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Im going to give my blog a fresh start

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I feel like March is Orange, he is giving orange idk why, it fits the handsome lad very much. Yes March is a boy... No further queries...

Woke up... Late - sink routine - skipped stretch again... - had only black coffee and one toast as breakkie - read a classic - listen to substack - OH EM GEE I FORGOT TO TAKE A PIC OF MY LUNCH : FRIED SWEET POTATO, TRUST ME😌👌- the scroll of doom - thought of march resolutions; will share tomorrow - played LADS - made whipped coffee - touched some grass, coz my phone was dying and there was no electricity/WiFi - made dalgona for funsies - simped over older men - watch Lucifer - shower - dinner + Luci - now bed time + more Luci.

Also look at this tweet of mine that NOBODY liked. Furthermore, my friend is fed up of me 💔

What's wrong with liking Hannibal, Dr. House, and Lucifer? Clearly, I have a type 🙄.

open.substack.com

Let it Be Ugly

so you can access the precious side.

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I did my laundry today 😊

Surprisingly made me feel good, consider this a thing to add to your to-do list if you haven't already.

Also I'm not privileged enough to have a washing machine at my disposal and I've got to wash everything by Hand for 2.5hrs, so saying laundry was a feel-good activity isn't a light praise.

However, I had some bad cramps, I've been cramping since last night and I think I'll get my period tomorrow and it might hurt so bad I will get hallucinations like last time (tmi I know, sorry)

Apart from laundry, I did breakfast today, ran some errands, and well, survived the day.

There is no WiFi rn, apparently all routers of the same network provider (which is basically half the country) are experiencing difficulties atm, hopefully they'll fix it tomorrow.

I've been binging Lucifer (Netflix) and mannnnnn, I love that series so much it might be my fav, it's so funny and silly and intriguing. I'm particularly drawn to Lucifer himself, the actor (Tom Ellis 😽🫶🏾) played the role so well I was annoyed yet pulled in by his arrogance and cocky manner. Well let's not even begin with his handsome face 😼🙂‍↕️ mmmhhmmm🫦 (sorry, guys that's the hormones speaking)

7/10 day, oki bye

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Idk what happened to the post I just made but basically:

I'm sick and tired man, I just wanna go home.

I don't have money. I only got for transport to the bus station and money for the ticket back home, I mean, I don't mind not eating shit since I do fasting alot but goddammit.

I don't know if I'll even have money to call my driver to pick me up once I reach. URGHHHHH fml

0/10 day

I'm writing using my mobile browser and it's just Urgh take me homeeee ☹️

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Today I ate kale, made myself a really ugly salad... Soooo not pictured lol, my skin is doing better - something seems to be wrong but I'll be just fine. Tho I didn't have time to exercise I did feel like it, maybe I should squeeze a stretch before bed to satisfy that craving. I also made some oat cookies :D!!!! And had quite the productive conversation with my best friend

how to isolate and grow⋆.ೃ࿔*:･💶

quick disclaimer : when i say "isolate" i dont mean the negative connotation of self isolation where you push everyone away, i mean the laying back and rly focusing and tapping into urself BY yourself.

accessibility : limit people's accessibility to you, or narrow down how many people you allow to access you. ur energy is SACRED ur time is a privilege. its important that ur no longer looking for outlets in people.

during this time of stepping back and being super picky with how and who u spend ur time with its the perfect opportunity to separate urself from the toxicity that some people in ur life might bring. in that same breath, its easier said for friends then it is for family members because when u think isolation ur probably thinking of being a home-body which is a part of it. but if ur home is whats making u sick then try and spend time AWAY of the home to do whatever u need to do.

self awareness and responsibility : take a moment and be truly objective with urself. practice having the difficult conversations with urself. u know ur goals, but are u the person that can have those goals? and if not, how can u get to become that person.

this is also the time to address things that you've been sweeping under the rug. address anything thats starting to become a problem and address bigger problems in ur life. we wanna be able to take responsibility for ourselves and PROBLEM SOLVE. be super clear on what u wanna focus on during ur self isolation period and WHY you are choosing to do this.

find a mentor : find someone who resonates with you, whether it be online or in person, who is living the life that YOU wanna live or living a life similar to one that u wanna live. u dont have to have just one mentor, it can be multiple mentors for different aspects of ur life that u wanna improve. ur mentors dont even need to know you honestly, just someone u look up to

detox ur brain : mental diet. mindset is EVERYTHING as you know if you've been consuming my content lately. everything and i mean EVERYTHING begins in the brain. the thoughts that u think today will be what u experience tomorrow. speak to urself nicely, throw away old thoughts that dont align with ur dreams and replace them with positive ones thru repetition, fixed attention and practice

do brain dumps before u go to bed, its good to get out all of the thoughts in ur head before u go to sleep, out of ur brain and onto a piece of paper or something else in general. it doesn't have to be in a negative connotation either, write down ideas that pass thru ur head, goals, inspirations etc.

clean out : anything that u tend to cling to, whether its devices, drugs, drinking etc. practice fasting from it. it doesn't have to be extreme, just taking a break from it REGULARLY will improve it so much. an analogy i like to use for gradual change like this is with a rubber band. if u stretch the rubber band as far as it can go too quickly then it'll break, however if u gradually stretch the rubber band little by little, you can stretch it super far and it won't break.

experimentation : while ur self isolating this is the perfect opportunity to experiment with ur physical. dye ur hair a color that you've always been wanting it to. grow ur hair a couple inches, take extra good care of ur skin, experiment with different clothing styles. become ur own MUSE.

with that being said i wish everyone luck and blessings as you isolate and grow 🫶🏽

Monday Musings - 030225

Today was a 7/10 kind of day—pleasant, with moments of comfort and chaos all together.

