Season 3 Episode 7 In Which A Quadruple Amputee Uses Astral Projection... To Kill.

Hard To… Open Stuff

There are things in this world made by nature and made by humans that are not suitable for humans.  This is a look at the things that are hard to open.

Stuff Kids Can’t Open:

1. Jam. Jam is tough.  It confuses the would-be opener with its stickiness and promising aroma.  Adults can typically use logic to get around these distractions.

2. Eggs. Anyone can open eggs, it’s just the usability afterwards that matters.  This is where kids fail with eggs.

3. Gym Membership. No gym that’s worth going to is going to let a kid get a membership, so be sure to ask the gym if they’d let a kid off the street sign up for one before you do.

-

Stuff Both Adults and Kids Can’t Open:

4. Milk Cartons. Waxy paper paired often with a dire need for its contents makes the carton a hard thing for anyone.

5. Medicine Bottles. No complaining here because this is an important one.  I’d rather everybody die than have kids be able to open my medicine bottles better than me.

6. Green Banana. We know this is the best time to eat one, but the bananas know this too, and won’t give up the chalky goodness easily, for anyone.

-

Stuff Adults Can’t Open:

7. Kid’s Piggy Bank. Adults can, it is however not advised, especially if it’s a kid you have some responsibility to.  Loose-moraled kids will later break your piggy bank for concert or school supply money.

8. New Technological Device. I’m not saying adults can’t do computers, I’m saying they can’t do computers that were released after the year they got a real job.

9. Hot Dog Buns. They make these things for people with dagger fingers or adults with kid-sized hands.  Kids can’t even keep them clamshelled, but at least they can get their dog in there.

Season 3 Episode 4 in which a man (dayjob: bellhop) believing himself to be a psychic, brutally murders tarot card and palm reading professionals. One of my favorite episodes - having competing parts humor and gore. The character’s name is referred to as “Puppet.”

This is part of an ongoing project to catalogue the villains from the television series X Files. Check out the others here!

Lobster Bird

This is a turtled lobster bird.  It’s a very sad combination of things that came to me while staring at a wall.  If you want to know, this is how most of my ideas come to me, staring at walls.

Bird 6: Northern Cardinal

Hello everyone, hope you had a great holiday weekend and that it was lazy and full of fine foods. Back on the birdwagon here. Today is a female Northern Cardinal, one of the prettiest northeast birds in my opinion. Haven’t shown much of a wing view yet, so here you go! The set is going well, many many birds still to go until I can even think about layout for the poster. Gonna pick up the pace a bit.

Some unused style tests for a Sesame Street segment, The Letter D.

Visit my site! Visit my new, pretty blog!

Hey, it’s Friday.

Bird 10: American Robin

Boy you guys, I'm coming down the final stretch with the Birds Of Brooklyn poster. This cute, colorful robin is the latest addition and I'm real glad he's on it. Keep posted about the poster.

Another gig poster for the now Chicago-based DJ Lani Love. Changed up the style a bit this time to better portray her intended pop, disco and 80s setlist. I liked the look of the background on this so I made some wallpapers. You can get two versions of the wallpaper for your iPhone 4 or big old Droid right here.

Continuing this week of records with another Prescription Strength Hugs release! These are songs that didn't make an EP for one reason or another, usually tone problems or whackiness. You can check out the mounting collection of my tunes at the Bandcamp page!

<a href="http://prescriptionstrengthhugs.bandcamp.com/album/b-sides" data-mce-href="http://prescriptionstrengthhugs.bandcamp.com/album/b-sides">B-Sides by Prescription Strength Hugs</a>

Man, Seattle is a super great city. We went to Pike’s Public Market and got some excellent sweet and savory pastries and of course saw some fish get ceremonially tossed. Then we biked to see the Space Needle and neighboring architectural interests. After plenty of biking in the rain, we ended the day with a viewing of the strangest movie I have ever seen at a great cinema that prides itself on cult rarities and good beer. If you’ve any interest in bizarre, psychedelic Japanese horror movies of the late 70s, see House (1979) pronto. More soon.