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How to Build + Perfect Your Confidence in 2022: 22 Bulletproof Tips

What would unstoppable confidence mean to you?

Whether positive or negative, your thoughts and attitude will reflect in your voice, your personality, and your actions. If your interior landscape is unhealthy, your foundation for self-esteem and confidence will not be strong. Here are some examples of the possible symptoms of positive versus negative practices for each level of confidence.

Inner Confidence

Positive: Generally sure of yourself; is self-aware + seeks to improve relationship with self; comfortable with accepting compliments; emotionally intelligent; practices self-compassion; self-healing is a priority.

Negative: Generally unsure of yourself; lacks self-awareness; poor emotional intelligence skills; doesn’t practice self-compassion; difficult time with self-healing.

Outer Confidence

Positive: Generally loves new experiences; feels comfortable shining in social situations; has a standard beauty + hygiene routine; has a signature style; has a positive body image; takes care of body + health; has a clean + organized living space.

Negative: Generally avoids new experiences; feels uncomfortable shining in social situations; poor beauty + hygiene routines; doesn’t have a signature style; lacking positive body image; doesn’t take care of body + health; lacking a clean + organized living space.

Lifestyle Confidence

Positive: Generally seeks opportunities to grow; comfortable with change; healthy lifestyle habits; shows up for herself almost every day.

Negative: Generally doesn’t seek growth opportunities; isn’t comfortable with change; unhealthy lifestyle habits; uncomfortable with personality.

In life, you either remain or repeat. Do you want to be the sam woman that you were last year?

How to Build + Perfect Your Confidence in 2022: 22 Bulletproof Tips

1. “Fake it til you make it.”

Don’t be discouraged by the need to “fake” being confident. We all have to at some point in our lives, and the results can yield massively positive effects. Now, I know that you may be triggered by the word “fake,” because it sounds like it’s not authentic, but let me tell you that you can get a lot done when you “act as if” you have more confidence situationally. I am not advising that you do not spend time to develop your confidence and overcompensate for your lack of self-esteem with pretending to be this amazing person. At some point in your life, you felt confident about something. Even if it were a paper that you wrote in school, a job interview that you went on, a party that you planned, or a selfie that you took. It is moments like those that help to cultivate your confidence, so that you can resonate with how it truly feels. Create your most confident self, by developing a Higher Self Vortex, and channel her whenever you need her. One way to do this is by recalling tone of your most confident moments in your life. Channel that energy and put yourself back into that state of mind. You’ll be like an actress putting on the greatest show for your audience, and it’ll pay off big time. The better you become, the sooner your true self will emerge.

2. Never Say Never.

Avoid speaking in negatives. If you believe that you can’t do something, or will never achieve something, you have already given up on yourself and will make it much more difficult to pull yourself away from that mentality. Instead, consider the possibility that what you want is well within your reach. Anytime that you say that you can’t, or won’t, you are training yourself to believe that you are less than worthy—and that just isn’t true. Whatever you say to yourself and believe about yourself will become your reality, so if you want to create a more positive outcome, try countering any negativity with something positive that better serves you.

3. Believe other people’s confidence in you, even when you don’t believe it yourself.

When other people compliment you, say thank you and accept it—even if you don’t believe it. Don’t challenge it. Instead challenge any inclination to refute it. When people tell you that they believe in you, or that you are special, absorb that information and challenge yourself to find reasons that justify why they would feel that way.

4. Choose your company wisely.

We are the average of the closest 5 people in our lives. If you continue to surround yourself with people that always find fault in you or doubt your potential, you will eventually begin to think the way that they do. This doesn’t happen overnight, but unless you increase the positive healthy relationships in your life, it strips away at you piece by piece. Surround yourself with people that are confident and that love, accept and support you.

5. Remember that everyone is a narcissist.

Everyone is so obsessed with themselves, so they probably don’t have time to think about you. When in social situations, I always give myself a five second rule. If I really want something I race myself to go after it within five seconds before my mind has a chance to talk me out of it. It worked amazingly well when I worked in sales and got into the habit of pre-judging customers. You learn to train your mind and body to feel the fear in your body, but go after it anyway. It then becomes a reward.

