Creating Emotionally Devastating Scenes.

hi! i need help with writing descriptions, no matter they always feel very boring and repetitive, especially if it’s a one character scene, when i try to describe emotions and such — it just all feels very tell no show?

Hey anon!

So I'll divide your question into 2 parts :

a) the general description and b) describing emotions

GENERAL DESCRIPTIONS:

1. Describe With Purpose, Not Just for Filler:

Every description should do something—set the mood, reveal character, or add tension. Ask yourself:

Does this description tell us something about the character?

Does it affect the scene's mood?

Would the scene feel different without it?

Example: Instead of listing details about a room, show how a character interacts with it.

The room was small, with a wooden desk, a single chair, and a bookshelf in the corner. (Factual but lifeless.)

The room barely fit the essentials. The bookshelf leaned slightly to one side, stuffed past its limit, and the desk was clean—too clean, like someone had wiped it down one too many times. (Gives a sense of personality.)

note: this is not to say that simple doesn't work. Simple does work too. In fact in descriptions I prefer not to overload the reader with too much info. Sometimes tell not show is exactly what you want.

2. Use Comparisons, But Make Them Interesting

Instead of just saying something is big, small, cold, warm—compare it to something vivid. But avoid clichés like "as cold as ice" or "as dark as night."

Example:

(The house was huge.)

The house loomed over the street like it had been dropped there by mistake, too grand for the tiny patch of land it stood on.

3. Vary Sentence Structure & Rhythm

If every description is the same length, it starts feeling robotic. Mix short and long sentences to create flow.

Example:

The sky was dark. The streetlights flickered. The pavement was wet from the rain. (Too stiff, repetitive.)

The sky hung heavy, a sheet of unbroken black. The streetlights flickered—weak, sputtering ghosts against the dark. Rain pooled in the cracks of the pavement, reflecting the city in distorted, shattered pieces. (More dynamic and immersive.)

4. Make Mundane Actions More Engaging

Common actions—walking, drinking, sitting—can feel repetitive. Instead of always describing how someone moves, describe what their movement says about them.

Example: (She sat down on the chair and drank her coffee.)

The coffee was bitter, but she didn’t add sugar. She was too tired to care, or maybe just used to the taste of things that didn’t quite go down easy.

5. Use the Five Senses

Relying only on sight makes descriptions feel flat. Bring in sound, touch, smell, and taste to create depth.

Example: (The market was busy and full of stalls.)

The market was a riot of noise—fishmongers shouting deals, the metallic clang of knives against chopping boards. The air smelled of salt, spices, and the sharp tang of citrus from a freshly cut lemon.

6. Avoid “List” Descriptions

Instead of dumping all details in one go, weave them into the action.

Example:

The car was old. The paint was peeling. The tires were worn out. The seats were cracked. (Feels like a checklist.)

She ran a hand over the car’s hood. The paint peeled away in thin, brittle flakes, catching on her fingertips. One of the tires sagged, low on air. Inside, the leather seats were cracked, their stuffing exposed like old battle wounds. (More immersive.)

7. Change the ‘Camera Angle’

If descriptions feel stale, shift perspective. Zoom in on small details or pull back for a bigger picture.

Example: (The sky was blue and the trees were tall.)

(Zoom in) The sky stretched unbroken, a shade of blue so deep it looked painted on. A single cloud drifted by, lazy and indifferent.

(Zoom out) The valley lay sprawled below, a patchwork of green and gold, rivers carving silver veins through the earth.

DESCRIBING EMOTIONS:

1. Ditch the Label, Focus on the Reaction

Instead of saying "She was nervous," think about how that nervousness manifests. Does she tap her fingers against the table? Does she try to swallow, only to realize her throat is dry? Does she force a smile that doesn’t quite reach her eyes?

(She was scared.)

Her grip tightened around the mug, the warmth failing to chase away the cold in her hands.

The doorknob rattled. She flinched so hard her knee slammed into the desk, sending a sharp jolt up her thigh.

2. Use the Environment as a Mirror

Solo scenes can feel isolating if it’s just a character thinking in a void. Use the surroundings to echo their mood. If they’re anxious, maybe the room feels too still, the clock ticking just a little too loud. If they’re sad, maybe the sky outside is stubbornly blue and bright, like the world refuses to match their mood.

Example: The cold wind pushed against her back, and for a second, it felt like someone was there. But when she turned, it was just the empty street behind her.

3. Sensory Details Are Your Best Friend

People experience emotions with their whole body. What does fear taste like? What does joy feel like against the skin? Even a simple emotion like anger can be described in different ways—burning hot like a wildfire, or cold and simmering like a blade pressed to the throat.

