AD:

Ever since I was young, I was raised to be a total blank slate. No interests, no aesthetics, nothing. I was meant to be the vessel to L’Gogamet, the Hallowed One. So, that meant I had to fully give myself over to Them.

The only problem is: They never bothered to show up. I sat there, on my eighteenth birthday, waiting for Them to rend my soul from my flesh, only to receive a burning blaze of light reading “sorry, can’t make it, save the next one for me.”

My family wasn’t exactly thrilled. They were under the impression that I had done something wrong, though for the life of me I have no clue what it was. And now, I’m all alone. I have no clue what I’m meant to do.

I have a small apartment and a roommate. I’ve tried to get interested in the same stuff she likes, but it honestly just doesn’t appeal to me. But I have no clue what there is that I do like. Apparently, outside of my family, there isn’t exactly a “L’Gogamet fanbase”, and that was the only thing I was allowed to be interested in for my whole life.

I’ve gone to support groups, but sitting in a circle with other blank slates doesn’t exactly feel helpful. And then when someone does find something interesting, I’m like “wow! good for you! time to go back to doing nothing with my life.”

Worst of all are the modifications. My family took it upon themselves to alter me in a few ways, various piercings and tattoos that They should have loved. Only now, I’m stuck with them. And most of them are cursed to never be removed. I’ve been called out a few times, told that they’re “appropriative for a Sapio like me to have.” That hurt more than most comments, because I guess that’s all I am now. A Sapio, with nothing special about me except the disgusting markings all over me.

Your show came up in one of the support group meetings. I thought maybe you would have some advice? How do I find my interests and my self when I’ve been raised to be a nobody?

I'm so sorry your family have treated you with such unkindness – and I don't only mean their failure to support you after their plans went awry. It was profoundly unkind of them to raise you the way they did, as if you were nothing but a vessel for their hopes and aspirations and not your own person.

Their treatment of your body is particularly upsetting. I am certainly not going to try and tell you that your markings aren't “disgusting”, or to tell you how you ought to feel about your own body. I do encourage you to take whatever steps you feel appropriate in reclaiming your body, however.

Part of this reclamation might involve covering or removing the marks inflicted on you by your family. But I encourage you to experiment with other ways of changing your appearance, too. Play around with your clothing, hairstyles, hair colour, make-up – whatever you can think of.

The point isn't to find a style that you love, but rather to demonstrate actively to yourself that this body is yours, your own, and that finally, you are in charge of how it looks.

Of course, this process does bump up against your initial question rather. How are you supposed to know what sort of choices you want to make when you've never been allowed to make that kind of choice before?

The answer may seem obvious: you need to try as many things as you can, and expose yourself to as many new experiences as possible. But for the time being, I want you try and set aside your concerns about finding what you “really” like.

That is a huge amount of pressure to put on yourself, especially when you're starting from scratch, like you are. Instead, go into these activities with no more pressure on yourself than a sense of open curiosity.

You're not on some great quest to discover your True Self – you're just popping into the local book club to see what it's like, or borrowing some knitting needles from a friend and giving it a go. You can check what clubs and events are running at your local library, and make a game of trying as many as you can fit into your schedule.

Give yourself time. Imagine your personality as a plant that has been left in a dark, cold room with nothing to feed it and no light to help it grow. Against all odds, it has survived – pale and stunted, but alive. Now imagine you bring that plant into a warm, bright room, you feed it and water it, and above all you give it the space it needs. Who knows what kind of beautiful thing it might blossom into?

Finally, a word on your identity. Reader, you absolutely don't have to identify as sapio if you don't want to. There are plenty of people who consider themselves to be people of the night based on their magical practice, their religious background, or their occupations. You personal experiences more than qualify you to do the same.

As I've said many times before, liminality is defined by the people who claim it. There isn't an external, objective standard of “strangeness” that you have to meet in order to be a member of the community. Anyone who says otherwise is at best dangerously ignorant and at worst, wilfully so.

PLEASE REBLOG

I’m considering coming out to my family as non-binary, and so today I brought up the subject of non-binary gendering/transgendering with my Dad as a casual conversational topic. He’s told me that if somebody is born a boy then they “should stay a fucking boy” and not trans to a girl or be a boy some days/girl other days/genderless other days.

