Tell Shonda You Want More Scenes Of Nicola

AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

I’M SO HAPPY I COULD DIE!!!!!

PRAISE THE ALIEN LORDS SHE HAS RETURNED!!

And you know what that means……

RAZAYA REUNION!!!

My Female Heroes (in no particular order)

Saint Jeanne d’Arc - respected and revered warrior and military leader in a time when women were treated like chattel, and never backed down from a fight and what she believed in to the very end. She’s my WWJD anytime I feel scared.

Shania Twain - singer/songwriter who crossed genres with music that let me know I could be tough and feminine at the same time (and glad to be a woman). If I had a soundtrack for my life, all her albums would be in it.

Rumiko Takahashi - manga artist/author with one of the longest careers in the business and wrote several stories that are the perfect blend of action, romance, fantasy, and humor. I hope that my stories are able to do the same someday.

Beatrix Potter - author/illustrator who got her literary start and romances later in life. It took her a while to find her calling and community, giving me hope and the knowledge that I don’t have to have my life worked out before I’m 36 (rom com age limit).

Got tagged by @a-lighthouse-a-man-a-city to shuffle my favorites playlist and list the first 10 :3

I did the playlist on my phone which sadly is an outdated version (new phone not being compatible with old computer-I’ve been saving up to remedy this), but I feel like the songs that popped up do give you an idea how eclectic I can be lol

1: “Soy Yo” by Bomba Estéreo

2: “Just Dance” by Lady Gaga

3: “Survivor” by 2WEI

4: “Cotton Heads” by Caravan Palace

5: “Someone You Like” by The Girl and the Dreamcatcher

6: “Bye-Bye” by Jo Dee Messina

7: “Renegade” by Stereo Dive Foundation

8: “Time After Time” by Estelle

9: “The Wolf” by Siamés

10: “Stay for Awhile” by Amy Grant

Entrapta deserved better

My posts are usually either detailed analysis or memes and shitposts.

I’ve re-watched the show and this will be an angry rant…  

With every viewing of the show, Entrapta’s arc makes me progressively angrier because I empathize with her so much.

She is introduced to the show as being a reclusive scientist, known throughout the Maker’s guild for her genius. Even her staff is weary of her. She spends all her time alone with her robot friends in her lab within her isolated castle.

The alliance interacts with her with the explicit purpose of recruiting her into their war effort. They want her for her ability to build weapons for them. That’s as deep as the relationship goes this far.

Entrapta has no stakes in the war, the Horde hadn’t attacked Dryl. She joins them because she wants to be their friend; she wants to help them in the only way she knows how, using her technological prowess to their benefit. Due to her isolation (and her being autistic), Entratpa struggles to understand interpersonal dynamics. Human interaction is a skill she has had little practical experience with. She understands the concepts, the rules of the game, so to speak, but she has seen it in play only as a third party rarely ever practicing it herself.

She’s invited to the Princess prom due to her princes status but she’s an outsider there too. No “friendly” princess seeks her out to hang out with her as a friend would. The only person who does so is Catra, and she does it for her own reasons…

With Glimmer abducted, the alliance mounts a half-baked rescue operation. Everything Entrapta did in this episode had a purpose, it looked like she kept getting distracted when in actuality, she was studying horde tech, rescuing Seahawk and furthering their mission and she had no time to explain herself (it also occurs to me that Entrapta might not explain herself because no one asked and no one ever understands her reasoning anyway) The princesses try to control her because she’s being “difficult”. They don’t care why she’s being difficult, they want her to conform.

Once they rescued Glimmer, they don’t even come back to check if Entrapta’s actually dead, or to get her remains and put them to rest respectfully. They allready have the princess they came for.  

Entrapta is all alone with her new robot friend Emily in the Frightzone vents, expecting that she’d get rescued because “no princess left behind” but rescue never actually comes.

Catra uses this new abandonment to convince her to switch sides. Entrapta didn’t jump ship because of her tech hyperfixation, she switched sides because Catra used her skill at pinpointing someone’s weak-spot and poking at it. 

Catra may not have been Shadow Weaver’s favorite ward (she was her scapegoat and punching bag, the poor girl) but she did learn from her and repeatedly put those skills to “good” use.

Once they find out she’s alive, the alliance wants to rescue her but she’s made new friends in the Horde and she think that they understand her fascination with science, friends that actually interact with her directly. She actually feels included here and as such, she’s not eager to return to the alliance’s side.

Entrapta befriends Catra and Scorpia but even in this trio, she is the third wheel. Catra is focused on herself, her ascension in The Horde and on her missing Adora. Scorpia is focused on Catra and on pinning for her.

Once Entrapta and Hordak start growing closer together, Catra stops talking to her. Perhaps she was hurt because Entrapta “broke her promise” to not go in Hordak’s sanctum, perhaps she was envious of her closeness to the Horde leader, or perhaps both, either way, the friendship is broken from Catra’s side. Entrapta still sees her as a friend and fights Hordak over the decision to send her to Beast Island. Despite his grouchiness, he considers her request and grants it.

