Fucking Insane To Me That People Can Be Mean To Kids. This Thing Is Four To Five Shoe Boxes Tall And

EXACTLY!!! Also, why can't they confess normally??? Like "I like you" or smth

AND THEN THEY ROLL UP WITH:

"There is beauty in imperfections, they made you who you are." “Our paths diverged long ago. It was… affection, that held us together.” "Love is the most twisted curse of all.” “My six eyes tell me you’re Suguru Geto. But my heart and my soul knows otherwise!”

Y'ALL DRAMATIC AF!! should be even saying this im gay

why can't gay people flirt normally

like "ur cute," "no ur cute," isn't that hard

it doesn't have to be:

"finally the flesh reflects the madness within,"

"well, you'd know all about the madness within wouldn't you remus?"

Omg omg omg. It all makes so much more sense when you realise it's not social anxiety but a fear of being perceived.

Why do you feel more comfortable with a long coat and a mask as opposed to summer clothes?

Why do you DESPISE taking pictures? Especially if it's someone else and not you taking them.

Why do you feel like you have to stop doing whatever it was you were doing when someone passes by?

Why don't you want to tell anyone how leisurely you go about your day, taking a nap, going for a snack, sitting on your phone playing games etc. because you know they will comment on it and even though it's not negative or mockery it's still feels like you've been perceived?

Why can't you make eye contact? Why can you do it only if the other person is looking away but the second when they look at you you stop listening and when you're the one speaking you can't bear to look at them because you know their eyes are on you and they are perceiving you?

Why don't you want to dress excessively or wear nicer clothes? Because you will stand out

People mistake you for shy because you don't speak often, but it's really the fear of drawing attention to yourself more than it is the things you actually say, isn't it?

Why do you hate overpopulated areas even when no one is speaking? BUT you still feel more comfortable when more than one person is in the room (but not too many!) so that the burden of being perceived is directed on someone else and you can safely lay back just observing the scene.

It's all a defence mechanism

love, forever?

vampire! Suguru Geto x reader x vampire! Satoru Gojo

Blurb: Vampires are just things of myth. Little do you know that your recent ex Suguru is a tortured vampire himself, who hunts and slays other vampires that seek to do evil acts on humans. You're heartbroken, still reeling from the loss of the love of your life, clueless to the fact that Suguru broke up with you in order to protect you from his own dark urges. Suguru still grieves you immensely. One night, Satoru decides to make a plan to end to Suguru's grieving-- and what better way to do that than to understand the enemy?

Tags: Morality, and selfishness vs selflessness themes. // Vampire! Suguru and Satoru, who are vampire hunters that protect humans from evil ones. // Blooming rivalry between Satoru & reader for Suguru’s attention. // AU characters. Satoru is clingier and more emotional than his canon self. Suguru despises the strong (vampires) for hurting the weak (humans). // New vampire lore ;). // Angst. Suguru battling his inner demons, trying to do good despite his vampire nature and urges. // Reader has multiple targets on her back (Naoya appearance!) // Both Suguru and Satoru fall for reader. // Eventual smut in later chapters. //

Chapter Warnings: College party drinking, Reader slaps Satoru, Mentions of blood and feeding, Reader falls in a ditch (LOL), Suggestiveness, MDNI

Chapter Word Count: ~4.3k (it’s worth it!)

NOTE: even if you you saw the teaser already, or any edit of the teaser, please read this chapter, as I’ve edited it a lot, and added in more juicy dialogue & scenes ;)

Ch. 01 | Living Haunted

The drink is nothing short of young and dumb, the blend of tooth-rottingly sweet flavors hitting your taste buds as you stare holes into Suguru’s back. You can see the sculpture of his muscles and beautiful bones through his tight tee, your ex’s sculpted body turned away from you. He’s speaking to a girl you had heard about— the life of all parties, pretty, smart, and fun. You could see that she might be his type. Green jealousy explodes in your chest, along with a poisonous, deep sense of insecurity. The horrible feelings move through your body. Was he moving on already? Did you really mean so little to him? Would she be the one to make him stay?