6. Know who you are.

Just because people say it, doesn’t make it true. If people create a narrative about yourself, that’s none of your business. If you know who you are, why become offended by someone else’s' opinion of you? If you know it to be untrue, you should find comfort in that. Don’t worry about what other people think, unless it is critical for your growth. Remember that knowing who are you is not refusing to grow and improve. It is accepting your strengths and weaknesses and consciously working to improve your self and well-being.

7. Find Your Signature Style

8. Set goals, standards, boundaries and priorities.

A confident woman knows that it is easy to dream about living the life that she wants, but it is vital to have clear goals and poriotesi to keep herself on track. Figure out what your goals are, and do not allow anyone to get in your way. If you planned your day, and you’re checking off your to-do lists, and someone calls you randomly, you will let them know how much time you have available and if it is not enough you will schedule a time to follow up rather than changing your entire day based on other people.

9. Don’t allow jealousy to take over.

It’s normal to be jealous of someone else that has something that you want. We all have that initial feeling, but just with anything, it is how you respond to that feeling that determines how it will affect you. Everyone is unique. Everyone has great qualities, and some not-so-great. But they are not you. They don’t have your beauty. They don’t have your heart. They don’t have your experience, so how can you compare yourself to someone who can’t come close to who you are? Don’t get too caught up in them being in a “better place” in life than you are. You may be on the same journey, but you are on a different path. Love your path. Love your journey. If you were magically placed where she is, and had the life that she has, you would not have the tools + mindset to be happy and maintain your lifestyle and well-being.

10. Practice your default effortless smile.

Frowning never made anyone happy. It won’t make the situation that you’re upset with any better, and it sure won’t make anyone see you radiant beauty. It is a powerful tool. One smile can brighten someone else’s day. It can attract people to you, and make you more likable. But, as with anything, you don’t want to overdo it. I once heard that someone who laughs too hard is perceived as hiding their pain, sadness or an insecurity. Whether or not that can be proven, I’m not sure; however, it does seem to ring true in some cases. Of course, you want to be aware of the situation that you are in, as smiling from ear-to-ear may not always be appropriate. You’ll want to learn how to put on an effortless smile that is soft and suggests that you are happy and enjoying life.

11. Own your mistakes and release any guilt or shame.

Guilt is meant to be a temporary feeling to provide you with feedback to help you to do better next time. It’s not something that you should hold onto for dear life. Should you make the habit of doing so, you’ll find that it prevents you from completely showing up for yourself. You’ll start convincing yourself that you are not worthy. Confident women know when to own their mistakes, and they know when it is apporapiate to apologize. Stop the “I’m sorry” response that just comes naturally. Rather than focusing on your “mistake,” focus on the clean slate of today.

12. Develop a signature walk.

This one is simple. Walk like a divine goddess that has someplace important to be. As you walk, visualize yourself leaving a trail of gold. If you need some inspiration, create a playlist for when you want to feel like a confident woman. Put your headphones in and strut down those grocery aisles like it’s your own fashion show.

13. Speak with a strong voice + speak clearly.

Stop saying “if that makes sense“ so often. I get it. Sometimes when we communicate, our mouths are going faster than our mind is processing our thoughts. Sometimes we just don’t know how to explain ourselves. But asserting your opinion about something and then following it with “if that makes sense,“ is a quick way to possibly discredit what you have said, or make the recipient uncertain about your confidence in what you’re saying.

14. Expect others to see + appreciate your good qualities.

15. Don’t say “IDK“ if you just need more time to gather your thoughts.

16. Spend more quality time with yourself.

Learn to revel in the moments that you have to yourself. If you have an evening free of obligations, celebrate by spending some quality time with yourself. Do the things that bring you joy. Whether it’s painting, writing, watching your favorite movie, or cooking your favorite meal, cherish these moments and look forward to the next self-date. Empower yourself even mores by going out alone, and enjoying your company as you would on a traditional date.

