I Cannot Believe This

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Guys the CRAZIEST thing happened to me today... I PAINTED😨😱

I know you're like, huh??. But like I really dislike using color or paint to do faces, I've been forever loyal to pencil and charcoal. Ive only use acrylic to paint 3 abstract pieces which is impressive considering I also dislike abstract works but I had to force myself to get rid of the impostor syndrome 😍.

Anyway so I made myself countdown from 5, so that I could immediately get out of bed and do something. I was thinking of painting but then I was like ehhh, but then I told myself 'NAH IN 5 SECS YOU GET TF UP!!!' so I did.

The butterfly effect is real, coz what if I didn't get up to paint...then I would've never found out that I am ridiculously good at painting for someone who hasn't EVER painted portraits before, and has only been obsessing over old art masters.

I can't believe that this is the FIRST go, and I'm just that good at it, despite THE FACT THAT I NEVER PRACTICED painting 😭

I'd stay FAR away from even ATTEMPTING to go thru trail and error with paints 😭. But youre telling me I'm just a pro like that 👏even if all I do is use pencil and look at my black n white portraits...

This is your sign to do something so freaking random, you'll never know, maybe you're talented at it 😌

how to embrace being alone⋆.ೃ࿔*:･✍🏽🎀

learning to be alone is such a crucial thing to learn at all times during your life, but especially during your youth. and something to understand is that sometimes, protecting your peace comes at the cost of being alone but being alone is peaceful! and not as bad as you might think that it is.

being alone offers an opportunity for self discovery and growth and rest and relaxation and reflection and the list goes ON. being able to enjoy your own company is a SUPER power bcuz it genuinely nourishes you so much.

ENJOYING UR OWN COMPANY ;

you dont have to be codependent on someone else to make yourself happy or to make yourself feel good. what fulfills you and nourishes you isnt the relationships that u have with others. although that is an amazing and fulfilling thing, the most fulfilling thing is learning yourself. being alone REPLENISHES you, its like, hydration for the soul.

dont wait on someone else to do something that you wanna do!! if u dont have anyone to go with, just go on your own. you dont have to wait on others to be happy…💬🎀

PRACTICE BEING ALONE ;

go on solo dates, practice planning to do something fun and just doing it by yourself. once you start doing things alone and you see how nice it feels, you'll want to do it more bcuz its so easy to enjoy your own company, you just have to get over your fear of judgement or of being alone and learn to enjoy and embrace it.

♡ have a spa day

♡ learn to cook a new dish

♡ read a book

♡ have a journalling session

♡ schedule appointments for urself

♡ go on a long drive

SOME BENEFITS OF ENJOYING UR OWN COMPANY ;

♡ u can be urself without filter

♡ less distractions and u give urself time to ponder and look internally

♡ ur in control of ur space and time

♡ u can be creative and imaginative without reference

♡ its peaceful

BEING UR OWN BESTFRIEND ;

treat yourself how you'd treat someone that you valued a lot. be compassionate and understanding and respectful. dont talk badly about yourself and dont be mean to/punish yourself bcuz u wouldn't do that to someone that u loved and cherished…💬🎀

dont abandon yourself in times where life can become stressful. focus on being present and dont forget your worth. your self worth and value doesn’t come from how useful you are to others, your valuable simply because you are you. a human being who is deserving of love. your worth doesnt come from how productive you are or what you’ve achieved, instead your worth is already done and your valuable because of your existence. 

COPING WITHOUT FRIENDS ;

everything is temporary and meaningful relationships will always find their way to you. just understand that some ppl are here temporarily and some ppl are here for a lifetime but only you are here for all of it which is why its important to be alone and be comfy with that.

not everyone is gonna like you or wanna be your friend and thats okay. it has nothing to do with you and is almost always simply because of different personalities and its not personal

brush off rejections bcuz rejection is just redirection. when you dont take everything personally you'll notice how much happier you'll be overall.

know that the meaningful relationships and connections that u crave will come!! no one is here to be alone forever so you'll meet the people who pour into you and you'll meet ppl that u can pour into and you'll be okay!!

overall, enjoying your own company does wonders for your mental and physical health and its a useful skill to learn in general because it brings so much peace from being able to sit with your thoughts…💬🎀

Trolling sm rn

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Fixed my old iPhone 6 plus 🥹❤️‍🩹 (I'm sick of it)

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Need to be my mc since yesterday, she's gorge I wanted her more than matthias 😻😼

Yes I play interactive games like THTH, episodes and choices or wtv AND LADS<3. What else was i gonna say bout it.... Speaking of, I should get episodes again, I'm done with too hot to handle already 😝.

It’s All About Perspective:

Sometimes, all it takes is a quarter turn.

That dried paint blob: smeared, ugly, accidental — can become a dancing figure with big shoes, a biker, an abstract expression, if you just tilt it. And what if your life is the same? What if you’re not broken, lazy, or lost, but simply looking at your own story from the wrong side?

