En Las Fechas Más Bonitas Me Siento Tan Triste.

When your fictional crushes consist of one underappreciated character (Jake Lockley), one character that people aren't writing about as often anymore (Miguel O'Hara), and one character that hasn't had any new stories written about them in years (Kratos God of War) and you're trying to find something to read

Guys I'm losing my mind please help

everything is about the ninja turtles if you’re dedicated enough

Omg just finish my 72 hours fast, going to eat and start a 96 hours fast :)

ja codziennie

tag urself <3 part 2

I NEED A MANWHORE! 💥🔥

No offense but where are the male porn bots

I just had a super weird "ah-HA!" moment (I don't get those often and now I'm excited, so bare with me.)

Okay so Michael Bay made both the 2014/16 TMNT movies AND the Transformers movies, and in the second TMNT movie there's a transformers cameo with Bumblebee.

....hold on. I gotta word this right before the weed kicks in.

(At this point in the post, I got a phone call and forgot what I was doing. It has been an hour and I am stoned out of my goddamned mind. I will do my best to continue from here. Sorry!)

...damnit. I got sidetracked. Ugh. Okay basically, well actually CANONICALLY TMNT, X-Files, Power Rangers, Hellboy, Ghost busters, Batman (and therefore, the league,) Hellboy, Street fighter, Archie, Alvin and the Chipmunks, and even Josie and the Pussycats all exsist IN THE SAME GODDAMNED UNIVERSE.

CAN YOU JUST IMAGINE FOR A MOMENT HOW FUCKED UP NEW YORK IS ON A REGULAR AFTERNOON!?!

Like, Donnie getting kidnapped by aliens

..and then probably getting saved by Scully and Mulder!? Does that last part actually happen??? I don't know, I haven't read that crossover yet. But the point is THAT IT COULD!

Meanwhile, you have Bebop and Rocksteady chillin with Scourge (Sonic)

While Raph's probably kickin back and having a beer with Casey and Hellboy

And Garfield and Mikey are playing it up like Top Chef in the kitchen,

All the while you have Optimus fuckin Prime and the Megazord probably having an arm wrestling match on a mountain somewhere!

AND THEN THERE'S WHATEVER THE GOD FEARING HELL THIS IS:

(At this point in my weed-fueled ramblings, I was distracted by the sounds of my dogs barking downstairs. Nothing was wrong, but there were cookies in the adjacent kitchen...well anyway, it's been 40 minutes. Sorry again! 🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️)

Anyway, I had a point to all this...

...

.....

........OH YEAH!

Donnie fucks Batgirl.

The End.