Having to take turns standing under the smoke alarm to use a towel to bat away the smoke and heat like it's some sort of stuck-up princess that can't handle anything other than a perfect 70-degree F day
Lemme know how much you wanna bet on me maybe getting a fist fight with the MOH if I lose I'll write you a fic or draw you a picture for your fic.
Are you over the age of 18??
Do you like The Mandalorian, Book of Boba Fett, Starwars, Moonknight, Pedro Pascal movies, Our Flag Means Death, Taika Waititi, Oscar Issac, or any combination of those and more???
Do you love SMUT?!
If you said YES MAMA to all of the above questions, you should come check out Madam Garsa's Smut Sanctuary! Share your favorite art and fic with other amazingly filthy creators!
-If I can't confirm you're over 18, or you turn out to be a minor, you will be removed from the server. All new members must agree to the #rules before being allowed to enter the main server channels.
people who discover a fic and leave a comment on every chapter as they read it are the unsung heroes of our era.
It’s weird to me how many places I’ve been/worked that have a strict ban on peanut products for allergen risks, even when no one there has a peanut allergy—yet imposes no restrictions for allergies that employees actively do have. Like you can’t have a peanut butter candy bar anywhere on the premises despite no one there being sensitive to it, but you CAN store your shellfish tree nut products in the staff fridge next to the lunch of the employee with a deathly allergy…
home by the sea.. .
been seeing a lot of this lately and all i gotta say is what the fuck
UNFRIENDLY REMINDER.
that fic writer you love so much? spam them with love. talk about their writing to them. give them compliments and talk about where you thought the story was going. TALK ABOUT HOW GREAT THIER CONTENT AND WRITING IS. TALK TO THEM. TALK TO YOUR FRIENDS. HELL, TALK TO ANYONE ON YOUR DASH WHO WILL LISTEN.
BOOST THE HELL OUT OF THEIR CONTENT IF YOU LOVE IT.
we should support the art we love, in wHATever form.
REBLOG IF ITS OKAY TO TALK TO YOU.
Please.
Shout out to fanfic writers who write their favourite characters into incredibly specific niches like complex academic studies or horse taming or the intricacies of the fashion industry or historical politics just because they love it. I do in fact want to learn about your niche interests disguised as fanfiction, thank you
Where the Sky Met the Sea - Chapter 1: Sleep on the Floor
Series Masterlist | Cross-Published on AO3
Pairing: Sugar Daddy!Ezra (from the 2018 movie Prospect) x F!Reader
Summary: Returning from the Green Moon with more wealth than he could ever fathom, Ezra expected life to be as rich as his bank account now was. Instead, he and his adopted daughter, Cee, struggles with the crippling loneliness that comes with people only wanting to know you for your money.
Desperate to find a genuine place to call home, Ezra drags himself and Cee across the galaxy until they stumble upon a small planet and settle into a quaint seaside town that honors tradition and hard work in a way that feels almost primitive, but welcome after being suffocated by robotic tech.
Expecting the same monotony he had experienced on other planets, Ezra is shocked to find the town and its people have secrets as deep and dark as the sea and the cure to his loneliness may be found in the town's struggling bookshop owner.
Warnings: mild sexual content, mild violence.
Chapter Rating: T
Word count: 2,722
"Pack yourself a toothbrush, dear, Pack yourself a favorite blouse. Take a withdrawal slip, Take all of your savings out. 'Cause if we don't leave this town We might never make it out."
- Sleep on the Floor by The Lumineers
When they had returned from the Green with more Aurelac gems than they imagined possible, Ezra had expected a rich life filled with opportunities and comforts he had only ever read of in his stories. He could get a new arm, and he could buy a house for himself and Cee. Hell, he could send her to school if it was what she wished.
When they returned to The Pug and turned in their haul, Ezra had expected enough money to not have to worry about work for a good while. But he hadn’t expected the gems to gift them riches so deep he and Cee couldn’t see the bottom of their new prosperous well. Not only would he and Cee not have to work for a while, but they’d also never have to work or worry about anything ever again.
Bringing home one Auerlac was impressive, but bringing back as many as he and Cee had was unheard of. So he wasn’t surprised when word got out that the one armed man and his “daughter” struck it rich. He wasn’t expecting himself and Cee to be celebrated, perhaps a moment of intensity that would die out when the next soul brought back their own wealth and life would move on.
But he had been wrong.
Ezra should have picked up on something being wrong when he was fitted with the latest prosthetic to replace his arm. The nurses and technicians hadn’t been the warmest, but he had caught enough wandering side eyes and hushed whispers to feel unease. An unease that didn’t leave him even after he had left.