You take another swig from the plastic blue cup, hoping the painful twisting motion of your heart would be soon dulled. Coca Cola, sherbet, and yakult alcohol would be your poison of the night, you think, swallowing down the concoction as tears prick your eyes. 

“Another one of those people who drinks their troubles away?” 

The voice amidst the bass and booming music causes you to turn, your eyes meeting striking blue ones. Snowy hair rests soft and thick on his head, your heart skipping a beat when you see such a beautiful stranger. 

If you were being honest, you weren’t in the mood to talk to somebody else— not when your heart was still tied right onto Suguru’s. You love Suguru, you really do. The recent past haunts your every waking moment. And even in your dreams, he’s there, chuckling as you braid his hair, the nonfiction book he’s been reading facedown in his lap as your fingers thread his silky locks; He’s watching you with a fond smile as you run ahead of him in the campus garden, jumping amongst the flowers; The warmth and sturdiness of his hands against your face as the two of you kiss— his soft, supple lips meeting yours in that familiar dance and tangle. In your dreams he’s still yours. You both made up. In your dreams, things are warm and right. 

When you wake up in an empty bed, with an aching heart, it just feels cruel. The light slipped away again. You thought you had it. You had your dream come true only to realize it was just that— a fleeting dream. There’s no respite from the memory of all his adoration, thoughtful gestures, all the times you’d stare mesmerized as he sat focused, his eyebrows pinched as he worked… The way he felt when you were wrapped in his embrace, your face buried in his sturdy chest— that feeling of being cared for— 

You missed him bad, with every fiber of your being. 

Suguru is still all you can think about. You’re at this damned college party because, even a month after he’d broken up with you, all you wanted was to be close to him, to see him. It’s pathetic. Knowing he’d be here, knowing you’d be tearing your heart open again, the wound freshly cut back open— and you still came here. How many times had you stalked his social media despite having been removed from his following? 

“Cat got your tongue?” The beautiful stranger breaks you out of your thoughts, forcing a reply. 

“No—” you start to say, raising your voice. It’s just barely audible over the clamor of the party. 

“Really?” He butts in, raising an eyebrow. “‘Cause it seems like there’s some hard evidence against your statement.” His small smile is as unconventional as it is disarming. 

“And you are?” 

“Satoru Gojo, if you haven’t heard about me already. I go here, don’t you know?”

You roll your eyes, scoffing. “And why would I know of you?” 

Satoru just tilts his head ever so slightly, his smile unwavering as he replies, “Your head is under a rock, is what I heard you say.”

Confusion flits across your face before your mouth falls open slightly, a feigned look of offense stretched on your features. You feel like ignoring this pesky person. You glance away for a second, in search of Suguru’s back— the spot he’d been standing in holds a different person, somebody you don’t know, somebody you’re not at all interested in. You frown, scanning the crowd.

Satoru waves a hand in front of your face. You look up at him, annoyed.

“Why are you talking to me?”

“What? Need a reason to talk to a pretty girl?” 

“That’s an overused line,” You shout back, the music so loud you can barely hear yourself. Your attention shifts away from the snowy haired man back to the sea of party goers. You desperately search the throng of buzzing chaos. No sign of Suguru. Just dancing, mingling, kissing, drinking, the typical activities going on under the strobe lights. Fuck.

Suguru, where did you go? Please… Your heart feels like it’s a rock in your stomach. Please don’t tell me you’re fucking her right now in somebody’s bedroom. It’s not my business— but I can’t stand the thought of it—

Satoru chuckles, and you look back at him, unable to hide your expression of pain. You’re about to excuse yourself to find a bathroom to cry in, when he speaks again.

