You Don’t Have To Punish Yourself Anymore

hello kitty and gaspard et lisa by georg hallensleben

Green Flags in Communication 💚💬

"I want to know when I hurt your feelings."

This shows they are willing to understand and acknowledge the impact of their actions.

"I don't want you to feel alone in this."

This shows empathy and indicates that the person is supportive and does not want the person to deal with issues alone.

"I've been struggling with ___”

This demonstrates vulnerability and trust, as the person is open about their struggles.

"How have you been feeling about ___? I know it's been on your mind a lot."

This shows concern for the other person's issues or worries, showing that they are listening and care about what's important to the other person.

"I feel __ when you __; are you open to trying __ next time?"

This is an example of constructive communication.

"What do you need from me when this happens with your family?"

This shows awareness and sensitivity to the persons family dynamics and a willingness to provide support.

"I appreciate when you ___.”

Expressing appreciation is vital for positive reinforcement and acknowledging the efforts and qualities of the other person.

"I didn't handle that well."

This is a sign of self-awareness and accountability, recognizing one's own mistakes and being open to learning and growth.

"I'm sorry, I was wrong to say that. I'll try to be more mindful in the future."

Shows you are able to apologize genuinely and a commitment to improving behavior.

"Tell me more about that; I'm really interested in hearing your perspective."

Indicates a genuine interest in the other person's thoughts and feelings.

"I noticed you seemed a bit off today. Is everything okay?"

It shows you are attentive to the other person's emotional state and a readiness to provide support.

"I'm here for you, no matter what you need."

Offers unconditional support, creating a sense of security in the relationship.

"I love how passionate you are about your hobbies. It's inspiring to see."

Expresses admiration for the other person's interests.

"Let's work on a solution together. What do you think would be fair?"

Focusing on collaboration rather than conflict.

"I trust your judgment on this."

Trust and respect for the other person's decision-making abilities.

"Your happiness is important to me. Let's make sure you're taking time for yourself."

Prioritizes the other person's happiness and emphasizes the importance of self care.

"It's okay to feel that way. Do you want to talk about it more?"

Validates the other person's feelings.

"I appreciate how you handled that situation. You're really good at ___."

Praises specific strengths or skills, boosting the other person's self-esteem.

"I know we disagree, but I respect your point of view."

Acknowledges differences in opinion while still maintaining respect and understanding.

things I wish people told me in my early 20s

you’re so young and you have so much time - do not feel pressured to have everything sorted or figured out or make major life decisions please take your time and relax

how you’re perceived by others doesn’t matter and you have to live life for yourself and do whats right for you. most of the people who’s opinions feel important now will be completely irrelevant in 5 years, they don’t matter at all.

you don’t need anyone to save you or take care of you, you can do that all by yourself

there’s nothing inherently wrong with you, you aren’t broken and you don’t need to be fixed. you are loveable and wonderful. be gentle with yourself.

everyone has their own path and their own timeline. enjoy yours and don’t compare your journey to others. your time will come and it’s all part of the becoming and unfolding of your story and who you are

you will make mistakes and bad decisions… doesn’t mean you’re irredeemable or your life is unfixable. there is no wrong path or bad version of the story destiny will flow where it’s meant to always

many things which feel like a huge deal now will fade into insignificance in a few years… it may hurt for a moment but long term it really doesn’t have a major impact on your life. you’ll be okay

We all consume so many purposefully crafted stories that it’s easy to forget life doesn’t follow conventional narrative structure. We can’t wait for our climax. We don’t have character arcs. We live and then we don’t. The plot is happening now. Today is the story of you and me.

good things I did for myself 3/29

meditated AGAIN (2 day streak yahoo!!)

cried

did some homework 1 hour into coming home

ate something healthy

“A young ballet dancer awaits her turn as 530 ballet dancers take part in an attempt to stage the record for the performance of the world's largest ballet class ever at Canal Walk in Cape Town.”

Photographed by Anna Zieminski.

12 October 2003.

Just thought I'd remind everybody this:

Your past, younger, and more afraid self would be so proud of you

That scared kid who didn't know what tomorrow would be like? They're proud of you for making it even longer than tomorrow

That person who has lost all hope? They're amazed and inspired by how strong you've become

That insecure person who hates their looks? They think you've become absolutely gorgeous flaws and all

The past you may have been unsure of themselves, but you being alive right now is proof that you can survive anything. And that you'll someday be exactly what your younger self wished they were

good poems i’ve read recently

all they want is my money my pussy my blood - morgan parker

compass - joan naviyuk kane

dear, beloved - sumita chakraborty

dead things - muriel leung

desire’s dog - joy harjo

for those of you who are home, welcome - akosua zimba afiriyie-hwedie

kal - fatimah asghar

lessons - jacqueline woodson

mulberry fields - lucille clifton

son of msippi- henry dumas

self-portrait with and without - chen chen

a story - li-young lee

year of the monkey - paul tran

sumo wrestlers in a sunflower field