I told him that I think gender identity should be something one can choose for themselves, and he says that nobody thinks like that and anybody who is trans/non-binary will just be shunned by every member of society they meet. He doesn’t think that people support n-b/t communities, because he doesn’t. He says to me that not staying one’s natural gender is wrong and against the point of being born a boy/girl.

Every person who reblogs this will have their URL written in a full-size writing book and when it is full I will show it to my father to illustrate to him the amount of people who believe that being non-binary is a valid gender identity.

Thank you moonzy for doing ranboos hair and eyeliner 🙏

Am I really sad or am I just not eating enough Souls of the Innocents?

I'm afraid my abilities do not extend quite as far as to be able to look into your very being and answer such a personal question as this! Fortunately, my answer is the same in either case.

"Comfort eating" gets a bad rap among certain circles, but really, what could be more natural than giving yourself a delicious treat to tide you through the bad times?

Try a few Souls to start out with, and see how you go. If it makes you feel better, all to the good. If not, you can try other ways of looking after yourself. A spot of immolation might do the trick, or changing your bedsheets.

Finally, remember - there's no difference between sad because you're hungry and being "really" sad. It's all the same emotion, whatever the source, and you deserve comfort and kindness in either case.

[For more creaturely advice, check out Monstrous Agonies on your podcast platform of choice, or visit monstrousproductions.org for more info]

Hi. Sorry this is a bit long, but I could really use the help.

I guess I should start with who I am. I’m a member of the Creature Community, as you probably could have already surmised, but I don’t exactly look the part. You see, my genus looks rather similar to humans. That is, upon death. Our “ghosts” are almost indistinguishable from living sapios, at least for the first few years.

Now, I’ve recently died. Contrary to what many expect, it honestly hasn’t affected me too much. Sure, it takes some getting used to, and I have gone to therapy to work through the event itself, but it’s no more rattling than a particularly violent metamorphosis.

I’m lucky enough to still have some friends from before my death. One such friend, let’s call her “Amy”, has been very kind to me. She’s helped me work through this transformation, and even set up a small altar for me in her house.

The other day, Amy invited me over to her parent’s house for dinner. I was quite excited, after all, Amy had been one of the nicest people I’ve ever met, so it would only make sense her parents would be just as kind, right?

Goodness, was I wrong. Ever since my death, I can’t exactly consume food in the usual way. I was under the impression that this was conveyed to Amy’s parents, but I was mistaken. Upon sitting down at the table, I was served the same as everyone else. I assumed there’d been some kind of misunderstanding, and attempted to explain that I couldn’t eat anything that wasn’t on an altar or otherwise spiritually offered to me. Her mother seemed a bit irked, and said something along the lines of “there’s no need to be so picky.”

I tried to explain to them that I wasn’t being picky, but that I physically couldn’t eat it. It was around then I realized that Amy had never told them I wasn’t sapio, least of all that I was dead. Still, I did my best to try to explain it too them without it being seen as offensive. The food they had made did look and smell delicious, but that didn’t make it any more possible for me to eat.

That was when her father chipped in. He said, and I quote, “Well, you don’t look dead.”

I know that technically, to him, he’s right. To most humans who saw me, I did not look dead. But for some reason, what he said really upset me. I mean, what did he want me to look like, Slimer from Ghostbusters? A Haunted Mansion animatronic?!

I left pretty quickly after that, though I’ll admit I said some pretty harsh things before I went. I just don’t know what to do. I’ve already tried to apologize to Amy, but she won’t answer any of my texts or calls. I know that I was wrong for yelling at them, but I can’t help but feel that maybe they’re not all the way in the right either. How can I fix this without letting them hold onto those biases? Or should I just let it go?

I think you're being really rather hard on yourself here, reader. I don't see that this mess is yours to fix at all. First, you were put in a very awkward situation because of your friend's lack of forethought. Then you were apparently left to fend for yourself in that awkwardness, with no support from the friend in question.

You were subjected to casual sapiocentrism in a place where you might have expected to be treated more kindly. You say that, “for some reason”, you were hurt by Amy's father's comments – as if they weren't immediately, obviously insulting comments and dismissive of the variety of forms post-life vitality might take.

Finally, after being subjected to a mounting pile of microaggressions, you removed yourself from the situation. Perhaps this removal was a little less graceful than you might prefer, looking at it in retrospect. But given the givens, I think you did very well to be as polite as you were, for as long as you were.

You have even gone so far as to try to apologise for the unpleasantness of the situation – despite said unpleasantness being almost entirely the fault of other people's rudeness, ignorance, and inconsideration. But those attempts have fallen on ears that as not so much deaf as willingly plugged.

