Aureostuff - Obey Me Stuff

This is Money Snake. She only appears every 312 years. 

If you reblog her picture within the next twenty-five seconds you will have good luck and fortune for the rest of your life. 

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Louder for the dipshits in the back.

"photograph of a young palestinian girl flying her kite on al-waha beach, gaza, 2011. on this day, 6,200 palestinian children filled the gaza sky with kites, achieving the guinness world record for most kites flown simultaneously. the culture of kite flying amongst gaza youth remains a symbol of resilience, creativity, and joy. over the past 7 weeks, the amount of children killed by the israeli state has nearly surpassed this number, continuing to rise each day. we must continue calling for a permanent ceasefire now. the devastation must end" — via @azeemamag on instagram

I think two of my favorite readers are fast food reader and everglades reader 🥰

Also the everglades reader posts immediately reminded my of Fluffy (the comedian) skit about the crocodile hunter. (Cant remember the actually words just the touch part lol).

Ever!reader: you see that?! That one right there has a bite force equal to biting into a boiled carrot! / This one is so venomous it could paralyze you faster than it take for you to fall to the floor!!

...

Ever!reader: I'm gonna touch/poke it! 🥰

"You see this little guy right here? This right here is a wandering spider - one of the most venomous spiders in the world. Nausea, severe pain, abdominal cramps, erections that can last for hours, breathing difficulties that can lead to death if not treated soon enough...."

You count off the small percentage of the list of symptoms you've mentioned so far with your fingers as the drider looms behind you. Little was quite the broad term to use for it. The creature was large enough to where they could probably fit your entire head between their fangs has they wished. It ponders how a human could be so brave to turn their back on a beast of their kind while rambling on about the very side effects they have a probable chance of inflicting you with at any given moment. Perhaps it was stupidity. Either way, the spider was positively enthralled by you and your nulled sense of danger. How on earth has a person like yourself survived out here for so long?

"Anyway, I'm gonna poke them."

The drider shifts - given little to no time to process your words as your finger pads the fuzzy layer of skin right where a nose would be if they had one. You laugh as all six of their eyes point towards the area of their face where your hand had touched.

"Boop!...See, this little guy is chill. Barely any reaction at all"

True be told, the drider was too stunned to move a muscle. No one's ever had the nerve to touch them like that. And which such a carefree attitude too. You truly had zero regards for your own safety -

Which only meant if you ended up in the spider's web there's really no one to blame for your disappearance but yourself. If anything they'd be doing you a favor by taking your well-being into their own hands.

“if somebody becomes panicked when you accuse them of lying theyre obviously not telling the truth” shut up ugly im a survivor who got punished for shit i never did all the time of fucking course im gonna panic when im blamed for something i didnt do