Things I Wish I Already Knew Going To University

American Homeschool Gothic

A/N: The last time I was homeschooled was fourth grade, so someone hit me if this is all garbage. It gets weirder the further you read. Requested by @amerraka.

Everyone worries that you will have trouble socializing in the “real world”. This is true. You can only talk to your parents.

You got a new textbook today, recommended by a education magazine. You look at the copywrite page. It was published in 1876.

You’ve been doing the same math problem for what seems like days. You look up from your work for the first time and realize that it is now winter. You started in the spring.

You put in earbuds to listen to music while you work. You notice that the longer you listen, the better the sound quality becomes. It is now lunchtime. You try to take them out. You can’t. They have grown into your brain.

You have done school in your pajamas every day. You no longer know how to wear real clothes.

The word “homeschool” has become toxic. You speak the word in public, and everyone turns to stare. The government has programmed them that education without their interference is a crime. You will now hang for treason.

You take a history test. You come upon a question asking for an example of Renaissance art. The answer is communism. The answer to every question is communism.

You are told there is a girl/boy that is exactly like you at a public school. They are friends with all of your friends. You long to meet this parallel universe doppelganger. 

You are driving past a public school at the end of the school day. Students leave in droves with dull eyes, slack jaws, and withering minds. You wonder if you too will become a zombie when you go to college.

You have been reading for hours and haven’t moved an inch. You don’t remember when it got so dark or who turned on the overhead light.

Your family left one day to go get groceries. There is a sticky note from your mother on the fridge telling you your lessons. It’s the same yellow note every day, but with different lessons. You haven’t seen your family since 2009, and the sticky note is starting to fray and crumble.

You have begun to suspect that your homeschool group is not actually a homeschool group, but a cult. Whenever you bring it up, people’s eyes glaze over with a blank stare. “What homeschool group? There’s no homeschool group here.”

Your textbooks are centuries old. You can hear them scream as you crack their spines opening them every day.

College stands on the horizon. Public school kids say it’s a brilliant light, a beacon of hope. You see it for what it truly is. Bloody arms stretching, broken nails clawing at any student it can, devouring and demanding souls.

a list of untradtional study tips

buy new/pretty stationery; i love buying new pens and notebooks so much that i’ll easily get through re-writing notes i had been putting off

create a few study playlists; since instrumental/classical music helps improve brain functioning, have a selection of ones you like, but also add in the odd soft lyrical song. take a break every time a song with lyrics comes on and work during the instrumentals. it should be in a 5:1 ratio (instrumental:lyrical) that way you will work for 20-30 minutes with a 5 min break 

make your study space smell good; light a candle, or a smell that you enjoy, try to use the same scent every time to trigger memory recollection. mint and vanilla are my favs!

write down how much time you spend studying for a test and then the grade you got; then you can figure out how time you really need to spend to get a good grade. this will help you use your time more effectively

read over your notes before you sleep; this allows for neuron to be killed and myelin pathways to be made! which means learning and understanding, yay!

get done up; you don’t always need to study in comfy clothes, putting on makeup and a nice outfit can put you into a ‘let’s get shit done’ mood

make you notes pretty; it’s more visually interesting to study and can me more fun to write and make, which helps you learn while you write them!

i really hope this can help some of you and that you enjoy these tips! don’t be afraid to ask me any questions!

cute high school au where jock!beau is super protective of her nerd best friend Caleb

he was supposed to be her tutor and maybe be a good influence on her, but Beau’s parents don’t know that he once stole a cat from a bad home and also once got into a physical fight at a bookshop over a limited edition of The Dark Tower

also Caleb’s foster parents, Veth and Yeza Brenatto, love Beau dearly and Veth tells her stories from her shoplifting days and also makes sure she always has enough to eat. Yeza shows her how to make smoke bombs.

Source: @vikkichu

My aesthetic is just a village homemaker with the dress sense of a depressed university student and an uncontrollable book addiction .

Sometimes a family can be a witch’s twin, a young girl and a faceless spirit

I want to try so many little hobbies. Candle making, soap making, basket weaving, wood carving, book binding, baking, weaving, I want to try them all.

Homeschooler Culture:

The Top 7 Lies About Homeschoolers Video

Literally every lie from The Top 7 Lies About Homeschoolers Video

Shakespeare

The Iliad/The Odyssey

Getting to sleep in

Watching High School movies and thinking “Thank God I missed that”

Doing homework at the Library

Online Classes

That one classic book you will defend to the death

That other classic book you would rather burn in hell than read again

Minecraft

That feeling you get when an adult asks you “Why aren’t you in school?”

This might not be a universal experience, but one time my sister told someone she was homeschooled and he said, “Oh, Home School, that sounds nice, where is that?” and everyone in my family died inside

When a fictional character is homeschooled and they’re portrayed as having no friends/no socialization/overly-strict parents and also probably brainwashed and you just… why

idk if Life of Fred is homeschooler culture, but it should be

Calling vacations “field trips”

“What school do you go to?” uuuuuuugh