Example:

Her jaw ached from clenching so hard. The words pressed against her teeth, sharp and bitter, demanding to be let out.

His vision blurred at the edges, not from tears, but from the heat rising in his skull. He could hear his own pulse, a steady drumbeat against his eardrums.

4. Using body language:

Example:

He smiled, but it was tight—too tight. Like if he let go, he might crack right down the middle.

5. Break the Inner Monologue Habit

If your descriptions feel like a constant stream of thoughts (I feel sad, I feel angry, I feel lonely), try breaking it up with actions.

Example:

She stared at the email, her fingers hovering over the keyboard. Then she backspaced everything she had typed, closed the tab, and shut the laptop. She’d try again later. Maybe.

His fingers found the bracelet at his wrist, the one she had given him years ago. He traced the worn-out engravings with his thumb, the metal warm against his skin.

She set two plates on the table before remembering. Staring at the extra one, she let out a breath and put it back in the cabinet. Old habits.

At the end of the day, writing descriptions is like learning to see the world through your character’s eyes. The more you practice, the more natural it’ll feel.

Hope this helps! 💛

But maybe I just wanna write fanfic right now, even though I could hypothetically write original work and try to get published. Maybe I just wanna right novel length fics about my favorite K-Pop idols instead. Like is that allowed?

I wonder if my body just likes to keep me on my toes. Like oh your hip is feeling better? BOOM now your ankle feels like it’s being stabbed.

if you feel like you forgot how to write: good. forget the rules. be ungovernable. invent a new genre.

Reading a book: “Ah, yes, brilliant. That totally makes sense. How clever!”

Attempting to write a book: “I am a complete and utter fraud. Who gave me permission to wield words? Someone revoke my keyboard.”

Why do I have multiple hobbies and no time for any of them?

Trying to write decent erotica is crazy, like my notes for editing better not fall into the wrong hands. And it’s funny because when people see me handwriting notes while looking my laptop they always think I’m studying. I need to go back to sci fi.

I've already said that my number one piece of writing advice is to read.

But my number two piece of advice is this: be deliberate.

Honestly this would fix so many pieces of bad writing advice. Don't forbid people from doing something, tell them to be conscious and deliberate about it. This could help stop people from falling into common mistakes without limiting their creativity. Black and white imperatives may stop a few annoying beginner habits, but ultimately they will restrict artistic expression.

Instead of "don't use epithets": "Know the effect epithets have and be deliberate about using them." Because yes, beginners often misuse them, but they can be useful when a character's name isn't known or when you want to reduce them to a particular trait they have.

Instead of "don't use 'said'" or "just use 'said'": "Be deliberate about your use of dialogue tags." Because sometimes you'll want "said" which fades into the background nicely, but sometimes you will need a more descriptive alternative to convey what a character is doing.

Instead of "don't use passive voice": "Be deliberate about when you use passive voice." Because using it when it's not needed can detract from your writing, but sometimes it can be useful to change the emphasis of a sentence or to portray a particular state of mind.

Instead of blindly following or ignorantly neglecting the rules of writing, familiarize yourself with them and their consequences so you can choose when and if breaking them would serve what you're trying to get across.

Your writing is yours. Take control of it.

It probably sounds like I'm preaching to the choir here because most of my mutuals are already great writers. But I'm hoping this will make it to the right people.

Things I’ve noticed are essential in plotting and would probably have saved me a lot of time if I had considered it earlier

The START of your story - how fucked up flawed is your premise/character at the start? what do they have to change? why are they HERE?

The END of your story - How do you want your main character/theme/universe to change after your story? Does it get better or worse? THIS SETS UP THE TONE DRASTICALLY.

What you want to happen IN BETWEEN - the MEAT of it. What made you start writing this WIP in the first place. Don't be ashamed to indulge, it's where the BRAIN JUICE comes from. You want a deep dive into worldbuilding and complex systems? Then your start and end should be rooted in some fundamental, unique rule of your universe (what made you obsess over it?). Want to write unabashed ship content? Make sure your start and end are so compelling you'll never run out of smut scenarios to shove in between scenes (what relationship dynamics made you ship it in the first place?).

The ANTE - the GRAVITY of your story. How high are the stakes? Writing a blurb or interaction? start with a small day-in-the-life so you can focus on shorter timelines and hourly minutiae that can easily get overlooked in more complicated epics. Or you can go ham on it and plot out your whole universe's timeline from conception to demise. Remember: the larger the scale, the less attached your story may get. How quickly time flies in your story typically correlates with the ante (not a hard rule, ofc, but most epics span years of time within a few pages, while a romance novel usually charts out the events of a few months over a whole manuscript.)

Everything else follows….?