“You Can’t Adopt Me! I Already Have Parents.”

I have more doodles you guys are in luck

“You’re late again.”

“I had to stop a bank robbery.”

“That’s no excuse.”

“There were hostages!”

“I don’t care.”

“Sure, you wouldn’t. You’re a villain.”

“Ex-villain.”

“Yeah right, you think anyone’s going to buy that?”

“…I’ll have to set up a parent-teacher conference to discuss your frequent tardiness.”

“Ha! Jokes on you pal, I don’t even have parents!”

Oh my goodness thank you so much I love you

Hi

I am desperately searching for a batfamily fic that goes "5 times the kids called Bruce dad and the one time he called them his children". I forgot to save it now I can't find it please help me I'm begging you-

"Honey?" [Villain] leaned on the window frame.

"Go away." [Hero] grumbled. "I 'cheated' on you. Remember?"

"No, that was [Civilian]'s heart you squashed." [Villain] snorted, caressing the poor hero's face. "When I wear this costume, I'm your secret criminal lover. The one you made out with in the parking lot."

"Shut up!"

"They're never going to let you out of this cell, knowing who you are." [Villain] pouted. "It's nearly impossible for anyone to look at you the same way again."

"I wish you could've just broke up with me instead of resorting to such low tactics." [Hero] mumbled. "It's not working, I'm not coming to join you so easily."

"Pumpkin, you're going to end up being a villain either way." Their lover laughed. "Whether you come crying back into my arms or not, I'm going to love seeing you turn into a monster."

Ooh any prompts for hero x villain marriages of convenience?

CW: Some of these involve a forced relationship and could be toxic depending on how it’s written and the intentions of the characters.

1. When Supervillain takes over the city, Hero can’t risk seeming like a threat, so they lure their old nemesis, Villain, into a marriage proposal to get closer to Supervillain’s inner circle.

2. Villain and Hero are both tired of being ridiculed for their eternal singleness thanks to their jobs. One breakdown and marriage ceremony later, they can finally rub it in everyone’s faces that they’re not alone anymore.

3. When tensions in the city rise to dangerous proportions, Hero and Villain agree something must be done to bring peace. As the heads of their organizations, they decide marriage is the quickest and most symbolic bridge they can build between their teams before they rip each other apart.

4. Hero needs financial support and Villain needs a better civilian cover for their villain identity. They’re a match made in…convenience.

5. Hero isn’t exactly friends with villain, but they don’t want them dead either. So when the agency puts a kill order on Villain’s villain persona, they allow them to temporarily crash at their place. But when their colleagues unexpectedly show up they both panic and up lying that they are Hero’s fiancé. Now they’re goinf through with the wedding for the sake of Hero’s honor and Villain’s survival.

6. (A classic) Villain/Supervillain has the means to take over or destroy the city. They will only stand down if Hero agrees to marry them.

7. (Not so classic) Hero has the power to kill/destroy the lives of Villain’s criminal team unless the agree to surrender and marry them.

8. Villain has a dangerous ex who wants to get back together. When Villain panics about what to do, Hero suggests getting married and annulling it later once Villain feels safe.

9. Villain and Hero temporarily team up for the greater good, and go undercover as a married couple. Worried that people might investigate the legitimacy of their relationship, they get married for real.

10. Hero and Villain have had long but not very lucrative careers in their respective roles. They can only afford retirement it if they put their money together, and they figure getting married will simplify the whole thing.

11. When Hero/Villain is going to be forced into marriage, their nemesis offers to step in and marry them instead. Hero/Villain figures anyone is better than their current option and agrees.

12. Villain/Hero accidentally proposes to their nemesis and now they don’t have the heart to tell them it was a misunderstanding. Married life is actually kind of nice.

Hello, I have a prompt request for a hero’s failed attempts to escape an arranged marriage with the villain, hope you’re having a good fall!

“I do hope getting married in secret before we could be engaged wasn’t your plan, was it? You see, no one would dare touch you. Not when you’re meant to be mine, not when they know what I would do to them.”“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”“Oh,” said the villain, holding up the plans that the hero was sure they had burned in the fireplace, “don’t you?”

