Alicelxngbottom - There Is Thunder In Her Heart

BEFORE SUNRISE (1995) dir. RICHARD LINKLATER

vancexemme​:

alamoody​:

Alastor listened intently, making note of every detail. Maybe it wouldn’t have been flint who was the man, but it would be a lead to follow on just in case, and leads even if they didn’t lead to the answer they want it always could have the potential to reveal other things. He could tell Emmeline was taking it seriously, giving extreme detail while telling it in a way that felt more clinical than emotional. It was always to go through these with that attitude, especially when it was so fresh the emotions still needing to be processed and if exposed risked reliving it a bit too closely. It was all very standard for now, he knew about what Dorcas had done and he couldn’t put any blame on her for wanting to break Emmeline out. If he had the opportunity to have saved her from what she would have to go through, he knew his emotion would hold some sway and he’d wish to do it too. Yet, Emmeline kept a cool head and probably did what was the best thing for everyone, but her. He was proud of the action even if he felt deeply guilty about where it leads her.

He had just been about caught up, adding small notes that he could make connections to later when Emmeline’s voice had stopped and her stare lingered on him. Alastor lifted the quill removing it from the paper, allowing her a break from the sound. In addition, he made a note to write slower and with less pressure, though he knew his control on that might decrease as they got to the more gruesome details.  Alice had taken it upon herself to ask questions, she’d grown so nicely into her role. She was an excellent Auror and she asked questions that he stood behind, though he didn’t know if she was asking for all the same reasons he would. Alastor never shared his thoughts on Dorcas’ involvement with that death, figuring the suspicion then confirmation was better kept quiet. It was safer for Dorcas the fewer people that knew.  It was probably obvious that the order would be thought of in his death, even if he had enemies made on his own, the enemy would be the first one to come to mind.

Although Emmeline’s eyes had been trained on him just moments ago, as she spoke now it seemed she wouldn’t be able to meet his gaze.  It was probably better that she didn’t, his eyes and facial expression could never express the comfort she would need for this. As much as he tried to take a break to ease her, he had to get back to writing it was too important now to miss any details here, and honestly, he didn’t want to spend the evening trying to remember the cruelties done. It’d be something too hard, he would already have to go through this enough, and adding to it just felt so disheartening. Emmeline was practically a daughter and she’d gone through something horrific, she was a brave girl, but it wasn’t anything she deserved.  His grip tightened as she went into what Bellatrix had done, having to remind himself to loosen it to prevent the noises for Emmeline.  At Alice’s question, he nodded in agreement. “ Yes, do you think they have any reason to believe he’d been the one to let you out?” He added, finally speaking up since the beginning. He knew it was technically skipping a big chunk, but it was relevant and would do good to know in case the young boy would need extra protection.

@vancexemme​

-

The questions provided a much needed pause, letting Emmeline take a step back from her memories in order to answer them. Her voice was still clear and precise and Whiskers hid the shaking of her hands easily with his long fur and insistent requests to be pet. She had only gone through the first day of ten so she knew it was no great feat to have not broken down yet, but she had set her jaw and looked up steadily at Alice’s questions. 

“I don’t think she’s sure,” She answered, “It felt like she was throwing it out hoping to get some reaction to see if she was looking in the right direction.” The mind of Bellatrix wasn’t one she’d be confident in picking apart, but she could at least provide this much, to describe the reckless toss of questions instead of out Dorcas for what she had done. 

At the mention of them suspecting Regulus, she shook her head. Emmeline at least felt confident in Regulus. He was smart and quiet, and she had a feeling if his relatives had caught any whiff of the visits they would have put an end to it immediately or come down with him. “No, he was very careful about it, and then he was gone for a few days. I don’t think they even knew he was over at the house the day we left.” It might be smart to ask Regulus more, she couldn’t vouch for his behavior prior to seeing him again and if he was as honest faced as he’d been with her downstairs it might be smart to keep their protection of him a secret. “You should speak with him, if you can do so without frightening him. He’s going through a lot at the moment.” 

Content that they had the answers they needed, she slipped into describing the second day. “The second day was…different. She asked me the same questions, really, and again I didn’t say anything. She would threaten things, tell me she would peel my skin off or make me eat one of my eyes. She didn’t use any spells on the second day, just some knives she seemed pretty partial to. She stabbed my shoulder, my left arm, and my left thigh. Then she would just cut me in smaller places, still asking me the same questions over and over, and if I was quiet, she’d cut me more.” 

@alicelxngbottom​

...

Alice tried to keep her face neutral as Emmeline continued to tell them of her time in the Lestrange basement, desperate to keep the emotions raging within from overpowering her. Alice had been an Auror for nearly ten years now, she should be used to this sort of thing. And in reality, she was. She had sat in on debriefs far worse than this and been able to turn off the emotional part of her to do the work that needed to be done. In fact, she had done it many times. But there was something about this that made it difficult to do that. She felt none of the usual cool, calm, clinical control that she usually felt in these situations. She couldn’t seem to separate her feelings from the work in front of her. 

