Bounty Hunting💵

in these trying times i believe we all need some fun league of villains shenanigans :')

I am whatever gender has the shortest line at the bathroom

Okay look here's the thing, here is the thing -

This is Sam. He's a eight foot tall robot with glowing eyes. In this trailer he sends fiery lasers out from his body from every available crevice.

But in Blade's character stories and in the relic set about his backstory, he describes Sam as such:

Blade always calls Sam either "walking armour" or "a person wearing colossal armour".

Blade probably hasn't ever met a robot before! The dude's a boomer.

Which is doubly funny, because of Blade's leaked "About Sam" voiceline:

Which makes me wonder... When Sam does his emo speech about wanting to be alive etc etc and "I'm just a cold metal husk of a man" etc etc and "oh I'm not even a human being!!!" - what does Blade think he's talking about?

Maybe Blade has since gotten the low down on robots and perhaps someone explained it to him. But for most people robots would be so mundane that the other Stellaron Hunters might not realise Blade has no fucking clue. Which is already funny, but it's kind of sweet that Blade has accepted Sam's motivation no questions asked?

Like, Blade loves a good "I am a monster" metaphor(?) as much as the next person, so I do buy that he'd just assume Sam is being verbose.

On the other hand, if Blade does know at this point, who explained it? Sam? Kafka? Does Elio give out pamphlets to new members? How long did it take? Even if Blade does know what a robot is by now, that doesn't mean he necessarily understands all the nuances of AI and like there's obviously a range of robots. Does Blade think Sam is basically a microwave with a cooler voice? Or he could be on the other end of the spectrum, thinking Sam is basically a normal dude but his species is Robot, like the foxians or Vidyadhara.

And I understand why Blade might not get it, because Sam is the guy who sends cute emojis from his phone, and helps Silver Wolf with her gaming without needing to be asked and he chastises Kafka about being unnecessarily cruel. Like he's almost the most human person in this group, and that's really tragic. But I do foresee that Elio's "I can make you into a real boy" promise will end up being "humanity was literally the friends [Blade, Kafka & SW] you made along the way".

Anyway I'm off to write fluffy found family fanfiction about these idiots.

Claim

Dragon's treasure

Transcribed: [I can still feel it, the stench of this alien thing. Whoi gave you the right To put your claim on him.

Congratulations!

Pardon? You found something you wish to do at long last, I see

Oh how I wished to break that wretched thing right there and then

Now it matters little to me

Your blood, your body, your soul

You are mine]

if i had a nickel for every time i find a favorite character who has their own great backstory and are super badass get turned into waifu bait by hoyoverse i would have 2 nickels but it’s weird that it happened twice

short comic based off that one post where sevika first meets silco by mistaking him for a butch lesbian (idk how the timelines work don't think too hard abt the ages lol)

Some random headcanons because I'm bored and I should really post more often.

Pierro: genuinely does not like the vast majority of the other Harbingers. He tries his best to get along with them but dear god half of them cannot shut the fuck up to save their life

Capitano: Likes hot cocoa and puts like a weird amount of effort into making them. Like you know those extremely long tiktok recepies for (Insert country name)-hot cocoa that take hours but taste the same as regular hot cocoa? Yeah, Capitano has made all of them at some point and he swears theres a difference

Dottore: addicted to sugar. Addicted to a lot of things, actually. Younger segments get sugar rush. Youngest segment is an ipad-kid. Gets distracted extremely easily. I have too many headcanons about this guy.

Columbina: can sleep ANYWHERE. Girl goes skydiving and sleeps in the sky. Rollercoaster? You mean a moving bed?

Arlecchino: bad at math no i wont explain myself. Tried making candy herself once and it went horribly wrong.

Clervie: scared of clowns. terrified even.

Crucabena: Likes playing rhythm games. Her children are reenacting the hungergames and she's in the background just playing pjsk or osu or smth. Also collects Pokemon cards, loves them more than her children. Very good at masking, but has autism (like every other harbinger). Nr. 1 enabler for the other Harbingers, but especially Dottore. Used to bite people as a child. Was, in general, the most feral child you can imagine. Dottore calls her Crucy and she despises it.

Pulcinella: hates hot temperatures. Cannot stand anything above 15° Celsius

Scaramouche: sometimes forgets that time is in fact passing. It's a result of his time in the Abyss, but also connected to his immortality. Speaking of which, he has no idea how old he actually is, he just knows he was created after the cataclysm.

Sandrone: goes nonverbal when overwhelmed. Also has a one-sided rivalry going with Dottore.

Signora: i have so many german-aunt headcanons about her - positives of having characters inspired by your culture i guess. Lots of my headcankns abt her are inspired by my own aunts lol. Can do tricks with a bottle of wine. Used to have a lil space where she raised chicken and other animals back in Mondstadt, but didn't keep them after Rostams death

Pantalone: weird relationship with dottore also translates into weird relationship with Scaramouche. Both of them have seen each other in..lets say compromising positions. They have a pact to never ever speak of it. Also very jealous of Scaramouche and Crucabena (despite the latter being dead) due to their relationships with Dottore. Extremely posessive.

Childe: has once thrown a snowball at Pierro. Was very lucky that no one figured out it was him. Somewhat scared of Dottore. No one ever told him which Harbinger joined when, so he doesnt know how old anyone is (minus Arlecchino)

One of my favourite parts about autistic people is how you can use other peoples' reflections of them like an echolocation bullshit detector. Like they personally do not need to do shit for this to work, they just passively emit their own autistic vibe that bounces off every surface around them, and you can assess another person's level of self-awareness by how they reflect it back.

"Autistic people do not understand social hierarchy" nope, they understand you're supposed to be an authority here, but they won't politely pretend to respect you if they think you're incompetent.

"Autistic people do not understand humour" nope, they just don't politely pretend to laugh to humour you, and you are simply not funny.

"Autistic people are rude" nope, they just don't think it's polite to lie to you, and don't care about trying to tell you what they think you want to hear instead of telling you what they think.

"Autistic people sometimes have emotional meltdowns for absolutely no reason" nope, you're just insufferable to be around and the person with the lowest tolerance of your shit is simply the canary in the coal mine who breaks first.

Bird with broken wings