Diary Entry #11
Cw politics and sui again
I don't know what I can or should say about Trump winning. There is not a single word in the English dictionary that can express how angry I am, how disappointed I am at my fellow man. I've thought some pretty awful thoughts recently, both towards myself and towards others.
I do consider just ending my life sometimes, but I'm not going to be another statistic. I can't be. Unless I am truly backed into a corner, I'm not going to consider it an option just yet.
I hope these next 4 years will blow over, that we'll be okay, but I really fucking doubt it at this point. I thought the race was going to be close, that we stood a chance. But apparently all my hoping was for nothing.
My grandpa stayed up for a considerable amount of time watching Fox News, waiting for swing states to close, hoping that Trump won. I'm still pretending to be a conservative, but I'm afraid the hatred for that system of ideas will shine through somehow and that my cover will be blown.
I hardly can look my grandparents in the eyes right now. They voted red down the ballot. There's nothing I can say to convince them.
At this point, I just hope that the people who voted for that fool are happy at the chaos they are going to bring. I hope they're happy that the world is going to burn beneath us, hope they're happy that they're complicit in the suicides of trans people. Some of them probably are happy about the latter, but you know what I mean.
When the news first broke, I didn't feel much besides numb. But now I'm enraged, and probably will be for a long time. I just don't understand how it happened. All I'm hoping is that I can get out of my house before anything happens to get rid of my healthcare, but what about other people? They're still going to suffer. Woman and trans people will still suffer, really, everyone's going to suffer.
I don't know. Guess that's it for this entry.
Queen Dizzy's pronouns are They/Them, not because they're nonbinary but because they're three people.
Okay it seems like when you post in a community, it doesn't allow you to post outside of the community yet. Sooooo... here is Adrian/Alucard Tepes from Castlevania! I was feeling a bit dysphoric when I was drawing at the time, so I wanted to give one of my favourite characters top surgery scars <3 Hopefully I'll get there soon myself, just a little more!
When ya OTP small and u starving for content but u find that one fic/drawing
this speaking as a cis person. Nothing brings me more joy seeing people find gender euphoria in becoming a mediocre representation of humanity. And I mean that so genuinely. Local boy finds joy and fulfillment wearing a cargo shorts and t-shirt combo. Local girl has transitioned to look like someone's disheveled aunt, has never been happier. Local person experiences gender euphoria rocking the world's worst bowl-cut. Without a scap of irony, this shit makes me see the wonder and whimsy in just, being a human. An average, person going through their day-to-day, is a wondrous thing? That's amazing. And heteronormativity has stripped these experiences of their joy. Like you're right, wearing a basic girlypop skirt should make my heart sing. Why not? Why are these expressions lesser because they're normal? All this to say. Shoutout to all the basic bitches out there. Yes that polo shirt does make you look like a divorced golfer dad. Yes, that too is kind of a slay, now that I think of it.
Dysphoria is killing me so bad. I need T, NOW
I feel like you guys should see this
Sound on if you guys wanna know what a little King Vulture sounds like 👀
Do your patriotic duty. Salute the flag.
I also would like to share something: For the past 3 years, I have worked as a Survey Research Interviewer at a local University of mine under the Public Health department, meaning I call random numbers of people to see if they want to do a health survey or not. The surveys we do are done all across the U.S., and recently, the most common survey that we do (that is under the State's health department and the CDC) added questions regarding sexual orientation and gender identity.
I just want to tell you that if you don't want to do the survey, please say something like "You're not interested," "Take me out of your list," or "Don't call me again." You can even curse us out if you wish to. Because if you just hang up on us, then we are forced to call your number again in the future (probably that same week or month). But if you say anything that I listed, then we will take your number off the list immediately.
If you do want to do the survey, don't mention anything about you being queer or trans/nonbinary. You can lie to us because we have no choice but to code the answer you've told us. I personally skip the question about sexual orientation and gender identity to protect whoever I'm interviewing because even though the survey we do claims to be anonymous, I live in a red state so I'm not taking any chances.
Please do what it takes to protect yourself these next 4 years.
19 Trans FTM and pansexualSpecial Interests: Pizza Tower, FNAF, DHMIS, Vocaloid/UTAUloid/Maidloid, trans issues/rights, Mario, PvZ, Spooky Month, and many more!Hope you like my page lol
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