Maybe it was the pregnancy, which would be the easiest thing to blame. After all, she was a mess of raging hormones and maternal instinct. Very few women in her position would be able to hear of these atrocities while feeling their child move beneath them. It was just a horrible sick reminder that she was bringing an innocent, defenseless child into the world in the middle of a war. But Alice knew that it was more than just the emotions of a pregnant woman. She loved each of her Aurors, but there was something about the Order members that moved her heart in a deeper way. Not only were they family to Alice, but she was keenly aware of how young most of them were. At least her Aurors weren’t sent into the field until they had proved themselves capable through three years of training. These Order members didn’t have that; they were still children. 

And looking at Emmeline now, Alice was struck with how young and vulnerable she looked. Of course Emmeline was incredibly strong and brave after everything she had been through; most would have broken in that situation and given their torturers the information they were looking for. But strong and brave or not, no one that young should have to go through what Emmeline had suffered. Alice didn’t often feel hopeless like this, but she couldn’t help wondering whether this was all worth it. How many more people that she cared about would be hurt or murdered before this was all over? And how could she bear to let any of them leave on mission knowing that this sort of thing was a possibility? 

@alamoody​

*mom voice* absolutely fucking not

dorcxsmdws​:

@alicelxngbottom

She was grateful for people like Alice – the ones who both knew her and that she could still speak publicly too.  The event had just begun, and people were still milling in the main room when she spotted Alice from across the dance floor.  Grabbing a glass of water and a cup of champagne for herself she walked over to where she was standing – she passed her the water and smiled.  “A nice turnout, don’t you think?  And still so early in the evening.”

She didn’t know Alice well, not really.  She had worked with her.  She trusted her.  But she didn’t know her – she didn’t know her favorite color or how she took her tea or her third favorite dragon.  It was a small distinction, but it was an important one for Dorcas, who had never been great at opening up to most people.  “How are you doing?  I’m sure it’s a bit uncomfortable, but there are lots of people who are glad you made it, I’m sure.”

...

Alice was grateful for her status as a pureblood cousin of Bellatrix Lestrange that got her an invite to this party, but she was wishing (not for the first time) that Frank were back from his mission and here with her. As an Auror and a high ranking member of the Order, Alice was no rookie when it came to dangerous situations, but the eight month bump she was sporting made her feel exceptionally nervous about the mission she knew her fellow Order members were currently executing. Somehow she had managed to avoid suspicions about her loyalty from her father’s family, and with her firstborn child about to arrive, it seemed necessary to keep things that way. But if something were to go wrong and one of the Order members were caught, Alice knew she couldn’t just stand by and watch.

So she was feeling a little on edge as Dorcas Meadowes approached her with a glass of water in hand. Relieved for a bit of company (especially from one whose position was similarly delicate), Alice smiled in welcome to the younger woman. Gratefully taking the water, Alice nodded. “I’m glad to be here too,” she replied quietly, her gaze once more sweeping across the crowd for any familiar figures. “I know I’m not much use right now, but it feels good to just be here.” She motioned to her belly with a slight laugh before turning her gaze back to Dorcas. “How are you? I’m sure this is all very nerve wracking for you.”

vancexemme​:

alamoody​:

Mary was lingering for a moment, just really to say her goodbyes and after what she’d been put through it was something he wouldn’t interrupt. A caring moment might be what Emmeline needs to get through the rough day ahead of them. It also gave him time to set up paper and quill, it was always best to make sure you accounted for everything. Some people would use enchanted muggle recorders, that’d dictate what it all heard, but he wasn’t much of a fan of that method. It felt like there was too big a margin for error, and keeping a focus on the recording would offer him a place to focus and he could keep himself at a distance as the story unfolded. It’d be emotional for Emmeline, he didn’t need to offer his own feelings for her.

Emmeline was quick to get down to business as soon as Mary left, starting from the beginning they all had some idea of. It did shed some light on the murder of poor Daisy Hookum, even gave them a murderer not that they would be able to go after him. The ministry seemed to have darkness brewing within them and it was obviously connected to the Death eaters. No one else would have the reason to go after the Order in the way that was done. Once the words were written, he spared a glance towards Alice to check on her. Her personal connections have just been added to the story and he knew she was perfectly capable of handling it, they were all looking out for each other through this.

The story was now paused, but with the way Emmeline was shaking and his knowledge of Bellatrix, he had a feeling they would surely be entering into the bad parts shortly. Bellatrix was rather vicious and he doubted that she’d wait long to dive into the nasty parts. He nodded in agreement with Alice, letting her take the lead on the emotional part. With his quill, he waited patiently for Emmeline to return to her story.  

