When I Read The Song Of Achilles I Was Very Surprised At How Genuine And Equally Matched Their Love For

i'm watching Star Trek while I am working and I just got to Journey to Babel (s2 e10) and I'm absolutely losing it at the fact that Sarek is beefing with his son cause he chose to join Starfleet instead of the Vulcan Science Academy.

Sir. Maybe if your people hadn't been so shitty to him while he was growing up hw might have had more of an interest in staying there HELLO???????

crying. turns out being a petty parent is NOT unique to humans.

thinking about tarsus and the mirror universe, and wondering in what ways the events may or may not have differed between the two. how can an already nightmarish situation have been twisted even worse - and what kind of effect would that have on young james?

our jim likely came out of tarsus with an even deeper sense of compassion for his fellow man - kindness forged in fire. he’s been through such hardship and pain that all he wants to do is alleviate that in others - his idea of “let me help” perhaps being even more romantic than “i love you” being cultivated there

and what the mirror image of that must be. any sense of trust or heart mirror!kirk may have possessed as a child completely shattered - kindness quite literally starved away. he’s been through such hardship and pain, so why should everyone else get off easy?

I am once again thinking about how in The Naked Time, Spock has an emotional breakdown after contracting the virus and cries about the regret he feels for not loving his human mother vs his shame he feels for his ongoing friendship with Kirk, but before he contracts the virus, Spock finds LOVE MANKIND written on the wall. And it's been written and discussed to death about what it means, I know this, but it's telling that Spock not only loves in spite of his Vulcan upbringing and continued adherence to their customs but that he holds regret and shame deep down inside because the love is still there, regardless.

Whereas Kirk likewise has his virus-induced breakdown over the opposite: his self-inflicted pressure to not love an individual, either due to fear of distraction from duty, losing his position as captain due to the ethical conundrum of "How can a captain date one of their crew?" (no, I do not know the details of how Starfleet manages crew relationships, but I'm assuming rank is an issue, especially where captains are concerned), or even the unspoken taboo of the show's production era, his sexual orientation, hence his focusing on the ship as the only safe and constant outlet for his love. But after this, Kirk finds SINNER REPENT written on the wall, as if to say his altruism isn't the full truth, as if what he desires is what he denies even with the virus lowering his inhibitions.

And like my god. What foils to each other! How damned telling the literal writing on the wall is for them! I am going to eat my fucking sweater!

Watching Mirror, Mirror for the first time is an experience that is so fucking hilarious and awesome.

Like the costumes for the mirror universe are so cool to look at and the fact that the og landing party is just in Kirk's quarters going "I wonder how alternate us is doing" and it cuts to Shatner screaming bloody murder as he's being dragged by red shirts.

Mirror!Kirk's threats are also so fucking funny because Spock is just so unbothered with this man that isn't his Jim. Like he knows this ain't his husband and therefore he does not give a fuck.

Shoutout to Kirk's look of horror when he realized that Spock would have to deal with evil versions of the landing party without him. Truly iconic homosexual behaviour.

the devil in the dark is a great episode for sooooo many reasons but something i particularly love is its characterization of kirk & spock, especially how the story juxtaposes their initial attitudes vs. their actions as well as juxtaposing them against one another. for most of the episode, kirk is very firmly situated in the command role: he’s laser-focused on his goal of eliminating whatever has been killing the miners. he has a plan & he sticks to it. he can’t afford to entertain ideas about capturing the creature for scientific study rather than killing it, because that introduces more risk to his crew. his mission is to protect as many lives as possible, full stop.

however, when he sees the horta in that cave, his first instinct isn’t to shoot. he’s wary of course, brandishing a phaser for his own safety, but he’s also curious & gentle. he studies her with wonder shining in his eyes. his movements mirror her own—he immediately picks up on the fact that she isn’t necessarily hostile towards him, & in response, he slowly, carefully, sets aside his own hostility as well. he speaks to her, makes little jokes. he watches her in perpetual amazement & intrigue, very cautiously extending a metaphorical hand to say, i don’t want to hurt you. it’s a big leap from “your orders are shoot to kill,” & that reveals a lot about kirk. he’s a good commander, he knows how to handle a dangerous situation while minimizing risk to his crew, but he’s also curious. kind. optimistic. gentle. in the heat of the moment, when he’s the only one at risk, his basic instinct doesn’t say fight, it says listen.

meanwhile, spock is immensely intrigued by the horta; he regrets that it will most likely be necessary to kill her in order to protect themselves. he spends most of the episode speculating on the fascinating science of a silicone-based life form. he even (very subtly) challenges kirk’s order by telling the security team to capture the creature if possible. he isn’t eager to use force, because he simply isn’t that kind of person—he’s curious by nature, like kirk. so it seems a great shift when, upon hearing that the horta is near kirk, he shouts through the communicator, “kill it, captain! kill it!”

