"You Got Vampire Lore Wrong In Your Story Because Real Vampires Do This And That" Buddy I Have Terrible

@thenightfolknetwork

Would you still love me if I was a A large serpentine creature born to mortal parents who didn’t listen to the advice of a old crone and thus borne me (Cool & reptilian) and my younger brother (normal & boring), and I disappeared to woods after my birth only to return when my brother is about to get married so I can throw a hissy fit because I wasn’t married first, but each and every time my parents found me a spouse I ate them and after the third or second time of eating them they decided they couldn’t give me another noble /or royal spouse so they went to your father (a shepherd) and arranged our marriage, and you go to the woods and met a old crone (the same crone my mother spoke to) and you tell her about our engagement and how I ate my last two fiancées and you think I’ll eat you too (this is absolutely 100% true) and she gives you a list of things to do for our wedding night and we get married and your wearing all of your clothes at the same time and this begins a really long strip tease where each time you take off a article of clothing I have to shed my snakeskin and once you finally take off all your clothes you take out the whip you soaked in lye and whip me, put me in a bath full of milk, and then put me to bed, so when they find us in the morning we are both alive and I’m no longer a man eating snake

Would you still love me then??

Haha babe ur so sexy~

Read more Crow Time @ crow-time.com 💙

@thenightfolknetwork daily affirmations

to any wizards who might find this on their dash, click keep reading 👇

your. incantantaions. are. impressive.

people are bewildered and amazed by your magical abilities, even if you don't hear people talking about them.

your spells are potent. they are influential on their environment.

your robes are lavish, and they are not overly gaudy. your brain is lying to you.

💖💖💖

Yknow how Paul looks like this at beanies in NPMD?

Jon’s got wet hair because he just took out all the green from being Wiggly.

BUT

It’s hilarious to just think Paul is so fucking anxious about giving Emma his number he’s just, standing their sweating his fucking ass off.

EDIT: I FUCKED UP. THE SUMMONING HASN’T EVEN HAPPENED YET. HE JUST LOOK LIKE THAT Y’ALL

Podcast of the Day: Monstrous Agonies

Monstrous Agonies by H.R. Owen

The Hook: From werewolves in the doghouse to new ghouls at work, there's no problem too strange for this weekly advice segment, from the UK's only dedicated radio service for the creature community.

Favourite Line: When I referenced 'bridezilla' in the introduction to one of our letters, I spoke unthinkingly, and caused distress and hurt to our listeners in the kaiju community. I sincerely apologise, and take full responsibility for my careless perpetuation of this harmful stereotype. Thank you to everyone who got in touch to bring this to my attention. - Episode 3

Thoughts: Monstrous Agonies is very relaxing listen. H.R. Owens as the Presenter has one of the smoothest voices in the podsphere that's always a joy to hear. They have a brilliant talent for giving the distinctive voices to those writing in for advice.

The show is about people from the creature community writing in for advice about love, relationships, and awkward situations that apply to their unique situations that come from being supernatural beings. Lots of the advice given is very good advice that might cross over to human listeners tuning into the podcast as well.

Episodes are bite-sized with two letters per episode and it's a very easy podcast to fall into for a few hours, especially if you're looking for something positive and soothing.

Transcripts Available: Yes

Patreon: Yes

Lupines, Ghouls, Banshees, Trolls, Questing-Beasts, Apparitions (LGBTQA) Characters: Yes

If You Liked: Solutions to Problems, Murray Mysteries, Love and Luck, or Neighbourly you might like Monstrous Agonies

Enjoying Monstrous Agonies? Please reblog and spread the word. Podcasts are usually passion projects and need the support of their listeners to get the word out. Catch you later!

I LOVE EMILY CARROLL YOU SHOULD LOVE EMILY CARROLL WE LIVE FOR EMILY CARROLL

Emily Carroll

@thenightfolknetwork

@thenightfolknetwork

Travelers, please DO NOT interact with any fortune-telling machines in unusual places. There has been an increase in reports of these carnival animatronics escaping into the wild to feast on the futures of the unassuming public. If you see one, contact your local fairground, where the machine will be safely transported and returned to its healthy diet of pocket change from local tourists.

Safe Travels,

Rigel M.

Me remembering Undertale

I’m having a meltdown. When I was 9 years old I read an article in a magazine called Backyard Adventures about how this antelope, the saiga, was on the verge of extinction. I enlisted the help of my best friend and launched a fundraising campaign called Save the Saigas. We sold lemonade, had bake sales, sold belongings, yelled at strangers as they passed in their cars. Our parents were able to match the money we made. Our school helped. It wasn’t much, it didn’t save them, but it helped the organization at least a little bit.

Y’all. The saigas have been saved. A little piece of my passionate child heart that has seemed hopelessly lost and endlessly disappointed for a long time feels so soothed. Maybe it’s not all hopeless. Maybe our efforts aren’t a complete waste. Maybe we keep trying and actually hope for the best.