We’ve all been there. Hair greasy, phone hot from hours of scrolling, a million open tabs and zero opened dreams. You’re rotting in bed, flicking from one TikTok to another, laughing, then crying, then dissociating, watching other people live out the things you swore you’d do. It’s addicting. Comfortable. Even aesthetic. "Girl rot" became a moodboard, for Christ's sake but no one tells you that staying there too long leaves you hollow.

But here’s the truth, my dear angels: you’re not the paint blob. You’re the hand turning the page. You decide the angle.

So how do you shift perspective when everything feels heavy? When life is a loop of doomscrolls, late-night existential spirals, and the occasional burst of fake motivation?

You start slow. You start small. You turn the page.

Maybe I'll post something about this topic tomorrow :)

Your Life’s Not Boring—You’re Just on Your Phone Too Much

If you’ve been feeling glued to your phone—especially apps like TikTok and Instagram—you’re not alone. So many of us are stuck in this loop, and it can seriously mess with our energy, motivation, and overall health.

One thing I’ve struggled most with lately is comparison. Feeling like what I do just isn’t... enough. If you’ve felt that too, this post is for us both. A little reminder that:

✨ You are enough, just as you are. ✨ You’ve survived every hard day, and your inner child and I are so proud of you. Don't ever forget how far you've come as a person! If all you did was make your bed and hydrate today, that's a win worth celebrating. You're doing just fine, and you'll do all that you wish to on your own divine timing.

And yes, your life isn’t boring. You might just be too distracted to see how beautiful it really is. So instead of escaping it, let’s try to romanticize it!

10 Ways to Romanticize Your Life & Be More Present

Wake up a little earlier. It doesn’t have to be 5 AM (unless that’s your thing). Even an hour earlier can give you quiet time to get things done without distractions.

Take an "everything shower." These are pretty meditative for me in a way. I like to imagine the water washing off all my stress and stagnant energy I may have accumulated throughout the day. Like a reset button!

Make a breakfast you’d actually get out of bed early for. Pancakes? Fruit? Whatever makes your inner child happy.

Play jazz or soft instrumentals while doing everyday activities. Instant cozy vibes.

Read outside. Sitting on your porch or even by a window gives you that vitamin D and a fresh perspective.

Find a screen-less hobby you enjoy. Try crochet, painting, poetry, LEGO kits, pottery, etc. Block-building kits are my fave—they’re so fun and satisfying. Just remember to take breaks and stretch!

Re-watch something comforting or start something new. That show you keep skipping past might become your next obsession.

Connect. If you’ve been stuck in your room all day, talk to someone. Call a friend, hug your pet, or chat with family. A quick convo with my mom always boosts my mood!

Learn something new! When was the last time you went out of your way to explore something you didn’t already know? (and nope, school doesn’t count.) Take a moment to find a subject you’ve never looked into or dive deeper into one you already know a little about. Pick up on a new language, study an unfamiliar culture, or even try learning a random skill just for fun. Expanding your mind keeps life feeling fresh and exciting.

Travel (if you can). I can't stress this one enough!! Even just getting out of town for a single 24 hours can give you a whole new perspective. A change of scenery does wonders, especially when life feels repetitive. It doesn't have to be far, either. You can travel to the next city over and explore what it's like there!

Remember: Social media is NOT real life. That influencer who’s always partying in Miami with a closet full of designer bags? You’re seeing their highlight reel, not the full picture. Some even goes as far as faking luxury lifestyles for the views. Don’t compare your behind-the-scenes to someone else’s curated feed. At the end of the day, it's all for the aesthetics/entertainment.

Be gentle with yourself. You're doing better than you think, angel. xo, Kay 🪽

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First of all, and most importantly :

Alright then friend 👏

I saw other's march resolutions and added them to mine!

1. Find my thing –

Maybe it’s calligraphy, maybe it’s journaling with my bougie burgundy ink, maybe it’s playing chess in random places like a movie character… IDK, but I wanna start doing one of these consistently.

2. Upgrade my self-care, but in an “I barely tried” way –

Dry brushing before showers? Adding a lil’ dusting powder to my routine? Romanticizing my nail care? Just small tweaks to feel ✨ put together ✨ without effort.

3. Make my breakfasts pretty –

No more sad meals. Oat bowls, chia pudding, cute little clean girl plates; I deserve to wake up to aesthetic nourishment

4. Be mysterious in public –

Take a book or notebook to a café, maybe even write something cryptic. No phone scrolling, just pure main character energy.

5. Actually post on my website or YouTube at least ONCE –

No pressure, no perfectionism, just one thing to keep the creative flow going. I've already posted on my secret YouTube channel in both January and February; hopefully, I won't forget this month. However, the website...

6. Own ONE beautiful pen & make it my entire personality –

Maybe it’s a fountain pen, maybe it’s deep burgundy ink, but it has to feel

✨ significant ✨.

7. Find my signature scent & commit to it -

No more being indecisive. One perfume, one body oil, one dusting powder, I want people to associate a scent with me.

8. Buy ONE cool nostalgic gadget –

A flip phone, a Walkman, a Gameboy; something that makes me feel like I exist in my own timeline. I'll start with a flip phone but the ones I desire aren't available in my country 💔.

