I'm Not Just A Pretty Face. I Also Know The Letters Of The Alphabet

THE TAGS IM SOBBING

levi : i guess i’m just a weirdo otaku-

mc, cutting him off : don’t piss me off

At the end of the day Ellie's js a gen alpha

Being called a fox or a little creature makes me euphoric my tail wags when I’m scurrying around like a little fox creature making sounds that are scary but also… cute

headcanons for Percy?

WHOOP WHOOP okay just to preface this, most of this is me going “hey i think being a kid of poseidon is a weirdly complex experience”

i think this is canon officially but percy’s music taste is one of the 78378837 things in his life he got from his mother; sally’s an old-school rock and old-school rap diehard, and percy follows right in her footsteps, because on days when gabe wasn’t home sally would turn their shitty little radio that sat on the kitchen countertop on and bang her head while cleaning or cooking or shuffling bills. trips to montauk were sally shouting the lyrics to an AC/DC song and tiny percy not knowing the words but wanting to join in, so he’s just shouting nonsense. a lot of the things percy likes, he likes them for sentimental reasons, and music’s just another one of those things.

when percy was first born for three weeks he would literally not stop screaming. he would not shut up. he would sleep for half an hour and then he’d scream for three. and then sally gives him his first real bath, and percy is the happiest he’s ever been since he’s been alive. i have in my head a very comical image of sally pulling percy out of the little tub and he starts screaming like a banshee, and then she sets him back down and he’s back to giggling happily, rinse, repeat - so eventually sally learns that she can clean the kitchen sink really good, stop it, and just drop percy in. after she figures that out he’s an insanely easy baby, and also toddler, because imagine if you could just dump a cup of water on your kid’s head and he’d just instantly be less upset. the downside to this is that water gives percy a lot of energy, but sally would rather be chasing a giggling toddler than a screaming one.

because of that, growing up, whenever percy was angry or upset and sally couldn’t immediately calm him down because she had to wrangle gabe, she’d tell percy to take a shower. percy takes showers based on his current mood. he thinks everyone does this, and one time at his first summer at CHB, annabeth is upset about a fight she had with someone in the athena cabin and percy’s helpful advice is, “maybe you should take a shower?” and annabeth gets so pissed because she’s 12 and she thinks percy’s telling her she smells. percy is extremely confused.

if he’s ever landlocked far away from the coast for a long time, he gets antsy and irritable and depressed, which is not something they figure out until annabeth’s first job involves her relocating to denver for six months and percy goes with her, and it is a truly hellish six months. they figure it out when they stop off at CHB on the way home because maybe percy just needs something familiar, maybe he’s just homesick, and then he proceeds to stay under the ocean for three days straight

while i’m thinking about headcanons relating to percy being half sea god, this kid drinks a truly astronomical amount of water. he’s like the king of the hydration nation. he has a reusable water bottle of truly monstrous size that he has to fill up every hour, because he is the most hydrated person alive, and he has been known to sometimes just stick his head under the faucet and drink directly from the sink like an oversized dog. beverages that are not water are unacceptable. annabeth, who lives off of tea, coffee, and red bull, thinks this is weird.

half sea god metabolisms go hard because percy’s body, although he doesn’t realize it because he’s never lived in the ocean, works doubletime when he’s not in the water. he eats so much because it takes more energy for him to exist on land than it does for literally anyone else. zeus and hades kids have it easy, they’re literally always breathing air or walking on land, they’re in their natural element just all the time. percy’s magic godblood is just screaming “what the fuck is this what the fuck is this what the fuck is this” and that’s why percy eats almost an entire meal every three hours.

further Percy’s Blood Is Half Seawater headcanons include: he has never owned an umbrella in his life because he just trots through the rain like nothing in the world is wrong, he’s not only more resistant to heat but also resistant to cold because the ocean’s pretty damn cold most of the time, he has a high tolerance to mortal drugs so when he gets sick not even the tamiflu can’t save him, if he’s near the ocean he gets really bouncy at incoming tide when the waves are strongest, always knows whether it’s an el nino or la nina year, and he doesn’t know it because NYC isn’t exactly at risk for hurricanes, but the closer he gets to natural ones the more batshit he goes. completely chaotic, can’t focus on anything, running around like a chicken with his head cut off.

