Anyone Wat Any Dark Headcannons On Updike?

anyone wat any dark headcannons on updike?

Hello there fellow Updike artist

do you do headcanons of him?

gimme some

please

Welp, guess I'm an Updike Artist now...

LET'S BEGIN.

Despite his hairy appearance, Updike has nipples hidden underneath his fluffy chest. They are blue due to the color of his blood.

Updike has seen a nightmare of himself, and tried to rip out his heart.

He lives in a nice modern home near a beach, but it's rather lonely there.

Udike learned sign language from his mother, who was deaf. He also knows how to do printed sign language.

VIRGIN

He dated an Angel.

That's about it...