17. Develop a self-confidence daily ritual.

Take some time each day to recite affirmations to remind yourself of your amazing qualities, express gratitude for your inspiring achievements, and write to your self in your journal. Adopt at least two techniques that will help you to feel more empowered and impressed with yourself and your growth.

18. Take up more space.

If you make yourself small on the inside, you will make yourself small on the outside—and the cycle will continue. Confident body language can not only make a difference in how you feel about yourself, but will encourage people to see you more powerfully. Unfold your arms, stand tall, keep your feet at an appropriate distance, don’t hunch, etc. Research has shown that striking a power pose consistently, such as the “Superman,” can alter your hormonal and chemical composition, leading to you feeling more powerful and confident.

19. Be willing to be vulnerable and embrace failure.

Confident women are more likely seize an opportunity or try something new, even if it may result in failure. This is not because they are superhuman, or have such extreme confidence. They still feel the fear, but they do it anyway. They take immediate action to help overcome their fears. It doesn’t happen overnight, but at each opportunity they address their fears. They find their own groove and learn to embrace challenges and make decisions more quickly. The cost of failure is not whatever you failed at. It’s whatever you impose on yourself. If you learn to fail, forgive and move forward, you’ll understand that failure is a prerequisite to success. It’s an opportunity to learn and improve. If you don’t try, you’ve already failed, so you’ll have a 0% success rate (which is A LOT more detrimental). If you didn’t get that promotion? Remember that you’re not back to where you started, you’re now starting with even more experience than you had before. You now know how to improve. You now know what not to do. You now know that you have other options. Now, yes, everyone is not on the same playing field and therefore some have more to lose than others, so obviously you’ll want to only apply what works for you. The point is that success mainly feeds your ego. Failure teaches you resilience, adaptability, agility and builds your confidence.

20. Develop strong self-discipline.

So maybe you have the vision? Maybe you have the ambition? You feel like you’ve got the “right” tools to get to the next level, BUT you’re lacking in discipline? Unsurprisingly, this is a problem that MOST people have, so you’re definitely not alone. But is this a club that you really want to be a part of?

Discipline is a skill, and just like any skill, it needs to be practiced and improved upon incrementally. So, do you have a concrete goal? I’ve noticed that there are a lot of vague goals out there (be financially stable or become an influencer). It’s a great place to start, but most people that lack discipline have a habit of getting too far ahead of themselves. They focus on the bigger picture so much that they have no idea how to actually achieve it.

Big ambitions without a clear plan with visible steps, will lead you to give up on yourself before you really try. It’s great to have a starting point, and to know what you want in the end. But it’s up to you to lay every brick. You are your engineer, your investor, your janitor, your ceo, you are everything!

21. Improve your level of knowledge.

I always say Google can be your best friend. You can learn so much, but obviously you should be careful not to overwhelm yourself with information. Pick something that you are interested in learning more about, and study it for a couple of months. You can create a "bare minimum" chart for all of your interests, and do one of those things to help you learn more each day so that it doesn't get too boring.

22. Practice self-love, self-care + self-adornment.

This is pretty self-explanatory, but it's so important to not only regularly do things that express love and care for yourself, but truly understand the value of nurturing your soul. Celebrate yourself.

Source

Things you think every woman should learn?

How to pose in pictures

How to to use basic power tools

How to clean your home

How to kick some ass

How to host 

How to sleep well

How to say no!

How to masturbate

How to chop things 

How to keep a finance journal

How to fix a button

How to bake a basic cake

How to get stains out 

How to enjoy your own presence

How to grow a mini herb garden 

How to fold your clothes properly

How to jumpstart a car

How to make one pot pasta 

How to buy vegtables

i love being a hater of media that i’ve never seen or listened to. no i will not give it a chance. it’s called listening to my heart

PRACTICE URGE SURFING

free online james baldwin stories, essays, videos, and other resources

**edit

James baldwin online archive with his articles and photo archives.

