Who Versus Whom

Who versus Whom

Okay, my hand is up there, too, making the confession that a lot of us are probably guilty of - not always knowing which is the word to use. Even native English speakers get this wrong. Even if we do (instinctively) get it right because it “sounds” better to our authorial ears, we can still not know WHY we do what we do. 

So the general rule is 

Who should be used to refer to the subject of a sentence.

Whom should be used to refer to the object of a verb or preposition.

Even when I read this my brain kind of quirks and says what does that mean in practice? Some sites say “ “who” is always subject to a verb, and that “whom” is always working as an object in a sentence. “ And my brain still quirks and goes “yeah, but what does THAT actually mean?”

This definition gets closer to making sense to me: The difference between “who” and “whom” is the same as the difference between “I” and “me;” “he” and “him;” “she” and “her.” 

A faint glimmer appears. So, “Who cares?” is a case where who refers to the subject of the sentence and cares is the verb.  And “To whom it may concern” is the object of the verb, not the subject of the sentence. 

One tip: try writing the sentence to replace who and whom with he or him.  If you can replace the word with “he” or “’she” then you should use who. However, if you can replace it with “him” or “her,” use whom. Let’s look at some examples.

I know who your best friend is! (He/she is your best friend. Not him/her is your best friend).

Who is going to the ball game? (He is going to the ball game, not him is going to the ball game)

The boy who went bare-legged got sunburnt. (He got sunburnt, not Him got sunburnt)

So, is it 

Do you know who I am talking about? 

or 

Do you know whom I am talking about?

Using the rule above, rephrase the question as a sentence. 

“I am talking about him” - which means that WHOM is the right answer!. 

This post comes courtesy of a lovely line I just read in the story  I’m not drunk enough for this by Kitten Kin.: 

DON’T pretend you don’t know who I’m talking about!” John added, flicking one finger loose from around his mobile so that he could stab the air with it.

“Whom,” Sherlock corrected, and then bit down on his lips and began intently examining the back of the sofa.