—–

“Just let me go!” they cried. “You don’t love me, and I don’t love you. What are you forcing me to stay for, your own sick enjoyment? Just to watch me drown in misery?”“I keep you for the status,” the villain replied, crisp and entirely businesslike. “Because you’re my conquest, the symbol of my victory. You should be glad I let you roam free as my partner-to-be, rather than keeping you in a cage as a trophy.”

—–

They had evaded the staff, the security, the dogs and the motion sensors, the cameras and the keypads. Now they stood at the edge of the villain’s property, with only a chainlink fence separating them from freedom.A chainlink fence, and the villain themself. “You weren’t trying to escape, were you?” The villain fluttered their eyelashes, a cruel smile playing on their lips. “After all, that might hurt my feelings. You wouldn’t want to risk that, would you?”

—–

if you like these prompts, consider buying me a coffee?

Dear Closeted People On Tumblr...

How do I pretend to be straight?

What do straight people talk about? How do I sit properly? How do I make it seem like I'm not distracted by a girl's beauty and I am indeed enchanted by the non-existing handsomeness of a boy? How does one breath in a gay panic?

“What is this?”

“My apartment.”

“No it’s not. It’s a violation of human rights. This place is a total dump.”

“Hey, being a superhero isn’t exactly very lucrative. It’s hard to hold on to a steady 9-to-5 when I have to stop you and your friends from wrecking the city everyday.”

“Oh. I…I didn’t know.” Beat. “I could give you some money if you want.”

“I don’t want anything from you! Just, lie down on the couch while I go get the first aid kit from the bathroom.”

“Yeah, I don’t think so. That couch looks like it came from a dumpster. I bet I’ll get tetanus if I so much as touch it.”

“If you don’t like it, you know where the door is.”

“Fine. I’ll lie down on your dumpster couch. Chances are I’ll bleed out before I die of infection anyway.”

“You’re not going to die, unfortunately.”

“I heard that.”

“Good. I meant for you to hear that. Now hold still, this is going to hurt.”

You know what I love...

Villains who have their agenda's, have their plans to topple the system and create their own in its place. They're so full of anger and bitterness that they vow to crush those that rule.

And still look at the hero in front of them and say "I'm not going to fight you."

Because this isn't their fight.

There simply tools

And their so young its cruel to thrust them into this...a fight that they will surely die from.

The child doesn't listen but the Villain only blocks, their attacks are weak, untrained and raw and it wouldn't take much to kill them off. But the Villain won't, how can you repair a broken world if you crush the products it created.

The source must be changed, ripped right from the top and so they will not hurt the hero...they let them go and see them again and again... Each time they look worst for wear.

Help is offered but always refused until one day.. Until one day they can no longer attack and sob and cry for help. Their bleeding from wounds they hastily call training and it breaks the bad guys heart.

It only strengthens their resolve, to end those selfish egotistical spawns...Who sit comfortably on their thrones using children as pawns.

"You're a child." Villain spat out, horrified as they stared into the wide eyes of their clearly underage rival.

"Wh-no I'm not!" Hero yelped, then winced as the higher pitch gave them away further. They hunched into themselves, subconsciously trying to appear even smaller.

"Where are your parents?!" Villain demanded, storming forward to grab Hero by the shoulders, "do they know you're fu-freaking doing this?!" Angry as they were, Villain tried not to swear - kids didn't need to hear that kind of language, after all.

"..."

Hero averted their watering eyes, trembling as Villain stared them down. They'd never seen the other so furious.

"I don't..." they licked dry lips nervously, "I don't have parents."

Villain's mind went black for a moment, vision filling with the shivering form of the literal child they'd been fighting.

"...you're an Orphan," it wasn't a question, but instead a surprisingly bland statement, "of course you are."

Something in Villain's tone made Hero look up, made them gaze into the unwavering form of their adversary, where they found a glint of determination in the other's eyes.

"Screw it-" they scooped Hero into their arms, ignoring the spluttering and struggling, "you need someone to keep an eye on you, and I've always wanted kids."

"I'm your parent now Hero"