“You’re right. How should I flirt, hm? Wanna coach me? It’ll lift your blues, too,” His smirk would’ve had you folding had you not ever met Suguru. But you did cross paths with the raven-haired man— collided and intertwined, more like— and now nobody compares to him. Nobody would ever be him. 

“Not really. Excuse me,” you begin to say, before turning slightly, about to slip away—

“Suguru is my best friend,” he says. 

You freeze, whipping around now to face Satoru.

“He told me about you— first time he ever told me about anyone, actually. Suguru said you were somebody he actually loved.” Satoru’s cheeky expression has been wiped off, replaced with one of aloof nonchalance and detachment. It’s almost eerie, but your focus isn’t on that.

You’re at a loss for words, eyes caught on Satoru’s, hanging onto everything he says like maybe, just maybe, it means that Suguru wants you back.

“He’s had his fair share of flings and hookups, after all.” Satoru teases, smirking again, bending down to your level.

“I thought I was losing my best friend to a weakling.” His breath is surprisingly chilly against your face. “Turns out you were never the one. Sucks that you couldn’t make him stay.” You feel everything shatter. “Sucks for you, I mean,” Satoru finishes. He leaves out the part where he gloats about being the one Suguru has always admired, and stuck with. 

You’re shocked, mouth hanging open. You’re hurt. You’re aching in confusion about what wasn’t good enough about you. You’re angry and betrayed— all the feelings clash like giant waves crashing against one another inside your heart. 

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” 

Satoru grins, shrugging. “It means what it means. But I’m curious,” he says, leaning closer, his pearly teeth glinting red under the strobe lights, “What is it about you that had Suguru caught up on ya?” His lips graze your cheek, his voice in your ear, “I don’t get it.”

You slap him before you can realize what you’re doing. Violence is not the answer, but this time, it sure as hell felt like it. Your fingers sting, your panicked thoughts a running train. Did I just? Oh my god! I didn’t— I fucking did—

“I— I’m sorry—” you stammer quickly, eyes wide in shock at your own actions. Satoru is eerily emotionless, staring down at you with those startling ocean eyes. You shiver despite the heat of the stuffy, overcrowded room. 

“Hm.” 

It’s all he says. You open your mouth to speak again, blinking— 

And he’s gone. 

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

A swig of the liquor causes the liquid to slosh in the green bottle. 

“Thought you liked shy girls, Suguru?” Satoru pokes, a red handprint on his cheek. He’s kicked back on the couch outside the bathroom, grimacing when the alcohol hits his tongue. He’s spitting it out back into the bottle immediately. 

“I do,” Suguru replies calmly, a streak of lovely bare skin showing amidst the shaving cream on his face. He runs the razor back down, taking off more of the fluffy white foam. 

“Yeesh. Can’t believe we used to drink this shit,” Satoru sticks his tongue on dramatically, tossing the full glass of alcohol across the room. It lands right in the trash bin with a clang. “That’s where it belongs,” he huffs. 

“So?” Satoru prompts, kicking his feet up. “You realize she doesn’t fit your ideal type, right? Why’d you get with her for a whole year, then?”

“She was shy at first,” Suguru says softly, a glint of something like pain in his eyes. He catches Satoru’s gaze on him in the mirror and the glint disappears. Satoru notices, but says nothing, now peeling open a candy from its foil wrapper. 

“And I told you already, Satoru,” Suguru continues, sparing his friend an exasperated glance. “I love—d her.” A blip. A mistake so quickly covered that if it was anyone but Satoru, they’d have missed it.

Blue eyes pierce Suguru. 

“But it wasn’t going to work out. Love isn’t meant for us. You and I… We’re not meant to be with humans,” Suguru murmurs, looking at his face in the mirror. It was myth that vampires didn’t have reflections. They do. But there’s something the myths forgot. Some sort of change is written in a vampire’s eyes. There always has been, and always will be, some sort of difference from a person’s antecedent human form, and their new, evolved one, hidden in their eyes after they turn. Suguru touches his eyebags, dark and heavy. 

