You’re Not Someone So Worthless That You Will Only Be Accepted By Others If You Become The Perfect

Franz Kafka, Letters to Friends, Family, and Editors

your life is not an optimization problem

things I wish people told me in my early 20s

you’re so young and you have so much time - do not feel pressured to have everything sorted or figured out or make major life decisions please take your time and relax

how you’re perceived by others doesn’t matter and you have to live life for yourself and do whats right for you. most of the people who’s opinions feel important now will be completely irrelevant in 5 years, they don’t matter at all.

you don’t need anyone to save you or take care of you, you can do that all by yourself

there’s nothing inherently wrong with you, you aren’t broken and you don’t need to be fixed. you are loveable and wonderful. be gentle with yourself.

everyone has their own path and their own timeline. enjoy yours and don’t compare your journey to others. your time will come and it’s all part of the becoming and unfolding of your story and who you are

you will make mistakes and bad decisions… doesn’t mean you’re irredeemable or your life is unfixable. there is no wrong path or bad version of the story destiny will flow where it’s meant to always

many things which feel like a huge deal now will fade into insignificance in a few years… it may hurt for a moment but long term it really doesn’t have a major impact on your life. you’ll be okay

heal. your mom may never apologize to you, because she has conditioned herself to believe that she did right by you. she hasn't healed. heal anyway. your father may never apologize to you, because he can only see what he's done right. he hasn't healed. your family members may never apologize to you, because toxicity is what they were raised on. they haven't healed. heal anyway. that "friend" may never apologize to you, because he/she isn't sorry. he/she hasn't healed. if/when they reach their healing, they may seek your forgiveness. be so healed that it won't even matter. heal for you. you owe yourself that much.

note to self becca

@theopeninvite on Instagram

Femme Fatale Guide: Products & Services Worth The Splurge

Fashion:

A great couple of bras in black/nude (your best skin-toned shade)

Comfortable, breathable, and seamless underwear

Outerwear (Coats, jackets, blazers)

The perfect pair of jeans

An LBD that works from day to night

Comfortable, sturdy, sleek, and timeless footwear (a versatile black boot, a black heel, white sneaker, and a black flat/loafer/sandal)

A timeless and versatile crossbody or shoulder bag (a larger one for the daytime/work or school and a smaller one for nighttime/events)

One or two well-made classic jewelry item(s)

A conversation-starting item or accessory

Beauty:

Sunscreen

Any skincare/skin cosmetic products that are game-changers for you

A quality hair brush, comb, and hair towel

Your signature scent

A quality razor/hair removal product

Vitamin C/Retinol serums

Reliable hair tools and sturdy nail tools

A quality hair heat protectant/scalp cleansing or conditioning spray

Makeup brushes and beauty tool cleaners

Home:

Lamps/lighting

Couch/desk chair

Everything for your bed: Bed frame, mattress/sheets/pillows, etc.

Knives

Dishwasher-safe and microwave-safe dishes & cups you love

A full-length mirror

Vacuum

Storage solutions/cedar blocks or moth balls

Quality holders for everything: Paper towels, shower storage, hooks, mailbox/key bowls

Name brand paper products/household cleaners

Electric toothbrush & Waterpik

Sound-proof headphones/Airpods

MacBook Air

Health & Wellness:

High-quality lettuce and/or sprouts

Organic frozen fruits and vegetables (if fresh is too pricey)

BPA-free canned goods

Potassium bromate & glyphosate-free grain products

Snacks free of artificial colors

Quality coffee

An at-home massage tool/heating pad

Fur products for skin/hair removal

Vitamin C/Retinol serums

Quality running shoes

Anything that goes near your vulva or into the vagina: Sex toys, lube, condoms, toy cleaners, pads/tampons/menstrual cups, cleansing wipes, etc.

A yoga mat, resistance band, and a pair of small ankle weights

Spotify subscription

Books and audiobooks

Services:

Therapy

A top-tier haircut

House cleaning (even if it's only once every couple of months)

Top-tier hair removal/brow maintenance services of your choice

Best doctors, dentists, OB/GYN, and dermatologists you can get

At least one personal training/styling session in your life

Professional/Social:

Ownership of the domain for your full legal/professional name and/or business name

A CPA/bookkeeper/fiduciary financial advisor

Automation workflow/content management system software

A lawyer for contract review/LLC services

Personalized stationery/"Thank You" cards

Memorable client gifting for the holidays/milestone successes

Niche skill-based certifications (Google, AWS, Hubspot, etc.) or courses made by trusted professionals in your field

Subscriptions in world-leading and industry-authority digital publications

People are not just born amazing artists, they have to paint a lot of bad art first before they get good. People are not just crazy funny and quick whitted, they told a lot of bad jokes before getting to this point. An athlete trains for years before winning medals, singers have a whole lifetime of singing lessons under their belt, and so when you start something and you are bad and then compare yourself to all these people that are so "talented" and it makes you feel like shit, just know that you can get there! Don't be afraid to suck at something

justine skye