living on a fault line or near a fault line is a NO GO he CANNOT DO IT. not just because percy accidentally triggering an earthquake on a fault line could Fuck Shit Up, but because the constant tension of the colliding of the tectonic plates puts him on edge. he gets stress migraines near transcurrent faults. being near intense volcanic activity for a prolonged amount of time, like living near an active volcano, just makes him angry. sometimes he gets inexplicably frustrated when traveling, it’s just because they’re over a failed ancient rift in the middle of a tectonic plate. and percy accidentally triggers a lot of earthquakes, but since they’re all intraplate quakes and he has no idea he’s doing it, they turn out to be more like lil tiny tremors, and people just kind of... don’t notice it. no one figures this out until after the giant war and percy’s struggling with night terrors and those tremors start getting a lot more noticeable. percy, annabeth, and grover have to go on a Recovery Roadtrip because staying in one place means percy’s doing a lot of damage to one specific area of a gigantic tectonic plate and creating a weakness in the earth’s crust increases the tectonic stress making subsequent earthquakes worse and also i fucking think they deserve a roadtrip what the fuck!

being a kid of poseidon needs to come with a goddamn handbook, but it’d be 1000 pages of the wildest shit imaginable, like “if you need a blood transfusion there’s not going to be any human that can help. you’re going to have to find a willing horse or ocean creature, and pegasi do not count” or “if you ever have the urge to just knock back a salt shaker like it’s a shot of vodka, that’s also normal, and encouraged”

i’m pretty sure canon contradicts this but lol canon is mine to ignore, but i think because of gabe’s tendency to be a gross human being, percy has grown into being a neat freak. annabeth leaves one (1) empty can on the table and percy makes distressed percy noises about how they HAVE A RECYCLING BIN, BABE, TRASH DOESN’T BELONG ON THE TABLE - also because of gabe, percy gets weird around alcohol and the smell of beer makes his heart hammer. which is awkward, because sometimes the older CHB kids who survived the titan war and the giant war celebrate being alive by sneaking in alcohol, and chiron will turn a blind eye to it because CHB is one of two places in the world where demigods are safe to be off their game. mr. d is seething, but, you know, that’s fine. so percy spends those parties cleaning up after people and cutting people off when they’ve had too much and chatting with the people who got drunk but accidentally got sad drunk. if they’re on the beach and the waves are crashing harder than usual, well, they’re a bunch of demigods excited about being alive, and no one really notices.

extremely good taste in sneakers he just wears those sneakers with like, the worst outfit imaginable

If the people of Forks made memes:

Edit: yes there is a typo here, pls stop mentioning it

This took so fucking long to make, but please do enjoy

sisters best friend!ellie?? like a forbidden relationship type thing 😋😋

( her sneaking through your window and fucking you while your sister’s next door >>> )

i kind of took this and ran with it a little bit 🤭

18+, finger f*cking, soft!dom ellie, squ1rting.

🚫 men and minors dni 🚫

“ellie please.” you whined as you ground your hand down on to her hand and you felt her chuckle beneath you.

“please what?” you sigh as you moved and your clit caught the heel of her palm. your eyes screwed shut as you chased the feeling again. “look at me. and use your words, baby.” your eyes fluttered open to see ellie staring back at you— her flushed sun kissed cheeks making your heart warm. your eyes finally met hers and she smiled “what do you want?”

“you— inside.. please, els.” you fumbled over you words before she moved to kiss your lips softly. ellie hummed at the taste of your chapstick on her tongue as she moved to kiss you jaw.

“you sure? big sister next door may not like it when she hears her best friend finger fucking her sweet little sister.” ellie mumbled against your neck just before she hit down carefully on the pulse point making you groan.

“been— ah. thinking about you. mhm. all day.” try to steady your breathing to not avail as ellies hot mouth latches on to your tit and sucks gently. the sound alone would make you soaked but oh god the feeling.. the feeling is other worldly. ellies lips leave your skin and you look down to see her looking lovingly at the blooming red mark she left.