As recompense for saving her life, Catra backstabs Entrapta when she tried to stop Catra from triggering a potentially world ending event and then sends her to the fate Entrapta saved her from: exile on Beast Island.

When faced with the choice between Catra and Entrapta, Scorpia choses Catra. Hordak is lied to so he doesn’t know to look for her, he believed she used him and is heartbroken about it.

You can actually pinpoint the moment his little heart breaks in this scene:

 Even so, he spends most of season 4 wanting to face her; he’d rather see her as an enemy than not see her at all.

After Catra proves herself a bad friend, (after months) Scorpia finally decides to rescue Entrapta and goes looking for help, deserting to the alliance. She has this little realization:

Adora is the only person that actually wants to go right away and rescue her. Bow wants to rescue her because they need her tech savvy and Glimmer says that they can rescue her after the war or something… (the Island she’s on is a death trap, she might not live that long for all they know)

she said this 

then this

She knows that this is a time sensitive issue but she wants to put it off  despite the urgency, if that doesn’t sound like friendship to you, then what does?  *sarcasm intensifies*

Contrast this with how the villain of the show reacted to the news of her being sent to Beast Island:

On Beast Island Bow gives her a longwinded speech about how she’s supposed to work harder at friendship. I know he’s projecting his own issues here but it still makes me so damn angry. Entrapta’s trying; she’s trying so hard, no one ever tries back! No one makes the effort to understand her (except that one clone but we’re not talking about him), she has to conform to their expectations, the reverse is never applicable.

Anyway, stuff happens and Glimmer is abducted again, by Horde Prime this time.

Then that whole “Lauch” episode happened. Entrapta is distrusted by the alliance more than Scorpia is. She is seen and cold and interested only in tech, she has to explain and redeem herself in their eyes after they treat her like rubbish. They don’t connect the fact that helping them with tech is how she shows her friendship. 

It’s the only thing she thinks she’s worth to them. She wants to be accepted by them so badly.

 Entrapta gets emotional over rescuing Glimmer! 

The person who when faced with the same prospect, said he’d do it later…

Even Catra’s apology to Entrapta for trying to kill her is a blank “I’m sorry”. Pls say what exactly you are sorry for Catra. Entrapta deserves that much. Bow received a better apology for far less of an offense.

All she ever does in the show is work towards furthering someone else’s goals, her own are always a second thought. As @cruelfeline​ pointed out, even a small scene with her discussing what happened with Hordak, her reaction to it and the gang focusing on Entrapta’s troubles for ONCE , even if it’s just offering her emotional support, would have meant so much.

Why is the show trying to tell me that Entrapta should work on being a better friend?

That’s a terrible message!

She doesn’t need to work harder on her friends, she NEEDS BETTER FRIENDS.

So many of us ND people end up being third wheels at best and we blame that on ourselves, we internalize the reasoning that our friendship fail because we’re weird and we’re not doing it right. That we’re the ones that have to try harder to be understood and that our concerns should come second.  That is a terrible thing to internalize, we are blaming ourselves constantly because we try to understand others and they never try to understand us back. 

With age, I’ve grown out of trying and being different so that other people would like me. They’d end up liking the mask I project, not me anyway. I’ve found people that understand me and that like me for who I am, but only after I’ve stopped trying to be “better” for others to accept me. With being honestly “weird” with those around me, I’ve been accepted far more than for trying to fit in. And I’ve realized that people that shun my otherness are not worth the effort to try and befriend in the first pace .

 That is what young autistics need to hear, not “git gud” at friendship.  You are not wrong, you are not defective or broken, you are you and you’re beautiful just the way you are. If other people don’t see that, then the failing is theirs. Don’t change, just look for people that see you. 

So my feelings towards my new computer is...mixed

Seriously, why can’t I have my login background be a pic from one of my Photo folders and it updates every time I add a new pic? I could do that on a 12 year old computer, why can’t I do it on a brand new one?!

Was tagged by my bestie, @a-lighthouse-a-man-a-city to do the 3 Fictional Characters I Honestly Would Say I’m the Most Alike.

And honestly, this was HARD. Because it’s very rare that I find anyone in fiction that I can actually relate to. I’m not a pure girly-girl but I’m not a tough-as-nails biker chick either. I’m a strange mix of leather and lace. But after much searching I did find three girls that I’ve related to more than anyone else.

First up is Evie O’Connell, from the Mummy movies (just the first two, I refuse to acknowledge the subsequent films). Evie represents the adventuring academic in me. She may seem too bookish to be out in the field, but it’s wise not to let her innocent demeanor fool you. She will fight for what’s right and she’ll probably have a lot of random facts in her arsenal to do it. She has a great love for history but balances it evenly with the present. And sometimes she’s just a little too curious for her own good, though thankfully for me, it tends to be on a smaller scale.

