Some Of My Favorite Words And Phrases To Describe A Character In Pain

Chapter 6

Monster Dearest

Warnings: TRIGGER WARNING: This chapter will have TWO disturbing scenes. Ximena is a very morally incorrect character. This chapter will have a SH scene (not detailed) and a scene where a parent lashes out at a child due to addiction/substance abuse (of a made up substance) but both child abuse and substance abuse are still VERY real issues and if you know someone struggling with either of these things please reach out to someone or check out literally ANY of these:

Crisis Text Line

Crisis Text Line offers advice and referrals for anyone who feels that they’re experiencing a crisis. This can include drug and alcohol dependency, suicidal impulses, family problems, and other personal difficulties. To access the Crisis Text Line, text HOME to 741741 any time, day or night.

National Alliance on Mental Illness HelpLine

The National Alliance on Mental Illness operates a helpline for individuals and their loved ones who feel they may be experiencing a mental health crisis. People who know or suspect they have a mental disorder or who believe a loved one might be suffering from such an issue can call 1-800-950-NAMI (6264) to get help. The helpline also accepts text contacts, and the alliance may be reached via email. Responses go out during normal business hours.

National Drug Helpline

The National Drug Helpline is open to any individual dealing with addiction issues, including family members and other loved ones. Resources are available for those struggling with any addictive substance, including alcohol, and professionals are available to help 24/7/365 at 1-844-289-0879.

National Institute of Mental Health Information Resource Center

The National Institute of Mental Health Information Resource Center hotline helps people suffering from mental illness find the resources they need to get treatment, including crisis intervention. Services are available in English and Spanish at 1-866-615-6464 or 1-866-415-8051 for TTY users. Live help is limited to regular hours, though online chat is also available.

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Ximena had always been known as a loved woman. She had a loving husband, two sons that loved her more than anything, a mother that lived with them in a large cottage on the very top of the hill that overlooks the villages. She would always go to the village and trade the fruits and vegetables for swey that she could find, but never brought the collection home to her family. Instead, she would bring home weapons that she claimed to have traded the food for to soldiers.

Ximena knew the perfect people that would do anything she asked when the time was right, so when the time presented itself, she willed herself into an alleyway close to her friend’s house with nothing more than a few vegetables and a dagger tucked away into her boot. She knew what she was going to do was ridiculous, but she also knew that it was a surefire way to get exactly what she wanted.

Taking the dagger, she swiftly stabbed herself in the side, being sure to avoid going too deep to miss any arteries or major veins. Ximena threw the vegetables to the ground to make sure they scattered and hid the dagger back into the boot that she retrieved it from. Begging for help from anyone that would hear, two of her older friends bolted around the corner in a panic.

“Ximena! What happened?!’

The voice of the first man brought a tiny, downward quirk to her lip, he wasn’t the man that she wanted, but his brother.

“I’ve been stabbed- I wasn’t able to provide enough vegetables for a trade and he took an armful and ran! I couldn’t see which way I-”

The brother of the first man looks at her and tries to assess the wound from overhead, but Ximena was moving too much.

“I’ll be right back. I’ve got to get something to wrap you up with, quickly.”

As she continued her sob story, the very man she was looking for came into the alleyway with weapons and bandages.

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Ximena had always been known as a loved woman. She had a loving husband, two sons that loved her more than anything, a mother that lived with them in a large cottage on the very top of the hill that overlooks the villages.

All of that changed when her oldest son found the stacked gallons stash of swey and connected dots that she wasn’t ready for anyone to connect. So she did the only thing that made sense to her. Ximena lashed out on him, pulling her dagger on him and swinging rapidly, only the thought of keeping her final plan on schedule. Griffin let out a surprised cry and grunted as he dodged her swipes. He wouldn’t fight back, he loved her too much.

“You weren’t supposed to find this.”

Griffin didn’t know what to say. There was no explanation, no apology, just a blame to his name.

She landed one slash from his jaw to his bottom lip when she finally realized what she had done.

“You aren’t supposed to be here. My son.. I’m so sorry.”

Without another word, Griffin turned his back to her and ran. He didn’t know where he was going to run to, but he knew that he couldn’t tell his brother and he couldn’t tell his father in fear of tearing the family apart. He also knew that he couldn’t tolerate anything along the lines of what she had just done ever again, so he ran.