“oh yeah?” ellies eyes trail up your body to meet your eyes and you nod. “how do you think i feel? seeing you walk around in that slutty little bikini. seeing all the guys look at you but knowing the only person you want is the one you can’t have?” ellies mouth started trailing down your body leaving open mouth kisses everywhere. “you drove me fucking insane all day.” she spoke and you felt the hot air tan over your clothed cunt making you moan.

she laughed to herself as she looked up at you. “already moaning and i haven’t even really touched your pretty little pussy yet.” her fingers wrapped around your underwear and she slowly slid them down your legs. the feeling of the air hitting your soaked center made you whine as ellie tossed the fabric somewhere in your room and moved to spread your legs wide. her eyes darkened as she watched your slick glisten in the moon light. “shit. you are soaked baby.” her voice was gruff with arousal and you sighed as her hand moved to spread your pussy lips open even further. “who did this to you?” her eyes lit up as she asked the question and you sighed.

“you. always you baby.” your tongue wiped over your bottom lip as you watched ellie patiently. your clit throbbed harder under her stare as she liked her lips.

“i know you said you wanted my fingers tonight but i gotta taste you first. look too good.” ellies practically drooling as she whispers up to you and you whimper again. nodding carefully before ellies tongue licked a bold stripe all the way up the center of your pussy.

you can see your slick on her tongue as she moans at the taste— neither of you saying another word before she’s devouring it entirely. her lips wrap harshly around your hard bundle of nerves and the edge of your vision turns black. you couldn’t help the moan that tore out of your throat as your back arched and the familiar burn of your orgasm flamed up. ellies hand firmly grabbed the soft flesh of your thigh in a warning and you nodded carefully.

one of your hands moved to harshly tug on your still sensitive nipple as the other went down to card through ellies hair in an attempt to ground yourself. but the moan that vibrated against your core made you groan as you rolled your pussy hard against her face.

you looked down and saw ellie grinding against nothing and you felt your slick drip down your leg. ellies head moved side to side and your climax tore through you violently.

ellie came up for air as she moved to push two fingers into your dripping and pulsing cunt. making your legs try to shut automatically.

“uh uh. keep em open.” ellies voice was harsh as she slammed her fingers into you. her free hand coming up to rub quick circles against your clit as her two fingers fucked your cum back into you. “play with your tits baby.” ellie nodded as she watched you move to paw at your already red and starting to bruise breast. the pornographic sound of her fingers in your sopping wet cunt made you moan as her free hand came up to wrap around your throat.

“stay quiet.” ellie said through gritted teeth and your eyes just rolled back in your head as the burning feeling came back stronger than you have ever felt it. tears blurred your eyes as everything quickly became too much.

“fuck i could cum just watching you like this.” ellie moans almost to herself and your vision starts to fade to black.

“el— ple— please. i. i can’t.” before you could even finish your sentence your high pitched whine echos off the walls of your bedroom and you cum harder than you ever have before. if it weren’t for the weight of ellie on top of you you would be sure you were floating.

as your breath returns to you as your eyes flutter open to see ellie— soaked and staring at you in complete and utter awe. her face covered in droplets of your slick and suddenly you realize that your laying in a pool of it too. your eyes grow slightly wide as you look down at her.

“holy fucking shit. that was hot as fuck.”

Sevika and You irritating each other

Here are some head canons that didn't make it into that one fic. More people liked it than I thought they would so thank you! I love all of you and your comments make my day <3

Warnings: 18+ probably, JIC

You cannot help yourself when it comes to touching her muscles

You hold her arm for a good few seconds, nervously debating whether the possible repercussions will be worth it. With a sharp, crisp slap that probably stings your hand more than it does her, you chime “this bad boy can fit a lot of muscle-" A heavy swat against your backside has you squealing. “This bad boy can lift you over my knee-" 

Calling her name until she comes to you/ emphasizing different parts of it just because you like saying it

“Sevika!” “Baby?” “Sevika” “What, baby?” “Sevika” She'll finally come to you for you to tell her “I love you”. She'll roll her eyes but hug you, and tells you she’ll give you a real reason to scream her name if you do it again.