The morning started off easy, though I felt a little achy. Still, nothing a good breakfast couldn’t fix. I made my uncle’s meal and treated myself to a sausage sandwich—sautéed sausage and veggies tucked between slices of bread, crisped to perfection in the sandwich maker. Paired with white coffee, it was divine. I might switch things up with pancakes the day after tomorrow.

Then came the mall run. I stocked up on fruits and juice boxes for my little cousin’s lunch, got bread for tomorrow’s breakfast, and picked up kale and spinach for dinner. The plan was to buy liver, but the supermarket had none—so I went with goat instead. A blessing in disguise, because the goat soup we made turned out amazing. Rich, hearty, with mixed greens on the side—chef’s kiss.

The afternoon took a turn. We left for my sister’s place, a trip that should’ve been 30–40 minutes but stretched into a nightmare of traffic. An hour and 35 minutes of constant stopping and starting left me car sick beyond belief. The nausea was unbearable, so I did the only reasonable thing—knocked out and slept through it.

Once we arrived, the visit was lovely. My uncle had his time with my sister before his travels, and we stayed until nightfall. The drive back? A blessing—30 minutes, no sickness, just a smooth ride home. A peaceful ending to a day that had its ups and downs.

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Life is unfair yall. Tell me why the power went off for LIKE 2 HOURS , my phone died, no WiFi, and it comes back on at midnight.... AND I LOST MY POST 💔💔💔💔

The Dance of Fate and Free Will

Do we really have free will, or is everything already mapped out for us?

It's the kind of question that's kept philosophers, poets, and theologians up at night for ages. Just asking it feels like standing on a beach, staring out at this massive ocean where what's logical and what's just plain mysterious kind of blend together. If it's all predetermined, then are our choices just an act? Are we just going through the motions in a play we didn't even write? But if we do have free will, then what's setting the limits on what we want, what we can do, and those invisible walls that pop up in our lives?

This push and pull – this back-and-forth between fate and our own choices – it's really what being human is all about, isn't it?

The Illusion of Choice

We like to think we're in the driver's seat, right? Every day, we get up and decide what to wear, what to eat, who to love, who to say goodbye to, and the kind of person we want to become. The world tells us if we just try hard enough, if we're disciplined and really want it, we can create any future we can imagine. "You can be anything," they say. But, can we, really?

Think about how life actually plays out. The family we're born into, the country we call home, the body we're in, those moments of pure luck or just plain bad luck that shape us – we didn't pick any of that. Someone born into a wealthy family in a rich country will never know what it's like for a kid born into war somewhere else. Someone who bumps into their soulmate on a train – are they really more deserving of love than someone who just happened to be on a different train that day? So much of who we become, it's just not in our hands, no matter how much we wish it was.

Even neuroscientists are saying our brains make decisions before we even realize it. If a machine can guess which button you're gonna press before you even "choose" it, what does that tell us about free will? Are we just following a script, but we're tricked into thinking we're the ones writing it?

The Beauty of Predestination

And yet, there's something strangely comforting about the idea that it's all already decided. If fate is a real thing, then nothing is truly wasted. The heartbreaks, the screw-ups, the chances we missed – they all had to happen exactly like they did. You were never meant to end up with that person, never meant to get that job, never meant to be anywhere else but right here, right now. In a way, it takes this huge, exhausting weight of regret right off our shoulders.

Some of the most peaceful people I've ever met are the ones who truly believe in destiny. They just trust that what's meant for them will find them, and what's not will just fade away. They move through life with this quiet confidence, like they're not even bothered by problems. There's a kind of beauty in just letting go and going with the flow, seeing life as something that just unfolds, instead of something we have to fight and control all the time.

But Then Again, What If?

But even if it's all predetermined, does that mean we should just give up and do nothing? If a river already knows it's going to end up in the ocean, does it just stop flowing?

Maybe free will isn't about controlling everything, the whole grand plan, but about how we feel it. Maybe the whole point is just the joy of making choices, of having dreams, of just acting on whatever we feel like doing in the moment. Even if your future is set in stone, isn't there something exciting about not knowing what's around the corner? If fate is real, then so is the amazing thing of being clueless about it. You still get to feel things, to move, to chase after whatever calls to you. And isn't that a kind of freedom in itself?

Think about this: Say your fate is to become a painter. But the second you pick up a brush for the first time, it just clicks. It feels like your choice, like you discovered something amazing. That feeling of joy, it was always going to happen, but that doesn't make it any less real, does it? Maybe you were always meant to read this, to think about this, to feel that little spark of "aha!" Maybe even the feeling of free will is part of the plan, and isn't that actually kind of a relief?

So, whether you're team fate or team free will, live like your choices actually matter. Love like it wasn't already written in the stars. Create like it wasn't a done deal. Because, when you think about it, if destiny does exist, it's probably already figured in your rebellious side anyway.

With thoughts of G♡

Tuesday Musings - 040225

Guys I'm too tired rn ngl, it's currently 23:06pm, I will edit later but just to sum everything up: was planning on sleeping the entire day but my friend and her sister came to visit meee!!!!! >o<. Then we went to her sister uni to drop her off for her afternoon class and we waited nearby and had fun chatting :D then I remembered I had another friend2 in the same uni and so I told her I was around and she too had a class and came out 3hrs later shortly after my friendinlaw (my friends sister lmao) we chilled for a bit b4 friend2 invited us to her student dorms but I had to leave cos my uncle wanted to go out with all of the family so I dunt get to even enjoy 30mins in the dorm :(

but yeah, 9/10 day