I Kinda Feel Like I Kind Of Grew Up Like This:

"I want to be a dragon."

Literally my favorite pokemon line

wow! birds

Diary entry #15

Feeling a little bit better. I've been reading a lot recently, the pvz comics and also "american teenager" which is a book about trans kids' perspectives! It's really good so far!

My brain is whirring with different fanfic ideas.

I ordered a crazy dave figure and sunflower plushie and I'm so excited!! I wish they shipped soon but whatever i guess lol

This is the first line of official pvz merch in forever. I wish they made an Edgar Zomboss figure or plushie or whatever but I'll take what I can get haha!

I know I'm just distracting myself from the horrible reality ahead but it's nice to be distracted sometimes

I think I'm at like peak hyperfixation when it comes to plants vs zombies; idk how much longer it's going to last but judging on my other hyperfixations it might be a year or more before it fully fades.

[ID: a screenshot of a Youtooz pre-order with a Crazy Dave figure and Sunflower plush /END ID]

maybe this time picking at Textures on my skin will lead to being silky smooth

Diary entry #23

Tw sui and general panic (?), transphobia

Oh shit oh fuck they've banned HRT for minors. I'm not a minor but the amount of damage they'll be able to do to minors scares the fuck out of me. If you are a minor who's trans and wants to take HRT, I am so so sorry.

I'm a diagnosed autistic adult, what if they take it away from me too??? I don't know how I could survive that. I don't think I could. If that comes on the news, they may as well be sharing the date that I'll die.

I hope it doesn't come to that. I fucking hate Trump and his goons so much.

I'm hoping I can do DIY HRT if it comes to that. If they ban it for autistic adults, it's not automatically a death sentence, but I can see the way that it could lead to my death and thousands of others.

I don't really want to think about it, but what choice do I have? This is my future!

If I didn't procrastinate my moving out so much, maybe I would've been okay.

I hope the ACLU or something saves us. I can only hope.

HUH

I didn't know Maretu was a queer pick. Uhhhhh

Shoot idk who else I like!!

Oh you're a queer kid? what's your fav music artist? and don't say...

will wood

will wood and the tapeworms

Tally hall

Miracle musical

mitski

jackstuber

joe hawley

that handsome devil

chonny jash

tom leher

ghost and pals

maretu

6arelyhuman

odetari

penelope scott

rio romeo

cuarteto de nos

riki musso

santiago tavella

laufey

taylor swift

radiohead

marina

weezer

the beatles

tv girl

billie ellish

milk in the microwave

bo burnham

fish in a birdcage

toby fox

lemon demon

sarah and the safe word

asteria

artic monkeys

they might be giants

my chemical romance

green day

gorillaz

ado

melanie martinez

the strokes

evanecense

glass animals

soddiken

the scary jokes

whatever Your favorite martian was smoking

tyler, the creator

the crane wives

the living tombstone

cavetown

mindless self indulgance

the orion experience

hamilton (yeah ik its a musical)

heathers (yeah ik its a musical x2)

ride the cyclone (YEAH IK ITS A MUSICAL x3)

steam powered giraffe

kiuko (i dont remember how its spelled)

21 pilots

Sir Chloe

hazbin hotel soundtrack

paparrapa the rapper soundtrack

sonic soundtrack

or the omori soundtrack

edit: just to make clear that i don't know every queer band on existence

You can bend over backwards trying not to be one of “those” cringey queers who wears pride everywhere and goes by arson and has they/it/fluff/pixel/boo pronouns on a catgender pin they wear everywhere and suppress everything “extra” unlikable about your identity and pass as a “normal” cishet and mock everyone who dyes their hair for pride and wears rainbow nail polish and guess what? Conservatives will still want you dead. There is no appeasing them. Stand by your community. Maybe you’ll find that arson (they/it/fluff/pixel/boo) is going to be the best goddamn person to have in your corner when the republicans you’ve given up your life to placate inevitably turn on you and try to sentence you to death because any amount of queer is too damn queer. Maybe you’ll find that we are a community for a reason. We’re all equally degenerate in the eyes in conservatives and equally worthy of joy and life in the eyes of the “weird” queer community you shun.

This post made me feel a lot of emotions. Thank you anon, sm.

I am a trans man and I have lots in common with cis men.

I am a Jewish man, and my “ethnic” white features are the ones that trans men meet with fear and revulsion: hairiness, balding, shortness, and carrying weight in my hips and ass. I look like my father, my grandfather, and my brother. I will not apologize for that.

I am a queer man, and I love and defend my queerness. I get de-gendered and they/themmed because I am expressive, I am dynamic, and I am loud. I love drag, I love to queen out, I love gay mens’ history and culture. I love leather, I love kink, and I love seeing other people like me in those spaces. I love to feel, see, hear, touch and connect with other men— cis and trans.

I am a disabled man. I have that in common with cis men too. Men who are afraid they are not manly enough because they are not physically strong, because they cannot endure hard labor, or work out or play sports. Men who are “weak” for being mentally ill, or autistic, or expressing their emotions at inappropriate times. Autistic men who have “childish” interests and are terrified of being mocked for them, or who can only enjoy what they love “ironically”.

I am on HRT. I have that in common with hundreds of men who have naturally lower testosterone, and older men. I wear a binder, which is something I have in common with men with gynecomastia.

The longer I transition, the more the constellation of traits that make me “clockable” or “non passing” as trans shifts, and takes on new meaning. Yes, I have wide hips, a big ass, I am short, I am queer, I am mentally ill. No, I am not like “the average” man. But I see myself reflected in new places all the time.

I am a person who wields the privileges of whiteness and male gender. I am constantly learning how to be humble, how to let others speak, and how to be in mutuality and support instead of “protective”. I see this same struggle in other men in activism, who have been assumed to be leaders, but now need to learn to follow, and learn to listen.

I am a man, straightforwardly. Other men are my brothers, and I love them. Women are my sisters, and I care for them and want them to walk freely in the world. No person is not my kin, and I want them to be liberated. All our fights are entwined.

Thanks for making the space to share this.

An absolutely beautiful message, thank you.

(angry video game nerd voice) two genders? that's it? and you just get given one at random, you don't even get to decide which one you want? what a shitload of fuck