9. Get into a “smart girl” activity –

Sudoku, crossword puzzles, chess, calligraphy, collecting physical newspapers… something that makes me feel like an intellectual femme fatale. And no, it's not because the TikTok girls are yelling at me to be a 'smart girl'; I'm just genuinely tired of seeing myself like this. I want to be smarter, back to the old me.

10. Romanticize my grocery shopping –

Only buying food that fits the vision:

fresh bread, fancy butter, crunchy greens, avocados, dark chocolate, fancy salt (I’m eating like a Parisian poet.)

11. Be That Girl™ at the library –

Engage with specialized literature, take notes in the margins, and perhaps leave a tasteful anonymous note in a book for another reader to discover. 🤭 (I may be somewhat out of touch with reality).

12. Curate a tiny aesthetic corner in my room-

It could be a pretty tray with perfumes, a quick arts setup, or a candle-lit nightstand with my current reads. Just something that feels intentionally like me. Oh, I think a cute workout corner would be so me and motivational.

13. Get better at money but make it cute –

Set up a cash binder or start saving for one special thing (a new piercing, a luxury tea set, a really good pen? Who knows, most likely a piercing).

14. Wear something intentionally beautiful, even at home –

Silk pajamas? An old-money bathrobe? A delicate lace top? The standard for me is romanticized comfort.

15. Leave my house looking effortlessly elegant at least ONCE a week –

No more 'I just threw this on' when I actually just threw something on; a planned, unbothered but stunning outfit.

16. Sit outside for 10 minutes a day & just exist –

I am choosing to observe life without distractions, romanticizing the gentle wind, and letting others speculate about my thoughts.

17. Write one poetic sentence every day –

It could be in my journal, on my website, in the Notes app, or even just a phrase I think to myself.

18. Become an enigma (my friend's favourite word) –

Less talking, more observing. Text like I've got a secret. Smile like I know something they don't. Mwhehehe x.

Motto of my March:

Live at a leisurely pace while being attentive; we all share this beautiful earth and the same 24 hours, no more, no less.

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Brah, nothing much today as usual, I think I can even predict tomorrow accurate I'm not even joking. I'll wake up groggy, do my skin routine, either decide to fast longer, just take tea or coffee, or make a proper breakkie for myself, which is usually oats or like eggs and wtv.

I'm prepping to do a evening stretch or perhaps workout before bed actually.

Im getting nowhere with this drawing lol. Maybe I should test out my new pencils!

The answer to the previous poll was actually the Follicular Phase. The oat cookies really threw most of you off and made you choose the Luteal Phase, but I mentioned more Follicular activities than Luteal. That's my bad. OK, I'm done; my will to do the exercise is stronger than ever!

The Tragic Cycle of Wired Headphones: A Self-Reflection

You know that moment when you buy a fresh pair of wired headphones and make a silent promise to yourself? This time will be different. This time, you won’t shove them into your bag like some kind of deranged squirrel hoarding acorns. You won’t yank them out of your phone like you’re trying to start a lawnmower. You will treat them with care, with respect.

And yet.

Somehow.

Here you are. Again. Another pair, dead. The left earbud? Gone. The right one? Hanging on for dear life, whispering faintly, like it’s calling out from the afterlife. You stare at it, baffled. How? HOW did this happen? You were careful. You learned from the last five pairs. Didn’t you?

No. You didn’t.

Because the truth is, you’ve said this every time. Every. Single. Time. Your history is littered with the ghosts of headphones past—frayed wires, sound cutting in and out like a broken radio transmission, rubber casings peeling back to reveal the fragile, suffering wires inside. You think about how they got here. The careless wrapping around your phone. The times you let them dangle from your pocket like an afterthought. The fact that, at least once, you definitely fell asleep with them still tangled around you like a techno-umbilical cord.

And this—this isn’t just about headphones. No. This is about you. About your patterns. Your delusions. The fact that you keep repeating the same mistakes and expecting a different outcome.

Isn’t that the definition of insanity?

Maybe it’s a metaphor. Maybe your headphones die because you don’t handle delicate things well—physical or emotional. Maybe you ignore problems until they break. Maybe you see the warning signs—the faint crackle in the audio, the slightly exposed wire—and you pretend everything’s fine. It’s fine. It’s FINE. Until one day, it isn’t.

Or maybe, hear me out, wired headphones are simply not meant to last. Maybe they are built to self-destruct, to betray us, to force us into this never-ending cycle of grief and rebirth. Maybe we are all just victims of a larger force—planned obsolescence, capitalism, the cruel inevitability of entropy.

Or maybe, just maybe… I need to stop buying $3 gas station headphones and expecting them to last a lifetime.

Anyway. If you see me buying another pair tomorrow, no you didn’t.

I (edit: recently viewed a video indicating that some people may not recognize what an em dash is, and that using it could lead to assumptions of AI usage. I would like to clarify that I do not utilize AI; I merely use an em dash when it is suitable for its intended purpose.)

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Stayed home, nothing motivating except thinking about doing art