Silent Walls

i think i am so enamored with devotion as violence, because i want someone to love me even when i am covered in blood. most days, i am more teeth than lips. more claws than hands. more desperation than gentleness. if i am to love, i want it to consume me as surely as a forest fire. when the smoke has cleared, trees will grow stronger than before. i will only let my wounds be tended to by someone unafraid of gore, and i fear softness hurts more than any double edged sword. if i am to be loved, let it be in a slaughterhouse we might make into a home. then the heartache will be holy. and i will be whole.

― Fyodor Dostoevsky, The Brothers Karamazov

“I didn’t want to wake up. I was having a much better time asleep. And that’s really sad. It was almost like a reverse nightmare, like when you wake up from a nightmare you’re so relieved. I woke up into a nightmare.”

— Ned Vizzini

“What’s most important in a friendship? Tolerance and loyalty.”

— J.K. Rowling

this. this one.

“Growing Around Grief”

Lois Tonkin, 1996

“The fact that someone else loves you doesn’t rescue you from the project of loving yourself.”

— Sahaj Kohli

I just can't get u out of my head

Why does my mind travel back to that moment on the bench so much?

When i keep telling everyone and myself that i do not miss you?

Why does my mind wander everytime back to you?

Why is it that i compare everyone that comes close to me with you?

Tell me...

I would ask you if i could, but i can't

{Franz Kafka Letters to Milena/ Franz Kafka, The Blue Octavo Notebooks}