That’s not what changed. No. His warm, earthy brown eyes had turned purple the night Satoru turned him. He woke up with them, the day after everything changed. 

Suguru’s tired reflection stares back at him, rich amethyst irises shining like glossy, sharp stars in the mirror. He wishes he didn’t recognize them. Now he’s stuck dealing with people commenting on his “cool contacts,” for the rest of eternity. Suguru exhales deeply, softly, his still, dead heart aching.

“Being undead with a vital thirst for human blood will do that,” Satoru ho-hums, blissfully unaware of the insensitive nature of his obliviousness. 

Suguru is silent, continuing to shave. He grimaces at the knowing that his vampire instincts made him crave you dangerously, the one he loves, more than anything else. It was cursed, his very existence. He was turned into a walking, sentient, functioning monster. The blade knicks his skin. He curses quietly.

“So,” Satoru grunts with chocolate melting on his tongue, grateful that at least his cravings and delight in sweets didn’t change when they turned, “You don’t trust yourself to be around her without hurting her. But you were doing well for a year. What do you say changed?”

Suguru dabs at the blood dripping down his otherwise unmarked face. It would heal, his skin would be perfectly smooth again in a day, not a trace of his mistake, or scar, would remain. All wounds heal within 24 hours for vampires. It’s something Suguru was grateful for, considering his job of being a vampire slayer. 

“My urges got insatiable. Blood bags weren’t enough,” Suguru says curtly. Despite the battle of breaking up with you being long over, Suguru’s mind is a war zone. I couldn’t even look at her… without… needing to taste her blood. His fists clench on the marble sink. It got bad. I almost hurt her.

Satoru stares at his best friend, knowing that in this silence, his mind is a maelstrom. Suguru sees Satoru’s unflinching gaze, but remains quiet. He knows his friend won’t understand. 

But Satoru presses on anyway, nodding, looking bored. 

“Right. You can’t suppress your urges right now. That happened to me too. The second year is the hardest.” Satoru was the one who turned Suguru, after all, on that unwelcomed, fateful night. “It helps when you just feed on multiple pretty girls a night and compel them all to forget— You could’ve had both, you know. Her and human blood from others. You’re so mopey now.” Satoru’s callous remark piques Suguru’s irritation, a flame of anger burning in the raven-haired man’s chest.

“I won’t do that and be in a relationship.” 

“I saw you feeding on that random chick an hour ago. If you and I didn’t always ask for consent before feeding, I’d never have believed she would be okay with that,” Satoru’s eyes gleam playfully. Suguru doesn’t reply, and Satoru deflates. 

“You’re still grumpy. You move around like you’re actually dead, Suguru. You torture yourself by still caring about your ex. She’s nothing special. I don’t get it.” 

Ah. The truth comes out. Suguru’s eyebrows knit, his mouth pressed into a firm line as something dark flickers in his eyes. 

“Satoru, she has a name, and she’s worth something even if you can’t see it. Just shut up.”

“And what worth do you see in her?”

Suguru is silent for a moment. How could he convey the light and warmth that you were in his life? He’d died twice, once literally, once figuratively, and yet— you brought him back. “…She’s… good.”

“And?”

Suguru’s temper flares. “You just don’t get it, so will you just leave it?” He snarls, fangs involuntarily popping out. He curses silently in disgust at what he has become. 

“You’re such a grouch nowadays,” Satoru huffs, before popping another chocolate into his mouth. He gets up, stretching. 

“Well. I need to feed again.” 

“Be safe about it. And I’m not referring to your safety,” Suguru says sternly, his whole head turned to look at Satoru now, some white foam still on the man’s face. 

“Yeah, yeah, mom, I got it.” With that, Satoru pulls his black coat over his lean, muscled body, a wolfish grin on his face as he slips out the apartment door. Did he need the black coat? No. Not at all. Vampires don’t get cold. They’re already icy to the touch. But it helps him blend in, both with humans and the night. 