Ximena sighs and drops to the floor of the swey cellar, staring at the dagger in her hand. She began to sob and threw the dagger at the wall, flinching as it crashed to the floor. Realization shoots a chill up her spine when the truth that just attacked her eldest son for the sake of her own addiction hits her.

The love she did have was fabricated in an intricate caricature of her own design. If there was no way to regain the love she lost in a world she destroyed, then she would let herself drown in a pool of lies to avoid facing the truth of her faults.

“M’lady you are lost in your head once more.”

“I’m just thinking,Ordóñez.” The masked man let out a sigh at her calling him by name. Such a rarity was to be cherished in moments like these. He takes off his mask and clips it to the loop in his belt, waiting for her to continue, but she doesn't.

“That’s dangerous.” She could practically hear the small smile that crossed his features. Letting out a hum, she turns to face him. She never noticed how distressed the bags under his eyes had become.

“I suppose it is, but we make due anyhow. The human brain is a dangerous thing, yet we all have one. How strange, we are all equipped with the most deadly weapon of all, yet hardly anyone knows how to use it.”

Trailing off in her ramble of power and how the brain could be used more efficiently, Ordóñez couldn’t help but wonder when or if she was even capable of facing herself. How was it that such a broken, mourning yet strong woman could hide so much pain behind a veil of power? What was her true motive when it came to the rule that she held? Was she doing the things she did because she was simply scared of what would happen if she tried to turn herself around? If that was the case, Ordóñez would be the first to admit that he has been in that situation too many times to count. Maybe he continued on his sadistic path because he couldn't accept that he has done too much damage to be redeemed in anyone's eyes. The hole has been dug too deep, and digging deeper seemed to be the only option. That and praying that the digging will come to an end once he finds there is no floor and he falls to what he could only describe as a well-deserved end.

“Ordóñez.. you are lost in your head once more.” Ximena’s voice, laced in something between worry and fake annoyance pulls him from his spiral, something he is eternally grateful for.

“I’m just thinking, my queen.” He shakes his head, mirroring her earlier phrase.

“That’s dangerous.” She continues his banter as she takes a seat next to him in the large room.

The library that she demanded to be built was always her favorite place to go when she truly needed to clear her head. Something about the rows of books and the ancient text reminding her of years past helped her find comfort in the fact that there is a possibility of beauty in the pain that has been inflicted on both herself and the world she knew.

There wasn’t much seating, only five chairs and a loveseat, all covered in maroon velvet with dark wood for the structure. She had no intention of letting anyone into her safe space, so she didn’t feel the need to have too many places to sit, but once she met Ordóñez, learned what he had been through and found that he was just a little too similar to her, she decided he was the only living person that had the opportunity to invade such a sacred space.

I also look a hugh jackman longingly

A Palestinian boy sharing his bread with a cat.

Reminder that Israel is bombing such children with great kindness in their heart to share despite on-going genocide of Gazans that deprive them of basic necessities including food and water.

Remember how precious their lives are.

thinking about her (three sword style Nami that Oda drew for One Piece magazine vol. 13)

I have not been able to stop thinking about her ever since I saw this design. I took some liberties with the outfit, giving her more of a sports bra and biker shorts and a sleeve (I am not sure if it is a sleeve or haki, I am running with it)

No you don’t understand. Im OBSESSED

hi :) i drew more of this hyper specific kpop au *dumps this at your feet like a dead mouse*

references: (x)(x)(x)(x)

Not Your Hero (an original work of mine)

There are plenty of words a mother could use to describe her son. Dashing, witty, handsome or strong. If someone were to ask Ximena Armstrong, however, only one of her boys would be introduced in such a proud light. If they asked about the other one, they would receive a strained compilation of complaints that he is vile, twisted, or a hateful beast. There are two sides to every story, though. What made a mother turn her back so quickly?

No one has ever gotten close enough to either party to ask for their side. One thing is for certain, Griffin Emiliano is a dangerous man, and Ximena Armstrong is a pathological liar.

Yet on an uneventful day in Betrothal, a group set out to find the answers to all the possible questions anyone could ask. When they find two boys, an anklet and a pile of bodies, there are too many questions to ask and not enough time for the answers before the doors are busted in and everyone is a suspect.