It was Cee who pointed out that they were often the center of attention wherever they went, regardless of what they were doing. It had been the same as it was when Ezra got his new arm, with side eyes watching their every move and vocal conversations suddenly hushing when they enter a room.
But unlike the techs and nurses, when Ezra lifted his head to catch the stares and stillness, the patrons would be back to focusing on the person their with or what they’re doing. It was only when he returned his focus to Cee or his food that he noticed the people around them going back to staring and whispering that he could only see in his peripherals, but never straight on.
Ezra did end up buying himself and Cee a house like he had originally planned. It was the nicest condo he had ever seen let alone lived in, and he spared no expense to get the best quality furniture for himself and the girl. They had a gorgeous view of the city with floor to ceiling windows and the best security they could buy. But that didn’t stop the harassment or the unbridled desire the public had out for them.
He had been thrilled when Cee had made friends, going out often as teenage girls do. And Ezra kept busy buying art he had always wanted but never could afford, along with finding and collecting the rarest books he never knew existed. And when he got lonely and Cee was unavailable for their family movie nights, Ezra went to the classiest bars and restaurants and indulged himself in the finest wine and whatever company caught his eye.
The first instance Ezra realized things hadn’t died down for him and Cee was when the girl came home crying one day. He had tried to get answers from her, but she only shook her head and locked herself in her room. She’d only come out to eat and join him for their family movie nights, but she kept to the other side of the couch, eyes sunken in as if she hadn’t slept properly in days.
The second instance was when Ezra made the mistake of bringing home a date after what he considered a wonderful night out. Dinner at the lake, dancing under the stars, sipping wine while listening to a live band play… It was only logical to bring an exquisite woman like her back for an appropriate finale.
Ezra had fucked her passionately, his tongue and teeth leaving no patch of skin left unloved. But he had woken up sometime in the night to find her rummaging through his things, unashamed of the mess she made while silently tearing apart his room for Kevva knows what.
Ezra had kicked her out with what she came with (and nothing more), but despite nipping the problem in the bud he still felt restless. As if sensing his unease, Cee left her room and they both in silence agreement sat on the couch to watch movies until the sun peeked over the horizon. He never said it out loud, and he knew he didn’t have to, but he was grateful for Cee’s 6th sense in knowing when he needed company.
What he thought was one bad date turned into numerous more. If his dates weren’t trying to pick his pockets while he slept after a passionate night, they would verbally degrade him for declining them every one of their whims whether it was bottles of the most expensive liquor or item on the menu.
It wasn’t that Ezra was cheap, he was happy to spend his money on the finest things available for the finest company, but he noticed a pattern where his dates and one night stands would only focus on the most expensive things available. Him declining was a test to their temperament and intentions. One that each and every one of them failed.
At first he hadn’t planned on telling Cee any of this, not wanting to worry her. But it became too much too soon and he realized this impacted her as well regardless if he liked it or not. He told her as much as he felt was appropriate, and it was then that Cee opened up about her own reclusive behaviors.
The girls she befriended had ended up like the people he dated and slept with. Warm and comforting until they didn’t get what they wanted. And when Cee explained to them that she was only sixteen and wasn’t comfortable with buying anything expensive without her “father’s” permission, they lashed out. They had isolated her and turned her into a modern day pariah, unable to go anywhere without being rejected by businesses or potential friendships.
The final straw was when someone tried to break into their condo.
It had been the middle of the night and the alarms had startled him out of a deep sleep. Ezra barely registered Cee running into his room and throwing herself into his bed, clinging to him with tears streaking down her face. The water leaking from her eyes and the panic on her face was enough to sober him into action.
The security protocol blared and then eerily shut off without Ezra turning it off himself. He had barely made it to the door to initiate the emergency locking system himself when he heard the sound of gunshots go off, ricocheting off the door. He had called the police and was shocked when they brushed him off. No one was sent out, and no one bothered to check in on them. Even when he told them he had a teenage daughter, even when he said he had a child. It wasn’t enough.
Ezra initiated the lock screens over the windows, bullet proof sheets that kept the city lights out. Even in the armored shell he put himself and Cee in, he still felt unsafe. And he felt like an absolute failure to not have nipped this in the bud sooner.
He and Cee rearranged the furniture and had the couch facing the front door. They sat on it, Ezra armed with his rifle, Cee tucked into his side and holding her knees to her chest. She had grabbed a knife from the kitchen and her knuckles turned white from gripping it so hard. But Ezra didn’t have it in him to take it away from her or tell her to ease up. He didn’t blame her.
They sat like that all night, unblinkingly staring at the door for a threat that never resurfaced. But they weren’t going to test their luck. The moment the morning light stretched across the sky, they were gone.