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

You’re intoxicated. It’s two AM and you’re stumbling around campus like a fucking idiot. 

Well how about that? Satoru spies you from across the quad, your movements sluggish and uncoordinated. 

He slips through the shadows. 

You nearly jump when a tall, dark figure appears before you, looming over you. 

Snowy hair shines in the lamplight, blue eyes flashing like glaciers, staring right at you. You swear they flash red for a second.

“You again?” You slur your words. You aren’t scared. He’s Suguru’s best friend, which means he by extension must be a good guy. Almost as if he hears your thoughts, Satoru grins. His teeth are brilliant, his canines shining ivory and glistening like expensive accessory jewels.

If Satoru was being honest, this was a chance to understand the enemy. The golden goal would be to get Suguru to forget about you and move on, so his best friend could finally look and be alive again, the two of them happily slaying the vampires that hurt humans— and this was the first step in his plan. 

“Hey,” he nearly purrs, slinking around you as you take a step forward— stumbling a bit— 

Cold fingers grip you firmly, holding you upright. Satoru: 1, gravity: 0. 

“You’re fucking making me freeze even more!” You retort, snapping at him as you yank your warm arm away from his cool grasp. You were more than tipsy, but you recalled his rudeness from earlier.

He lets you go and you teeter. “Just trying to help. You sure aren’t shy, huh?” Satoru remarks.

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” You spit out, the question giving you both Deja vu.

“It means what it means,” Satoru grins. Deja-fucking-vu. You’re getting fed up now, huffing and mumbling under your alcohol-tinged breath, an insult that Satoru’s super hearing picks up on. He stifles a laugh. You keep walking. 

“Wait,” Satoru calls out. You don’t turn around or slow your snail-like pace. He strides up to you in two quick, lengthy steps. He bends, entering your vision, his teeth sharp and protruding from his close lipped smile. Were they always that long?

“I’m great at reading people. And as much as you want to deny it, your heart is beating faster around me.” He suppresses his urge to poke your ribcage, directly over the beating muscle. 

“Shut up,” you growl. 

“You could make me, you know.”

“There you go again with that cliche flirting,” you snort. 

“And here I am again, asking if you’re offering lessons. Though the better question would be if you’re even qualified to give them,” Satoru grins.

He keeps up with your sluggish pace as you try to make your way back to the dorms.

“What do you want from me? Don’t you think it’s weird to be flirting with your best friend’s ex?” 

You think this will shut him up. That, or he’ll have a lame excuse. But for the first time in this second conversation you’re having with him, his answer changes.

“If I’m being honest,” he speaks in a rich, velvety, low voice, and you almost feel entranced, your feet stopping, your gaze resting on Satoru. “I’m doing this for him. And about what I want?” 

You sway in the chilly night breeze, barely registering anything but the sound of his voice. 

“I want to know you better,” he purrs. You’re breathless as he continues, his voice like a siren in your ear, “If you were sober, would you let me bite you?”

He pulls away, and you’re back to your senses in a second. You feel like slapping him again. You almost do, but your hand misses, causing you to stumble. 

“Too slow!” He cackles as you tumble onto the ground, your dress flying up.

You look absolutely humiliated, livid, and harmless from the ground, eyes narrowed in deep hatred for this weirdo. 

“Need a hand?” Satoru smirks, his tall, silhouetted form outlined in light from the lamp behind him. 

You push off the cold cement, ignoring him, fuming silently as you continue your drunken walk to the dorms. That typical pang of hunger hits Satoru out of the blue, impelling him to leave.

“I have to go now. See you around,” Satoru says, before disappearing, the need to find a sober person he can get consent from to feed on overpowering him. 