@vancexemme​

-

Emmeline didn’t believe this would be healing for her. What she really wanted was to stuff it all in the back of her mind and forget about it, especially the gritty details they’d be getting into. But instead of voicing that, she nodded with Alice, putting her shaking hands to work petting Whiskers. Alice was an empathetic person, but she wasn’t one to say things for the sake of saying them, and Emmeline had to do the debriefing whether it was healing or not so it was better to try to let it make her feel better than to try and prove her wrong. 

“Bellatrix brought some man with her, I think his name was Flint but honestly it was just another man in a mask and a dark suit so I could be wrong,” She shrugged one shoulder, “He hauled me up and took me some back way down the stairs to the basement. There’s a cell with three walls made of stone and one of bars. They tossed me in and chained one hand to the wall with a manacle. Locked the door and left without saying anything. I think an hour later Dorcas came downstairs and talked with me, the party was ending. She offered to try and get me out then and there but it would have blown her cover, so I said no. She gave me some potions for emergency - a numbing potion and a knockout- and said she’d find the two of you, and tell you what had happened. No one else came down that night, but at some point I could hear Bellatrix screaming her head off.” 

Moody’s silence and the scratching of the quill was making her tick in an uneasy way and for a moment she paused and looked at him, waiting for it to stop before she continued, knowing it would just start up again as her story continued but just needing a moment of it not fiddling so she could breathe. 

“The next morning, Bellatrix came downstairs and asked me questions, she wanted names of our leaders, our meeting locations, any spies we had, she thought I knew something about Rabastan’s death,” She resolutely didn’t look at Moody while she said all of it. When Bellatrix had asked her, she had genuinely no idea who had killed her brother in law but sitting there now she knew - Dorcas had told her herself. “I said nothing, so she began to-to use some spells. She had notes with her, like she was trying something new-” Her thoughts went to Regulus and his tears, his rapid apologies the first day he’d come down the stairs, “One of them made me feel like my insides were on fire. The other reminded me of the cruciatus curse, but more…primal…I can’t think of another way to describe it. She rotated between those for a while, and kept asking me questions. After that I think she got bored or had some plans, because she left the house after that. I can’t…I don’t know how long things happened, but a little while later Regulus came downstairs. He was…emotional, kept apologizing for what was happening and gave me an apple to eat. I wasn’t very kind to him. Told him he was stupid and where he could shove his apple. Ate it eventually, though, kind of figured it would be the only meal I’d be getting for a while.”

@alicelxngbottom​

...

Alice braced herself as Emmeline really began to dive into the details, knowing that it wasn’t going to be pleasant, especially having to hear of how her cousin had tortured someone she cared about. As much as she didn’t want to, Alice did feel lingering affection towards her cousins. After all, they were her family, and she had seen firsthand how indoctrinated they all were into the blood purity nonsense. Bellatrix had been raised to be this way, and Alice had always had empathy for that. But she knew that after today, she would never be able to think of her family in the same light. She couldn’t unsee the monster. 

Alice was glad that Dorcas was able to sneak down to offer Emmeline some comfort, not that it made up for anything she had been through. There was relief that Dorcas hadn’t blown her cover, not when the information she was able to give them was so helpful, but Alice understood the offer. If she had been in Dorcas’ shoes, she would have had the same thought. Alice leaned forward, her face serious. She had a feeling that Emmeline didn’t want nor need her comfort, so she kept her game face on, listening to Moody scratching away beside her and knowing that it would likely be up to her to ask the follow up questions. “So did it seem that she believed the Order was responsible for Rabastan’s death?” Alice had heard about it, of course, but she had assumed that it was someone on their side, that maybe Voldemort had gotten angry and retaliated. It wouldn’t be the first time. To her knowledge, it wasn’t anyone in the Order. She would need to ask Dorcas if she knew abything about it.

Alice felt ill as Emmeline described the spells Bellatrix had used on her, but she kept her face neutral. It was frightening to know some of the ways the Death Eaters were beginning to get creative, and Alice had no doubt that soon her Aurors would begin experiencing some of the things that Emmeline was describing. She made a mental note to speak to Regulus about it -- maybe he would have some idea of where Bellatrix had discovered these spells; knowing that would be useful for discovering a way to protect against them. When Emmeline finished speaking, Alice gave her a moment to rest, giving Moody a chance to catch up as well. “Did you get any sense that they knew about Regulus’ visits?” They needed to know whether the Death Eaters suspected Regulus’ defection or whether they thought he had been kidnapped.

@alamoody​

homemade cosmic brownies

@frxnkislong

I know you and I love you. And I can’t wait to spend eternity with you.