Calling her daddy in front of people, you’ll shrink back and giggle nervously at the look she fixes you. If you’re feeling brave and don’t run, you’ll wrap yourself around her arm and play cute in hopes there’ll be no retaliation

She’s soft for you so it’ll probably work

If she ever runs into you literally, on accident or not, you’re going flying. She’ll usually catch you before you hit anything (I.e. the wall/ground) 

She’ll laugh and tease you, is very amused when you try to push her back and she doesn’t move an inch

Maybe takes pity on you and moves slightly but I doubt it

You pepper her face with kisses when you’re laying together, softly at first to avoid suspicion and then you attack, keeping her cheeks cradled in your palm to keep her still, and raining down hard kisses on her nose. She’ll usually know what you’re about to do because she’ll hear you mutter “rapid fire” before your assault

She whines like a fucking child, like you’re embarrassing her in her apartment with no one around

HER BLUSH/pout afterwards is absolutely adorable and don’t be fooled by her disgusted face/noises. She loves it

This bitch will sit on you. Break all of your bones. Not really, but she’ll get you back. Either after when you’re laying in bed or when you’re unsuspecting and sitting on the couch.

If it’s in bed, she’ll promptly roll on top of you and start snoring over your squeals. Lifting her dead weight arms is barely doable so you know you’re screwed with the rest. She’ll pretend to sleep while you giggle and push and slap at her. If you tell her she’s crushing your boobs, she’ll inch down and drop her head against them and that’s the only compromise she’ll make. 

If you’re on the couch, she’ll plop down on you and the air just whooshes out of your lungs. This will actually probably be painful so just tickle her neck and she will fold. Use the advantage to push her off and run quick.

She’s really clever with insults. But I imagine if you startle her enough with your stupid, she’ll be so flabbergasted it’ll take her a while to choke it out.

“Why would you- you goddamn tumbleweed”

Her face will do that thing where her cheeks puff out and her face will form this deep scowl that makes her look so scary it’s funny. 

She’ll be berating you and you’ll be biting your lip to not laugh 

You’ve asked her to crush your head between her thighs. Like full on watermelon-crush. She tells you it would be no trouble because there’s nothing in yours

When she gets home and plops tiredly on the couch, you make a show of fixing her favorite drink, only to sit down next to her and start drinking it. 

“Thanks, hon I really need- you bitch.” 

“That’s so sweet, Sev.”/“Oh, you wanted one?”

This somehow leads to some weird foreplay, either her spitting the alcohol in your mouth or taking body shots

If anyone objectifies her they get punched or brutally insulted, depending on the severity. But when you do it, it’s usually you screaming internally or muttering to yourself about how “it’s not fair” or “how is an ass that sculpted?” 

She notices every time, loves the way you drool and your eyes fog over when she flashes her tits at you. 

If the sight doesn’t render you brain dead, you’ll tease her back with “how unladylike” or “how will you ever find a respectable man when you act like that?” 

Telling her she's unladylike will have her doing the most heinous shit-

“I am a respectable man” swoon

She's your respectable man

You flash her too when she’s at work, doling out orders to her men and then there’s you in the back, lifting your shirt. To your disappointment, she’ll smoothly carry on, but as soon as she’s done you’re being dragged to the back room 

It makes her hot and bothered, of course, but she could be railing you in front of a room and still keep her composure

“Do you ever wish you were tall?”

She’ll body slam you on the sofa every time you ask this 

Also when you call her Tiny, Pipsqueak, Shortstack, Princess (this one makes her blood boil)

She’ll literally hold you by your feet until you apologize

You always tell her how hot it is when she hustles/threatens/intimidates someone on the job

She thinks you’re messing with her when you say you want to role play being her prisoner

But you’re not, god Sevika one chance please-

She whistles to get your attention, like you’re a damn dog. I actually wrote a little smth on this 

A sharp whistle sounded from the doorway behind you, one that indicated Sevika likes what she sees. Her method of communication between her and her men occasionally carried over into your relationship, whether she admitted it or not. Enough to where you had created your own catalog for what they mean in your head. Your favorite was probably the one she used in the bedroom, usually an attention-grabber or a warning if you were being a brat. The one time she subconsciously whistled for your attention outside of the bedroom had you threatening to kick her to the couch for the night (like you could) and she profusely denied her intention of calling you.

“Honey, I was just whistling.”

“Oh? So you didn’t want me to refill your glass you were holding out?”

“It’s… my arm adjustments, babe. I’ve told you this.”