Suddenly the night is quiet again, save for the occasional rustle of leaves in the wind. You keep walking, not realizing that there are no longer lamps to light the way until you’re surrounded by darkness. You aren’t familiar with this part of campus, squinting to see the road sign to your right. You barely make out the words ‘Under Construction’ written in bold black letters, and you shiver as the cool breeze swings through the area. A snapping twig sounds behind you and your eyes widen, fear running through your intoxicated bloodstream. 

“Hello?” You call out. You hate to admit it, but you regret letting Satoru leave. Nobody answers.

You take another step into the darkness, speeding up your pace. Another snap of a twig, and you’re breaking out into a full blown run now— blood rushes through your ears—

Something catches your foot, and you tumble forward, falling down into a ditch, knocking out.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

Satoru sighs contentedly, his eyes crossing as he swallows his last gulp of blood for the night. The woman is staring at the ceiling with a lovestruck look, the pleasure from the toxin in his fangs acting like a drug. He releases his lips from her skin, licking at the two puncture marks on her neck. 

“Fuck…” She mewls, leaning in to kiss Satoru. He lets her kiss him.

“Look at me,” Satoru commands gently, his voice taking on a different tone now— and she’s under his spell in an instant. 

“Forget this entire interaction. Forget that you ever saw me. Forget that I fed on you. Don’t question the slight tenderness in your neck tomorrow morning. Associate it with sleeping weirdly,” he murmurs, and she’s caught on his every word, nodding when he stops talking. 

“Good.”

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

Satoru retraces his steps, walking on the road he last saw you on. His teeth have retracted, going back to a normal length, as they always do after he’s fed. Yeah, he may be selfish, jealous, and dislike you— but he’s not a villain. It’s late, you are intoxicated, and he still wants to make sure you’re okay. 

“She’s probably fast asleep back at her dorm. I’m just wasting my time,” he grumbles in the dark. But he just has this funny feeling, like something happened, and now he’s acting like some lovesick fool that worries and checks in on their lover. 

Blood. Satoru smells it, that familiar, rich, sharp scent that sends a rush of electricity through his body. Because he just fed, his brain doesn’t light up as it usually would, and he realizes that somebody is hurt— and that somebody is probably you. 

Satoru’s legs are a blur as he races towards the source—

He stands over a dirt edge, a hole in the path made by the ongoing construction. You lay in the ditch looking like a broken doll, effectively knocked out. There’s a gash on your arm and knee. 

“Fuck,” Satoru curses, quickly climbing down to get to you. He’s by your side in a flash, checking your pulse. It’s normal. He feels the tension in his body drain. You’re probably just passed out from the combination of alcohol and falling in a ditch. Satoru rolls his eyes, huffing, “Idiot,” as he scoops you up into his arms. 

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

He didn’t know what to do. Leave you in the hallway of the coed dorm? Drop you off at the 24/hour care station? He figured he should do the latter, and so he went. 

He dings the bell at the front desk, shifting to readjust your relaxed body. Ten seconds go by. During that time, Satoru finds himself staring at your face, a few smears of dirt on your skin. You breathe in and out, because you have to. It’s not like him and Suguru, who breathe to fake their normalness and blend in. They have no need for oxygen. Your lips look so soft. Your chest rising and falling gently, you look totally at peace, and Satoru is mesmerized. He gets lost in the rhythm of your breaths for a moment— the steady beat of your heart bringing about a peace and longing ache in his own lifeless one. He snaps out of his daze, and rings the bell again, huffing impatiently. Another ten seconds go by, and he starts to spam the bell. 

“Where are they?” He grumbles. Satoru slips behind the desk, frowning and pissy, looking into the back room. Nobody is there. 

“Seriously?” 

He can’t just leave you here when the door is unlocked and the place is unattended. Satoru curses under his breath again, looking down at your sleeping face, your body curled against his frame in his arms. 

“Guess Suguru has to confront his demons tonight,” Satoru sighs, not realizing the weight of the statement he’s just uttered.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

Sweet, mouth-watering, the scent of a dream— it wafts through the hallway, into his room, and Suguru wakes up with a growling stomach. 