Ezra and Cee packed everything they could into their bags and left, unbothered with what they left behind. Ezra left the keys on the coffee table and the door wide open, an invitation to whoever wanted to live there could do so for free. Furniture and all.
When they made it to the docking port, the city started to stir awake and Ezra bought the first pod that was offered to them. A glorified space mini-van with enough room for the both of them without being smothered by the other’s presence, but small enough to go mostly unnoticed.
The moment the paperwork was signed and he was given the keys, Ezra and Cee took off to the stars and left the misery they experienced on The Pug behind. They had found their way to Central, close enough to fly to without a lot of stress or resources, but far enough to where their reputation and spoils couldn’t follow them.
But buying a condo on Central, furnishing it, and going about their lives as if what happened on The Pug never happened felt… not wrong, but not right, either. It was too familiar, a beautiful love letter to Deja Vu if Ezra ever read one.
It wasn’t too long after they had made themselves comfortable and dropped their guards did the horrors of The Pug begin to repeat themselves in their new home. Friendships gone sour, dates gone bad, side eyed stares turning into ogling unabashedly. Ezra didn’t fuck around, he bought the best security and the moment it was threatened he and Cee packed what they could, sold their old pod, bought another, and were gone before the sun peered over the horizon.
It was like that with The Ephrate, every habitable planet they landed on being as hostile as the last. They had stopped fully moving in to their abodes, sleeping on bare mattresses and living off of half assed furniture. There were many nights wide awake, waiting for the shoe to drop. Days and weeks dragged by where they anxiously waited to see if the spirits of their wealth would find them and continue to haunt them in their new homes.
After the 6th planet in less than a year, and with Cee nearly getting stabbed and robbed, Ezra was done. Mentally, emotionally, and physically. He had Cee pack one last time and they escaped into the night even before first light.
When they reached the port, Ezra stopped Cee from going to their pod and shook his head.
“Let it burn, Birdie. There’s nothing left for us there."
Cee didn’t fight it. They took what they could from the pod and then dropped the keys. Cee used a lipstick she had to write “FREE TO WHOEVER” along the side and as big as she physically could.
When she was done, Ezra snuck her through the port, blending in with the shadows until they stood before a small Long-Haul Space Freighter intended to carry supplies and very little crew.
Ezra checked a port monitor and was thankful that the ship was going to a planet he had never heard of, one so far it was almost in Wild Space. The shipments told him there was at least some sort of population, but as to how many people or the climate, Ezra could only guess. But it was their last hope to finally find the peace Ezra had longed for him and his adopted daughter after a year of absolute agony.
They made themselves comfortable in the hull and waited. They held their breath when they heard activity in the port and sighed in relief when the haul was shut tight and pressed into one another when the ship took off. Hands clasped together, Ezra’s head on Cee’s, they waited to see if the hull would pressurize with air or if they’d have little to no oxygen on their trip to the unknown. A sad but poetic end to the life they had briefly lived.
But the hull did pressurize and Ezra and Cee could finally collapse into themselves with relief, giddy to have escaped the horrors behind them, but equally unsure of what awaited them.
The trip took about two weeks, and Ezra and Cee lived off of their own rations until they had to steal from one of the boxes to survive. They took turns sleeping, and waited until the ship was in night mode before sneaking off to use the bathroom and freshen up. It reminded Ezra of the hardships they had endured on the Green, but more glamours with the food they found and the lack of suits needed to breathe.
When they felt the ship descend into the planet’s atmosphere, Ezra couldn’t deny the way his heart sped up. It was akin to the time he had his first crush, that hopeful excitement of something new. Something good. But something equally terrifying and unknown.
They didn’t bother to wait for the crew to unpack to sneak off the ship. They stood proudly at the entrance as the ramp descended to momentarily blind them with the planet’s sun. But when they blinked away the sensitivity forced upon their eyes, neither could stop themselves from staring with their mouths ajar.
The planet’s name was Ecyria, if Ezra remembered correctly. It was big enough to be considered a planet but small enough to be the wallpaper of planets, overlooked and under appreciated by those exploring Wild Space. And it was nothing they had ever seen before.
Before them was a never ending ocean where the horizon bled into the sea with a sunset made of vivid shades of reds, oranges, and pinks. The port was open air, small enough to have only a handful of mid-sized ships, if that.
There was only one path leading to and from the port and it snaked down over rolling green hills to a village made of stone and wood, surrounded by green trees and sat on top of a cliff overlooking the water’s edge where wooden docks could be seen for old sailing ships that looked straight from one of Ezra’s novels. The whole village did.