---NOVELS---

Giovanni's room"When David meets the sensual Giovanni in a bohemian bar, he is swept into a passionate love affair. But his girlfriend's return to Paris destroys everything. Unable to admit to the truth, David pretends the liaison never happened - while Giovanni's life descends into tragedy. This book introduces love's fascinating possibilities and extremities."

Go Tell It On The Mountain"(...)Baldwin's first major work, a semi-autobiographical novel that has established itself as an American classic. With lyrical precision, psychological directness, resonating symbolic power, and a rage that is at once unrelenting and compassionate, Baldwin chronicles a fourteen-year-old boy's discovery of the terms of his identity as the stepson of the minister of a storefront Pentecostal church in Harlem one Saturday in March of 1935. Baldwin's rendering of his protagonist's spiritual, sexual, and moral struggle of self-invention opened new possibilities in the American language and in the way Americans understand themselves."

+bonus: film adaptation on youtube. (if you’re a giancarlo esposito fan, you’ll be delighted to see him in an early preacher role)

Another Country and Going to Meet the Man Another country: "James Baldwin's masterly story of desire, hatred and violence opens with the unforgettable character of Rufus Scott, a scavenging Harlem jazz musician adrift in New York. Self-destructive, bad and brilliant, he draws us into a Bohemian underworld pulsing with heat, music and sex, where desperate and dangerous characters betray, love and test each other to the limit." Going to meet the Man: " collection of eight short stories by American writer James Baldwin. The book, dedicated "for Beauford Delaney", covers many topics related to anti-Black racism in American society, as well as African-American–Jewish relations, childhood, the creative process, criminal justice, drug addiction, family relationships, jazz, lynching, sexuality, and white supremacy."

Just Above My Head"Here, in a monumental saga of love and rage, Baldwin goes back to Harlem, to the church of his groundbreaking novel Go Tell It on the Mountain, to the homosexual passion of Giovanni's Room, and to the political fire that enflames his nonfiction work. Here, too, the story of gospel singer Arthur Hall and his family becomes both a journey into another country of the soul and senses--and a living contemporary history of black struggle in this land."

If Beale Street Could Talk"Told through the eyes of Tish, a nineteen-year-old girl, in love with Fonny, a young sculptor who is the father of her child, Baldwin's story mixes the sweet and the sad. Tish and Fonny have pledged to get married, but Fonny is falsely accused of a terrible crime and imprisoned. Their families set out to clear his name, and as they face an uncertain future, the young lovers experience a kaleidoscope of emotions-affection, despair, and hope. In a love story that evokes the blues, where passion and sadness are inevitably intertwined, Baldwin has created two characters so alive and profoundly realized that they are unforgettably ingrained in the American psyche."

also has a film adaptation by moonlight's barry jenkins

Tell Me How Long the Train's been gone At the height of his theatrical career, the actor Leo Proudhammer is nearly felled by a heart attack. As he hovers between life and death, Baldwin shows the choices that have made him enviably famous and terrifyingly vulnerable. For between Leo's childhood on the streets of Harlem and his arrival into the intoxicating world of the theater lies a wilderness of desire and loss, shame and rage. An adored older brother vanishes into prison. There are love affairs with a white woman and a younger black man, each of whom will make irresistible claims on Leo's loyalty. 

---ESSAYS---

Baldwin essay collection. Including most famously: notes of a native son, nobody knows my name, the fire next time, no name in the street, the devil finds work- baldwin on film

--DOCUMENTARIES--

Take this hammer, a tour of san Francisco.

Meeting the man

--DEBATES:--

Debate with Malcolm x, 1963 ( on integration, the nation of islam, and other topics. )

Debate with William Buckley, 1965. ( historic debate in america. )

Heavily moderated debate with Malcolm x, Charles Eric Lincoln, and Samuel Schyle 1961. (Primarily Malcolm X's debate on behalf of the nation of islam, with Baldwin giving occassional inputs.)

----

apart from themes obvious in the book's descriptions, a general heads up for themes of incest and sexual assault throughout his works.