Annoyingasexual - Senza Titolo

If you see this on your dashboard, reblog this, NO MATTER WHAT and all your dreams and wishes will come true.

A proposal

Sometimes, in fandom, we just want to write id-tastic fic that rolls around in tropes that might be viewed as problematic. But we don’t want to address the problematic side of things in this particular fanwork; we just want to roll around and wallow.

It is considered courteous to give readers a heads-up via use of AO3 tags. I propose a tag that signals that a given fanwork is for rolling around, not giving a measured evaluation of anything. The MCU has carved out a space for this sort of fic with the “HYDRA Trash Party” tag, for which I commend them. Trash Party is a bit too specific to cover all of the ground I’m thinking of here, though; I propose “Dead Dove: Do Not Eat.”

For those of you not familiar with Arrested Development, Michael Bluth finds a paper bag in the freezer labeled “Dead Dove: Do Not Eat.” He opens the bag, finds a dead dove, and reacts as follows:

[gif of a white man saying “I don’t know what I expected” in a deadpan manner]

The “Dead Dove: Do Not Eat” tag would essentially be a “what it says on the tin” metatag, indicating “you see the tropes and concepts tagged here? they are going to appear in this fic. exactly as said. there will not necessarily be any subversion, authorial commentary condemning problematic aspects, or meditation on potential harm. this fic contains dead dove. if you proceed, you should expect to encounter it.”

(more at KnowYourMeme: http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/i-dont-know-what-i-expected)

all of you making Avatar-Rio comparisons are wrong.

THIS IS NOT QUARITCH. Eytukan is Eduardo!!!! the father of the girl and leader of the tribe who is harsh and hostile towards the protagonist at first because of his human ways, but eventually warms up to him and accepts him.

Neytiri and Jake of course are Jewel and Blu. the beautiful girl from the rainforest who is very fierce and rooted in the ways of her people and who dislikes and mistrusts humans because they destroyed her home + the boy who was raised with human ways but eventually learns, thanks to the girl, how to follow her traditions (while still maintaining a lot of human traits) and whose human skills actually end up being helpful to fight and drive away the human invaders who are trying to destroy the forest for their own selfish economic gain

Tsu'tey is Roberto (childhood friend of the girl who seems like a possible love interest, but ultimately isn’t, he’s her father’s favorite and the better warrior who knows the ways of the clan/tribe, he’s at odds with the protagonist at first but ends up trusting him and fighting at his side)

the kids obviously (rip Neteyam i guess Rio predicted your death)

and this is Quaritch. it’s Nigel. the villain who is extremely skilled, proficient and cruel, who was believed dead at the end of the first movie, but returned to get his revenge (with a new gang) and followed the family into the jungle

yeah he doesn’t have white hair anymore. but it’s still him. look at the evil smile. same person

This will never NOT be funny

Different clans (including the metkayina) visiting the omaticaya form time to time and meeting Spider. At first they are like "what is this demon doing here?", then they get to know him and are like "Oh dear, oh dear, gorgeous". Maybe after the Sullys flee to Awa’atlu, Tonowari asks about Spider and Jack being a dumbass says that one of the reasons they left was because spider was taken and could betray them. Cue in everyone roasting the shit out of them.

at first, after they got over him being human, they only really know him as the kid who lurks outside the meeting hut door, his golden hair peeking around the corner, with a smile that could light up the world. eventually he gets invited in and he'll stand awkwardly behind jake, always finding ways to be helpful, fetching water or tending the fire, flashing his smile to all the cheifs and tsahiks, bowing his head when he greet them. they think he's fricking adorable, and eventually build up his trust with them, till he finds the courage to sit with them during meetings, joining them after for meals, generally just being at ease with them.

spider is truly the reason some of them travel all the way to see the toruk makto so often, bringing their kids along so spider had someone to play with during the meetings. they feel ashamed for how they had judged him because he is truly the sweetest kid they have ever met, and they often question why jake does not do more to claim him, why the boy does not go to climb on his father like his siblings do, why he addresses him as sir, why he seems uneasy when urged to go back to his family hut to sleep.

then the sully's wind up in the metkayina village, without the boy, and both tonowari and ronal feel a sense of dread in their guts. when they ask where he is and jake says they left him with the demons? they almost murdered him, right there, they genuinely want to turn the family away. but, they want to find spider, and they know that if they keep the sully's around, that gets them a little closer to he boy, gives them a few extra hands to bring him back.

ronal does make a promise to the sully's, when they bring spider home, he will no longer be their child, their pet, their stray. he will be taken into the tonowari family where he'll actually be cherished.

god forbid the other clans, like the ta'unui, recognize and/or find out spider had been taken. they will flip on jake so fast.

Happiness Will Come To You.

a silly thought, but i don’t know why people keep comparing the Omatikaya to lions when they are clearly jaguars. lions are savannah animals they would more suited for plain clans like the Zeswa. Zeswa definitely give lion vibes. but the forest Na'vi are undoubtedly jaguars. they live in the jungle and everything. also Jake is a black jaguar since he’s an Avatar, so it parallels a panther’s mutation.

Neytiri and Jake

Neytiri and Lo'ak

Jake and Kiri

Neytiri with Kiri and Lo'ak

Neytiri and Tuk

If I may once again dip my toe into the discourse surrounding Greek Mythology, a lot of people like to rewrite or reframe the story of Medusa, and that’s great! Highly encourage it. But, DON’T YOU DARE GO AND DEMONIZE MY BOY PERSEUS!

Perseus isn’t some vile misogynist who hunts down and murders Medusa for the hell of it. He’s a scared kid who’s trying to save his mom from a forced marriage (whom herself has been a victim of terrible abuse from her father) to a creepy evil king and gets duped by the Gods into cleaning up their mess for them. He’s not the villain, he’s just another pawn. So if I see one more motherfucker trying to make him out to be the “real monster” I will throw hands.

You know what would be way more interesting?! Medusa sees Perseus rolling up to her crib and freaks out cause ‘holy shit this is a fucking kid. a fucking toddler with a sword and shield.’ and they hash it out and then TEAM UP to kill the evil kind trying to force marry Perseus’ mother! Think of the dynamics that you could write! The interactions that could occur. I mean, one of ‘em is gonna have to wear a blindfold but hey, minor problems.

What I’m saying is, gimme a buddy cop movie where Perseus and Medusa team up to fight evil in Ancient Greece.