realizing that kirk is in danger is like flipping a switch. the way he carries himself changes in an instant. urgency flares to life in his eyes & voice. as wild with it as a vulcan can get. freezing in place, then breaking into a run, calling out, forgetting rank. to him, the most preferable—the most logical—course of action is not to explore why the horta has not attacked the captain yet; rather, it is to eliminate the threat to kirk as soon as possible.

in a way, they represent both a reversal & a mirror of each other in this episode. kirk is a decisive & capable fighter, but his instincts steer him towards gentler things. spock prioritizes scientific inquiry & discovery, but it all appears inconsequential when his friend’s life is on the line. they balance each other, complement each other. it’s why they’re such a good command team. it’s why they fall so easily into such a deep bond. both of them, ultimately, act from a place of love.

Call OG Star Trek corny all you want. Because yeah. But it's also like-

"Here is a rock slug. It is literally different from Earth life on the molecular level. It is killing people. It's obviously played by a stagehand wearing a rug. Except it's not an it. It's a she. She's a mother, and she's lived here far longer than man has lived on her native planet. She lives alone with eggs that haven't hatched, which the miners thing are just worthless rocks. Her mission is one of love as well as vengeance. She feels anger and pain and joy. She doesn't have a voice but she can be felt. Through understanding her, both her species and mankind can benefit. Through understanding, we can achieve peace."

You know, I think that you can pin down EXACTLY what kind of person someone is depending on whether they prefer Jane Eyre or Wuthering Heights

I’m noticing something absolutely fascinating about the early part of Spock and Kirk’s relationship. I’m making video compilations of every time kirk says Spock/Mr.Spock and vice versa every time Spock says Captain/Jim (I’ve got a spreadsheet and EVERYTHING because I’m obsessive like that)

Regardless! In the beginning, Kirk is very verbally/publicly protective of Spock which makes sense Star date-wise since Kirk just got promoted to captain of the Enterprise and Spock to first officer instead of just science officer:

He’s the first to call out people that won’t let Spock talk in Where No Man Has Gone Before, Charlie X and Balance of Terror.

He has an I’ll Kill You glare whenever anyone is racist/xenophobic toward Spock like Styles and Charlie (even Bones initially if you watch the Man Trap! Which is only their fourth mission).

You can even pin point exactly when Kirk is like “alright... I’m in love with this man” you can pin point it as a slow motion tumble from about halfway through The Enemy Within when he asks Spock to tell him when he’s slipping, to watching Spock stand up against Trelaine in The Squire of Gothos.

He’s got this “if Spock won’t fight for his place on this ship, I will.” Attitude that hits a fever pitch in The Menagerie

Spock on the other hand is extremely physically protective of Kirk from the get-go, even though he hasn’t even fully sized Kirk up. I think at least initially this could be chalked up to feeling like he failed to protect Captain Pike in The Cage (and later from the events that prelude The Menagerie) but it’s more than that. I think it’s also a manifestation of his inner frustration about how closed-off Kirk is because of his painful past:

He goes so far as to request a freaking phaser rifle in Where No Man Has Gone Before, just to potentially protect Kirk from Mitchell, and seems a little peeved that Kirk fought him alone. That’s not his freaking job, he’s a science officer

Pretty much ALL Spock’s actions in The Man Trap, Charlie X, Squire of Gothos, What Are Little Girls Made Of are directly to protect Kirk, forsaking his scientific curiousity (something he will keep doing for Kirk’s sake as we know)

In Dagger of The Mind Spock even forsakes his own personal boundaries to potentially protect Kirk by mind melding with Dr. Van Gelder.

All of this frustration culminates in the way they bicker in Conscience of A King, Kirk is closed off and has a self-destructive streak that Spock can only curb by physically getting in the way.

This protectiveness (like Kirk’s) hits its fever pitch in The Menagerie where Spock is willing to potentially face the death penalty for both his captains because of his intense protectiveness of them.

They protect each other in opposite ways that you’d expect them to, Spock the academic punches monsters and throws himself into bodily/mental peril without hesitation. Kirk the soldier cuts with words and wit to defend Spock from prejudiced assholes and is absolutely enthralled by Spock’s intellect.

All these episodes I’ve discussed are only the first half of the first season. It sets the tone for their relationship, their proclivities complete one another and it’s so... romantic. I don’t see how other people don’t see it.

Of course the relationship evolves beyond this simple feelings protectiveness but man, it sets a tempo to their romance.

aftg is the opposite of that one post that's like "love was there, it didn't change anything" because love was there and it changed everything. i will always appreciate nora for believing in her characters' right to find love and heal and get their second and third and fifth chance.

im not immune to this looney tunes shit