I Hate When Girls Feel Dumb For Trying To See The Best In People And Then End Up Hurt Or Disappointed

last day of high school-

I havent written here in a while, im a bit ashamed and embarassed because of my lack of progress but I remember that good things take time.

Who cares about the past, thinking about the past and constantly reliving it by being in a cycle of self loathing and self hate does nothing for me. Side note: god do I want to leave my area… i feel like it would push me out of my comfort zone.

Anyway this summer I want to finally commit to myself. Not be a prisoner of my past wether it be: past trauma, past relationships, limiting beliefs, self hate, self loathing, obsession and attachment.

I have always been on my own, this time I am enjoying and nurturing myself rather than seeking someone else or something else to do it for me

How do you romanticize your life? Xx

I guess I do a lot! Let's see, I:

Set my alarm 15 minutes early and open my blinds so I can stretch in the sun before starting my day

Sit in a sauna for 15-30 minutes daily while drinking cold lemon water

Consume sappy harlequin novels like they’re going out of style

Go on 2-3 hour long walks in nature several times per week

Meditate for 30 minutes before bed

Repeat affirmations in the shower and while brushing my teeth

Tell myself I'm beautiful every time I look in the mirror

Work at a daycare 3x per week because I love squeezing toddlers

Rub glycolic acid all over my body and top it with a rich cream after showering

Eat tons of watery fruit and drink 2 gallons of water daily

Host Charcuterie Sundays, Taco Tuesdays, and Pizza Fridays

Stay out all night Saturday and sleep all day Sunday

Listen to musical theatre while working

Watch at least one cheesy Netflix Romcom per week

Volunteer at my local nursing home once per month

Eat a bit of dark chocolate every night before bed

Keep a dream journal

Add to my vision board and read through my list of long term and short term goals daily

Exfoliate my face and body every Sunday night

Light a candle every evening

Purchase cheap beauty, health, love, and happiness spells on Etsy

Listen to Neville Goddard every morning while getting ready

Make my own floral arrangements and often gift them to other people

Walk bare foot in my backyard because it feels amazing

Open a recipe book at a random page and cook whatever I land on

Get on my knees and pray every night before turning out the light

Repeat "Thank you, God" in my head more times than I can count daily :)

Lovingly,

Elle

It is your responsibility to heal, but you know what? That wasn’t fair. And I want to acknowledge that.

You don’t deserve to have to heal from the things others did to you. You didn’t deserve what happened.

While you do have to do the work to heal, it’s okay to be angry that you have to in the first place. And it’s easy to get stuck on the fact that you shouldn’t have to. And I get that. But please don’t give up. You should heal because you deserve to be the healed you. It’s not fair you have to do it, but you deserve to heal.

Green Flags in Communication 💚💬

"I want to know when I hurt your feelings."

This shows they are willing to understand and acknowledge the impact of their actions.

"I don't want you to feel alone in this."

This shows empathy and indicates that the person is supportive and does not want the person to deal with issues alone.

"I've been struggling with ___”

This demonstrates vulnerability and trust, as the person is open about their struggles.

"How have you been feeling about ___? I know it's been on your mind a lot."

This shows concern for the other person's issues or worries, showing that they are listening and care about what's important to the other person.

"I feel __ when you __; are you open to trying __ next time?"

This is an example of constructive communication.

"What do you need from me when this happens with your family?"

This shows awareness and sensitivity to the persons family dynamics and a willingness to provide support.

"I appreciate when you ___.”

Expressing appreciation is vital for positive reinforcement and acknowledging the efforts and qualities of the other person.

"I didn't handle that well."

This is a sign of self-awareness and accountability, recognizing one's own mistakes and being open to learning and growth.

"I'm sorry, I was wrong to say that. I'll try to be more mindful in the future."

Shows you are able to apologize genuinely and a commitment to improving behavior.

"Tell me more about that; I'm really interested in hearing your perspective."

Indicates a genuine interest in the other person's thoughts and feelings.

"I noticed you seemed a bit off today. Is everything okay?"

It shows you are attentive to the other person's emotional state and a readiness to provide support.

"I'm here for you, no matter what you need."

Offers unconditional support, creating a sense of security in the relationship.

"I love how passionate you are about your hobbies. It's inspiring to see."

Expresses admiration for the other person's interests.

"Let's work on a solution together. What do you think would be fair?"

Focusing on collaboration rather than conflict.

"I trust your judgment on this."

Trust and respect for the other person's decision-making abilities.

"Your happiness is important to me. Let's make sure you're taking time for yourself."

Prioritizes the other person's happiness and emphasizes the importance of self care.

"It's okay to feel that way. Do you want to talk about it more?"

Validates the other person's feelings.

"I appreciate how you handled that situation. You're really good at ___."

Praises specific strengths or skills, boosting the other person's self-esteem.

"I know we disagree, but I respect your point of view."

Acknowledges differences in opinion while still maintaining respect and understanding.

self-improvement should be because you want to improve your quality of life, not because you feel or think you *need* to be better in order to be loved or allowed to live. there's no end goal with self-improvement, it's easy to dig yourself a grave when you don't realize that you're not on a ticking clock to be the 'best version of yourself'. all you need to strive to do is be the version of yourself you are the most happy with. find out what values you find important, what kind of friend do you want to be, how do you want to react to things. what are things that would improve the way you go about life? what would make life easier, better and more enjoyable for you?

bitch you better not be sitting and staring at your old wounds forever wtf

Solange for Document Journal. Photos by Joshua Woods.

I am literally speechless.

your life is not an optimization problem