“You’ve Got To Find Yourself First. Everything Else’ll Follow.”

i think i am so enamored with devotion as violence, because i want someone to love me even when i am covered in blood. most days, i am more teeth than lips. more claws than hands. more desperation than gentleness. if i am to love, i want it to consume me as surely as a forest fire. when the smoke has cleared, trees will grow stronger than before. i will only let my wounds be tended to by someone unafraid of gore, and i fear softness hurts more than any double edged sword. if i am to be loved, let it be in a slaughterhouse we might make into a home. then the heartache will be holy. and i will be whole.

“I didn’t want to wake up. I was having a much better time asleep. And that’s really sad. It was almost like a reverse nightmare, like when you wake up from a nightmare you’re so relieved. I woke up into a nightmare.”

— Ned Vizzini

in my heart it is not dark

the rain is pouring and shattering on the floor

like glas

bursting into million pieces

pain freezing like ice

but burning myself

fading away

Seeing you

far far away

unreachable

but still so close.

i’m tired, can’t think of anything and want only to lay my face in your lap, feel your hand on my head and remain like that through all eternity.

drowning in thoughts

but words full of desert

why am i cold

but burning away?

The purest form of love is consideration. When someone thinks about how things would make you feel. Pays attention to detail. Holds you in regard when making decisions that could affect you. In any bond, how much they care about you can be found in how much they consider you

“I am a different person to different people. Annoying to one. Talented to another. Quiet to a few. Unknown to a lot. But who am I, to me?”

— Unknown

this. this one.