I don't think you need to worry about making amends with Amy's parents. You were their guest and they treated you poorly, with no indication that they have any interest in learning from the experience. Even if they did want to do better, you aren't their guinea pig. You have no responsibility to teach them the error of their ways, and the relationship isn't one you need to maintain.

Your friendship with Amy, however, does need some work. Amy has clearly demonstrated that she loves and cares about you. Her treatment of you following your revitalisation shows this. But sadly, love and care are not always enough to prevent harm.

I recommend offering to meet up in person to talk about the evening in question. You can certainly tell her that you want to make amends, but it's important you also make it clear that this is not a one-sided apology. Tell her you want to talk about some of the ways she could have supported you better as a person of the night in that situation, with a view to strengthening your friendship.

If she agrees to meet, remember to stay calm and be clear about the particular behaviours you want to address. This isn't about making Amy feel punished or blamed. It's about helping her to love you better. You have certain needs as a recently revived individual, and if she is going to invite you to an event, she has to make sure those needs will be met.

She also needs to understand that, while she may not see your post-death vitality as anything to write home about, that doesn't mean other people feel the same. It is unkind of her to put you into a situation where you will be expected to defend your identity or bite your tongue in the face of anti-liminal sentiments.

I sincerely hope Amy proves herself willing and able to listen to you and learn from this. Her previous behaviour suggests its certainly possible. But if she can't, please understand – this is not on you.

Sadly, some people are only interested in being kind so long as they can also be comfortable. You are better off keeping them at arm's length and keeping your more intimate feelings for those who can be trusted with them.

🐯toraleistripestan Follow

Every full moon I leave an open can of tuna in front of me so that the beast within can have a tasty little treat 🧡

🧛🏻‍♂️olderbloood-remade Follow

“Tasty little treat” godddd no wonder nobody takes werecats seriously yall are so corny 😭 go back to the zoo

🐯toraleistripestan Follow

The beast within fucked you mom to make her a better son

🐯 toraleistripestan Follow

LMAO he blocked me

🎶 yowlmusix Follow

why is it always the Victorian vampires who say shit like this. what compels them to say this sort of crap about other monsters on tomblr dot com

🫀 ghool Follow

Racism turned with them

I have a problem. Somebody asked me if I was pro-AI, and I said yes, of course, every sensible person is. "A person's a person, whether they were coded or conceived or came to life through other means," I didn't say, because I felt it was obvious. Now I've found out that people use "AI" to refer to non-sentient computer models, so that means I gave off the COMPLETE wrong impression, and it's mortifying. How do I deal with this, and how do I prevent it from happening again?

I completely understand your frustration, reader. The use of the term “AI” to refer to generative algorithms has had several unfortunate side effects, not least among them being the confusion this terminology causes for genuinely sentient programmes and otherwise coded consciousnesses.

I would first like to note that there is no way to completely prevent such miscommunication from happening. There is a hard limit to how much we can control other people's perceptions of us, after all, and language has always had a rather slippery relationship with meaning. All you can do is try your best, and to speak up when you think things have gone awry.

In this specific situation, the simplest way to avoid this confusion is to speak precisely and ask others to do the same. If a person asks whether you are pro-AI, ask them to clarify whether they're referring to sentient coded consciousnesses, or to a glorified spell checker.

If you have the energy, and if you think it would be productive, you might also push back a little on the terminology they're using. Encourage them to specify either “coded consciousnesses” when speaking about actual people, or “generative AI” when speaking about the automated plagiarism machines.

Otherwise, the best thing you can do here is to lead by example. Be clear and precise in your own language, continue to advocate for the rights and dignities of coded consciousnesses where appropriate, and be prepared to correct any misunderstandings as they arise. That's really all any of us can do.

[For more creaturely advice, check out Monstrous Agonies on your podcast platform of choice, or visit monstrousproductions.org for more info]

just got back from the far side of eternity turns out the universe is shaped like a cube that's also a torus

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@thenightfolknetwork daily affirmations

to any wizards who might find this on their dash, click keep reading 👇

your. incantantaions. are. impressive.

people are bewildered and amazed by your magical abilities, even if you don't hear people talking about them.

your spells are potent. they are influential on their environment.

your robes are lavish, and they are not overly gaudy. your brain is lying to you.

💖💖💖