Next is Moonshade from the Elfquest comics (before the Final Quest volumes because her character in that arc was a complete switch from the one I came to know and love). Moonshade is both my artistic side and my old fashioned self. She loves creating things in many mediums, particularly outfits, and likes to incorporate new elements from the places she’s been in her designs. But even though she enjoys experiencing new things, she will never bend her beliefs and what she knows to be right, even if it means alienating herself from others. She tends to hold grudges against people who have wronged her or anyone she cares for, demonstrating a loyalty that will never break.

And lastly, but probably the one I identify with the most, is Entrapta from the Netflix She-Ra. Entrapta is my easygoing, socially inept geek self. She accepts everything and everyone at face value, seeing them in a positive light until proven otherwise. She’s passionate about the things she enjoys and tends to get single minded when it comes to her projects, with her likes seeming rather strange to many others. She may technically be an adult but mentally she’s still a kid at heart, and so has trouble reading more nuanced situations. She has difficulty in making friends and connections with people because she wants to please them, to fit in, but at the same time, she yearns for someone who accepts her and praises her for who she truly is.

I found it very interesting that the girls I chose seem so different at first glance. But at their cores, they all care deeply about the people in their lives and will do anything to help and protect them, even if it means putting themselves in the line of fire. They are passionate about what they love and tend to dedicate so much time and effort into those interests, often showing their love by sharing the fruits of these labors with the people they value most.

And they all seem to have a thing for misunderstood loners ;3

Tag to anyone who wants to do this for fun!

Answer 21, Tag 21

Tagged by the wonderful @a-lighthouse-a-man-a-city

2. Zodiac Sign: Leo (Greek), Horse (Chinese)

1. Nicknames: Ana, Princess Leia (back in the day when I had hair long enough to do her cinnamon roll buns for real)

3. Height: 5′5 and 3/4

4. Hogwarts: Hufflepuff

5. The Last Thing I googled: Star Wars summer outfit (anyone ever notice no one in Star Wars wears shorts?)

6. Favorite Musicians: Within Temptation, Imagine Dragons, Lindsey Sterling, anything written by Joe Hisashi

7. Song Stuck in My Head: Red Right Hand by Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds

8. Following Now: Depends on the site (I have a lot of art sites)

9. Followers: Same answer as before 

10. Do I Get Asks?:  Not recently T^T

11. Amount of sleep?: 8-9 hours

12. Lucky Number: 3 or 9

13. What I’m Wearing: My white Chinese flats with blue embroidery and ankle frog ties, dark forest green jeans, a white tank top with porcelain teapot pattern (delicate vintage florals), an electric blue cardigan/throw with matching lace decal down the back, and silver jewelry (dangling drop earrings, a white gold necklace depicting the Children of Leer from Ireland, a lotus and Ankh ring from the King Tut tour, and a ring that says ‘We’re All Mad Here’)

14. Dream Job: Writing YA novels full time

15. Dream Trip: A river cruise down the Nile in Egypt

16. Favorite Foods: Chocolate hazelnut anything, Chicago pizza, and Japanese Royal Milk tea

17. Instruments: Piano, voice (that so counts as an instrument - I had voice lessons)

18. Languages: English, Spanish, a little Japanese, working on Ancient Egyptian

19. Favorite Song: No Light, No Light by Florence + The Machine

20. Random Fact: I have petted a manatee in the wild (which is illegal, but I didn’t know that at the time!)

21. Aesthetic: Asian, Art Deco, and Art Nouveau inspired patterns and designs set on white backgrounds. English cottage decor with dark woods, butterflies/bees/dragonflies, roses, and skeleton keys. Vintage 1940-50s dresses paired with ballet flats in jewel tones or iced pastels.

(Sadly, I don’t have 21 people to tag, so I’m just going to skip that step ;P )

I really wish there was a way for me to just have access to all of Starcream’s sassy moments in the IDW comics xD

It's Official! I'm ASD!

And I couldn't be more happy! (which according to my family, is a strange reaction to have lol)

But all my life I've felt like an outsider looking in, and when I stumbled upon Autism, it gave me something I hadn't had before - a reason why I'm the way I am.

With each new fact I learned during my research, I grew more and more excited by how well I related to the ASD community. How their stories and tips made me feel more confident in myself to just be me, without having to constantly justify my 'strange' behavior.

And then I was finally able to get an official assessment done. I was so sure there would be no doubt that I was autistic.

But then the doctor went over her initial findings with me and it sounded like I was going to be misdiagnosed.

I was scared out of my mind.

Because I had been so sure of myself, for the first time in a long time. I had essentially laid my soul bare to someone and they were invalidating my feelings. And I wasn't sure what I was going to do if I was misdiagnosed.

Thankfully, that didn't turn out to be the case! (long story short, when sending the questionnaires out to other people, make sure you 1: give them to people you're sure know you. And 2: look over their responses, just to make sure they do know you well. Because it turns out, sometimes they don't).

I'm officially on the Autism Spectrum and thrilled to be zebra instead of a malfunctioning horse!

I have not cried happy tears of relief in soooooo long!