We Lay Here For Years Or For Hours Your Hand In My Hand, So Still And Discreet So Long, We'd Become The

a soapghost comic i never finished (i wanted angry bloodied soap)

update: i am continuing it 1/1/2024 16/1/2024: i'm remembering why this took so bloody long (pun intended)

ways to dramatically log back in to hermitcraft after an extended hiatus:

the BdoubleO: spend a week screaming and falling into other hermits' videos to foreshadow your dramatic return

the Keralis: edit a clip from one of your last episodes of season two and then make it seem as if you walked through a nether portal four seasons in the future

the welsknight: snooze in your season six cathedral whilst cub and scar do a magical crystal double act to send cub back in time to retrieve you to the modern day

the ethoslab: get sent to naughty boy, late to the season exile to do hermitcraft catch-up sessions

the mumbo jumbo: log in to your adoring and crying fans rushing to welcome you home (grian and iskall)

the tangotek: bid a dramatic goodbye to the modded villagers that you coded, as they cry and line the way to the nether portal that will lead you back to hermitcraft (someone's gotta go build boombox, after all)

the Docm77: 5 minutes of getting put on blast irl by your wife about your new obsession with tomatoes, before the giant goat statue you built escapes Minecraft to possess you with the endless yearning for the mines, causing you to dramatically exchange hats

the vintagebeef: log in like normal, etho is here. play minecraft with etho :))

the hypnotizd: you're in a branch mine. don't ask questions

Can I... talk about the theory that winners help craft the next game?

Because, and I really can not say this enough, it puts So Much into perspective.

Everything starts out Normal. Three lives, simple, cut and dry, there hasn't been a winner yet. No one to help craft the game. (And there's something to be said about how simple it really was. Not even a real expectation of the world becoming pvp or combative. No idea of the war to come)

Then Grian wins. The green killer, the man who vowed his first life to the one whose life he took. The next game the boogie man is born. A mechanic that allows and, in fact, demands, a green kill. People can trade lives back and forth, currency and debt wrapped up in one. (can we still be friends? Said the red partner. A life time later and reds are hostile, alone. Maybe it's an answer: No. Not anymore)

Scott wins this time. He refuses to play the game. He will not kill his team, he will love and he will do so fiercely and with all of himself. The next game people are attached through to their very souls. Every bit of damage to one soul is done to its twin. There is no boogeyman. (There is no way for a widow to be left without their love)

Pearl wins and she wins a blood bath. Spent the game draped in red, only wolves for company. Sitting in her tower, shivering in ice, maybe she wanted it to end. To see where it would. Limited life rewards you for killing, limited life has a clock tick tick ticking down, you always no how long you have. A curse yes, but a blessing too.

Now It's Martyn's turn.

And what a turn it is.

Keep your secrets, says the disloyal man, keep them well. Everything hurts, everything Matters, says the man fracturing with every loss. (What if we could love each other without hurting? Says The Hand, who never wanted to be coated in blood)

More importantly, Martyn has always seen the watchers below the surface. Now, they're right here in front of him. Something that could almost... be rebelled against, no? Something that someone else could finally point to and say: hey, hey isn't that familiar?

hermits as professors

made by my friend and i, just based on vibes

bdubs: architecture

beef: business, he's the nicest prof you'll ever meet

cub: corporate business but he unofficially teaches tax evasion in all of his classes

cleo: sculpting

doc: robotics, everyone is scared of his reputation until they take a class with him

etho: redstone but only 400/500 level classes, he's that one cryptid professor

false: self defense

gem: interior design, but she's also the advisor for the fencing club

grian: chaos theory

hypno: website design

impulse: industrial engineering

iskall: game dev and comp sci

jevin: medieval history but also the advisor for all the tcg clubs

joe: philosophy and/or literature

keralis: comedy (and city planning?)

mumbo: redstone or cinematography

pearl: organization

ren: theatre

scar: entrepreneurship, but teaches landscape design as well

stress: education and fictional lit

tango: game dev

tfc: geology/geoengineering

wels: modern history, you walk into class and think he's going to be Standard Midwest Guy and then he turns around and has a rap battle with himself and is super chill

xb: ancient history

xisuma: management/org leadership (the joke among profs is that he's such a derp)

zedaph: the advisor for 20 different ridiculous clubs, nobody knows where he came from or what he teaches

put that knife down peepaw PUT THAT KNIFE DOWN-

This file is named “Destruction BREAKDOWN” because of me. It’s me. I’m having the breakdown

behold

cody!

Gaz!

What if there was a mission where they had to be in a suit

+ Nik

hey sorry we put your boyfriend on a show where the game changes every time. yeah he has no idea what game he’s about to play. but he’ll be fine once he realizes the only way to win is by learning, the only way to learn is by playing, and the only way to begin is by beginning. yeah actually we’ll be beginning without further ado but you can pick him up after. sorry again.