“Ez…” Cee breathed, unable to tear her eyes away.
“I know, Birdie. I know.” Ezra said with an equal amount of awe in his voice.
Without looking, they found each other’s hands and held them tightly, looking out at their new home as crew from the ship and crew from the planet worked around them, giving them odd looks. But not with the same hostility they grew accustomed used to.
This was a planet that embraced modern technology but cradled old traditions and way of life that felt so primitive compared to what Ezra and Cee had lived through all their lives. A way of life that felt forgotten, but was still greatly appreciated by the two space travelers and clearly those local to the planet.
Somewhere nearby, Cee could smell freshly baked pastries, and as the day died before them and night took its place, Ezra could hear the sound of live music followed by singing and laughter.
The village came to life, windows glowing warm and welcoming and old lamps turning a flame on by themselves with modern technology to light the path from the port to the village. The trees in the village sparkled to life and shimmered much like the infinite stars that shine down on them clear as day. Ezra could stare at the expanse of space for all eternity, caught up in supernovas and shooting stars and galaxies he didn’t know could be so beautiful.
But Cee, as usual, was his anchor. She tugged on his hand, bringing him back down from the stars, and he let her lead them to their new home with hope in their hearts for the first time. It was only a matter of time before they could know for sure if this would be a safe haven or just another nail in their coffins, but for now, live music and fresh food awaited them and for the first time in far too long, they were home.
Next Chapter: Coming soon!
Y'all gotta grow up someday. Congrats, you are now an adult.
Stumbles out of google docs covered in blood
@prolix-yuy
This, but also: Stumbles out of google docs with new kinks I'm down to explore.
Stumbles out of google docs covered in blood
This, but also: stumbles out of google docs with newfound daddy AND mommy issues
Stumbles out of google docs covered in blood
Stumbles out of google docs with newfound daddy issues
Stumbles out of google docs covered in blood
I hate it when you’re reading smut and you can’t figure out what position they’re in.
what emotion do you guys write from? like sikens is panic. mary olivers hope. what is yours?
Both times I hit randomize I was called out. Just change the "great-aunt" to "great-uncle" and both are pretty spot on for me already.
For anyone who’s ever wondered who they’d be in a 19th century novel
The wait is over: 19th Century Character Trope Generator
I'm "Meddlesome Bachelor with 2,000 pounds a year" yes please sign me up
Getting these done at least a month in advance cause I know my tired ass during the school year might be too tired to fully participate during the month.
KINKTOBER 2022
HELLO EVERYONE!!!
It's that time of year again!! Kinktober is back, and by popular demand, I have created a new list for this year with some new options that last year didn't have.
For each day, there are two options, giving you optimal comfort level of creating! Or you can try something else and challenge yourself!
The image with the list, as well as a text version, is below the cut! I’ve also included a themed header if you’d like to post that along with your creations!
I’m so excited to see what you come up with! Any fandom! Any characters! Any creations!
Please tag my account (@the-purity-pen) and #tppkinktober2021 in your creations so I can see!
My only stipulation is to PLEASE be over the age of 18 in order to create for this event. Any minors participating and tagging me, will be blocked.
69 // Dirty Talk
A/B/O // Floor Sex
Anal // Glove Kink
Breath Play // Missionary
Breeding // Leather/Latex
Cockwarming // Morning Sex
Costumes // Sex Toys
Creampie // Voice Kink
Double Penetration // Stripping
Drunk Sex // Spanking
Erotic Photos // Rimming
Exhibitionism/Voyeurism // Hate/Angry Sex
Face Sitting/Fucking // Dry Humping
Fisting // Love Bites/Marks
Group Sex // Overstimulation
Bath/Shower Sex // Intercrural Sex
Licking // Pegging
Bondage // Lingerie
Boot Worship // Masturbation
Dirty Dancing // Mirror Sex
Nipple Play // Praise Kink
Object Insertion // Phone Sex
Food Play // Orgasm Denial
Outdoor Sex // Tender Sex
Pet Play // Sex Pollen
Sexting // Wax Play
Sensory Deprivation // Stockings
Formal Wear // Strap-Ons
Body Worship // Table Sex
Public Sex // Temperature Play
FREE CHOICE
While I'm writing my other planned fics <3
I wish you would write a fic where...
Send me an anymous (or not) summary of the fic you wish I would write. (maybe I will write a tidbit)
a natural disaster happens in appalachia. i casually go on twitter. ppl are saying those in red states “deserve” bad things with no care for nuance or the fact that most of those people are incredibly misinformed and miseducated about governmental issues. one of my great aunts is staying in a dollar store and my family is being evacuated from their homes, hopefully to safe places. i hate it here.