Dennis Fast 

Existing is bonkers bc my parents fucked one day, I was born, and now I have to do taxes

i love paying for education

Tomorrow when the farm boys find this freak of nature, they will wrap his body in newspaper and carry him to the museum.

But tonight he is alive and in the north field with his mother. It is a perfect summer evening: the moon rising over the orchard, the wind in the grass. And as he stares into the sky, there are twice as many stars as usual.

I’m joining the war on Christmas on the side of autism

when i was 10 i thought this was the most amazing picture in the world i thought it was so beautiful and well drawn and incredible and i think i got yelled at for making it the desktop wallpaper on my familys shared computer

“Thanks Hank you really taught me a lot about propane and propane accessories!”

"And I tell you hwat, young man. I don't think I know hwat a 'heart of the cards' is, but I know for certain you've got the heart of a Texan."

whoever invented the cover letter got absolutely no pussy

under quarantine? try crochet

always wanted to learn how to crochet a hat or a sock but never had the time? now you do! crocheting is super easy once you get the hang of it and is super addicting and fun! its a fun thing to do with your hands while listening to a podcast, watching a tv show, or even listening to music! its also a good way to make handmade gifts for friends or family while passing the time!

i def recommend watching the videos before attempting to follow along just to make sure you have an idea of what to expect!

how to pick out yarn and needles: video | written guide

how to: begin (video), do a single row (video), how to make more complicated stitches (video), magic circle (video) and how to increase the magic circle (video)

basic patterns for clothing: beanie using only a chain stitch (video) (video), simple socks (video) (video), basic blanket (video) (video) (girdle stitch blanket) (tunisian stitch blanket), sweater (video)(video)

how to make a pompom (cats LOVE these) 

fun things (may require some beads or different colored yarn): flower , heart , octopus , cat , whale , dog and cat , houseplant , cactus , bunny

useful things: kitchen scrubber , bath poof , house slippers

I'm cat sitting and the cat killed my computer help what do