Chapter 1

“I hate to be the bringer of bad news, but if you run any slower, the snails will escape before we do!” A bellowing voice echoes through the halls of the underground chambers. Clambering behind him, a much softer voice rang out. “I’m sorry! This is my first time performing illegal acts, so sorry I can’t keep up with your vigilante lifestyle!” Turning on his heel, Gryffin casts a stone cold glare to his brother. “Don’t forget why we’re in this mess. You thought it would be a good idea to find the anklet, now three guards are dead and the blood is on your hands, kid.” Looking to the floor, Axel shrinks into himself; “I didn’t mean to…” “doesn’t matter the intention. It is the result that everyone will see. Remember that in everything you do.” Before another word was said, a loud crash brings the brothers out of their tension and drives their attention back to the situation at hand. Escaping certain death and bringing the anklet home to their mother, the smartest archeologist in their village. The winding chambers seemed to be getting slimmer and turning into simple tunnels, but with that, the duo noticed that the end of a tunnel was in sight. With reinforcements hot on their trail, Gryffin roars “Ximena will kill us if she finds out people died for that thing.” “Can you just call her mom?” “Not when she won’t call me her son.” “Well maybe if you-” Axel’s voice is cut off with another crash, the barrels in front of them breaking, causing whatever fruits and vegetables to scatter across the floors and stain their shoes more than the mud could. “Not another step, thief. Such a shame that I’ll have to tear such a pretty face to shreds” A masked man with a gentle but firm voice says, backing his words with a sword pointed to Axel’s face. The mask was unsettling at best, sporting a crooked smile with red teeth and white eyes, it’s a wonder the man could see through it. Though unsettling, he was right about Axel’s face. Unlike his brother, his face was pristine and untouched, his pale skin was a perfect target for a sadistic man such as the one in front of him. Questions hung on the tip of the blade as well as the tip of his tongue he realized it was getting closer, but he hadn’t taken a step. “If I can’t take another step, why can you?” “If I can’t take the anklet, why can you?” Comes the quick retort. “Well, technically you could, you just didn’t take that leap that you needed in order to actually grasp it.” With his sharp words and the tension rising, Gryffin grabbed Axel and made a mad dash for the light they witnessed moments earlier. Axel thrashed wildly, kicking the boxes of fruits and vegetables down to make more of a mess for the masked men to clean up later on. “I’m going to drop you if you keep doing that.” He warns with a scowl. “Right, sorry.”

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There was nothing fancy about the village the boys lived in. Past every market on the left there was an alley that the homeless would find themselves digging through, praying to whoever was out there to spare a little mercy for one more day as they cling onto what little humanity they hold. For the homeless that couldn’t fight their way through, the market’s right side would hold the bodies. It seemed everywhere one turned there was another person riddled by disease and famine. When the people in command were brought to the village to speak their grievances, they were brushed off, laughed at and then given one day’s worth of food for the women and children. Proving that they were simply sitting with another government that couldn't care less for the people under their control, but gave the bare minimum so there were still people able to BE controlled. Griffin hated everything about the village. He could never wrap his head around why so many people still lived in such a ghost town. The people were reduced to nothing more than beggars and thieves with nothing to live for, but had the fight and the iron will of soldiers with the world to lose. Under heavy lids, he drags himself into a makeshift shack, calling it a house for them to stay in as the night ticks by. Axel stared at the ceiling, wondering how long it had been since he saw his brother. His once soft features now hardened with the years of war and murder, tanned skin now scarred and hands calloused. Those green eyes that once shined like stars now cut like emeralds that were thrown to the ground by a child throwing a fit. Black hair that was once short and well taken care of has now grown unkempt and matted. “What is going on in that head of yours?” The man in question growled out. “How old are you now, Grif?” “Twenty three, but you didn’t answer my question. What is the issue?” Axel shakes his head quickly. “I was just wondering what went wrong with us… Why did our family fall apart the way it did? Why did you leave? Why-” Griffin cuts him off swiftly “You ask too many questions, Ax. That will be your downfall.” A deep silence settles across the room after Axel nods “mom says that too.” Griffin lets out a heavy sigh after a while and asks something that he sounds like he has been dreading for a long time. “Where is dad?” Axel stands with a speed like no other and starts for the door. “Ax-” “If you can call that monster our dad but can’t call her our mother then you are no brother of mine.” Confused, angry and a little hurt, Griffin throws the closest object at his younger brother’s feet. “Are you gonna tell me what happened or are you going to let me believe that he was a good man and she was the monster, kid?”

Is everything ok

nothing has been ok since i turned 12 but thank u for asking!