Human blood. One that smells absolutely ravishing. Suguru sits up, alert and awake, wondering if Satoru brought back somebody to share, somebody who wanted to be fed on and possibly fucked by the two of them. The raven-haired man stands up and tears open his door—

Satoru is hunched over a body on the couch. Suguru makes his way over, his fangs protruding, his amethyst eyes glinting with hunger—

Satoru finishes wiping the blood off your arm, the sight of the red cloth in his hand making Suguru freeze when he realizes Satoru brought back a hurt person.

“Satoru–” 

Satoru turns, standing up, and Suguru finally catches a glimpse of who is on their couch. If his heart was beating, it would have skipped a beat. 

Suguru’s eyes are wide, his mouth agape. You?

“Hey,” the snowy-haired vampire says. “Before you get pissed—!”

Suguru is crossing the living room in a flash, shoving Satoru up against the wall. Suguru’s head is ringing, swirling with hunger, anger, fear, grief, and shame. Something as seemingly small as the sight of you did that to him. 

“Did you fucking hurt her? I swear to god, if you so much as touched a hair on her head—” Suguru hisses before Satoru shoves his best friend back, scowling.

“Listen for a second! She was in a ditch when I found her, okay? By the construction site. I may not like this little pest of a weakling, but I didn’t hurt her,” Satoru retorts. Suguru backs off, clenching his fists so hard that it draws red blood of his own. His eyes burn holes into the floorboards. 

Satoru watches, a beat of silence passing before he speaks up, “Hey, Suguru. Just… just take a moment to get a hold of yourself. If you have to take a walk…”

What Satoru didn’t understand was how absolutely feral Suguru was for you, down to a chemical level. Bringing you around was enough to make Suguru’s head pound with a dizzying need to feast on you— but bringing you when you were bleeding? Suguru is feeling white hot need pulse throughout his body.

“She— she’s not supposed to be here—” Suguru manages to say, his voice strained. 

“Why–”

“She can’t be by me!” Suguru roars, looking up from the ground to meet Satoru’s shocked gaze. Suguru’s purple eyes are filled with a storm of anger and pain, and Satoru opens his mouth to apologize—

But Suguru is gone in a blink, the door to their apartment creaking as yellow light from the hallway spills in, falling on your face, painting you in a soft glow. 

Feedback, Comments, and Reblogs, are highly appreciated and honestly do help me write faster :)

comment to be on the tag list!

JJK Masterlist

love, forever? Masterlist

love, forever? Tag List:

@vertigoswan @sukunadckrider @97543idk

@coffeeew @pl4ygirlie @username23345

@indiewritesxoxo @ivydoesit23 @candy-s72

@luvsymai @mannythemunchkin @peqch-pie

@norissisca @inlustris-is-slowly-dying

falling forever and ever

I know that a big part of Sokka's arc was to become a leader and he obviously proved that he can be one

But look at my girl Katara. She's exactly like her dad

She was born to lead. She went out of her way to prove that she can be known for more than healing and she just ended up being recognized as one

She is also a master waterbender, but I guess that's not important enough to get a statue

Lin still really needs to be set free from the actual mess he is in, my man did NOT sign up for any of this. I mean like literally he did but that's besides the point. How was dude supposed to know about Nice's boyfriend bestfriend?

AKUJI'S SATOSUGU ANALYSIS (PT.1)

!longassrant

In part one, I'll discuss a few things regarding symbolism and metaphors surrounding the two and how they complement each other. As much as I loathe Akutami, I do admire their symbolism surrounding the cast of JJK.

BLACK AND WHITE, LIGHT AND DARK

I feel like this is a prominent thing in the SatoSugu shippers to associate SatoSugu with black and white, myself included. Whenever I see black and white, I get SatoSugu PTSD. This is really what my life has come to, LOL.

Let's put Satoru as the Light and Suguru as the Dark. ( This is something I love because of how light and dark exist. One cannot be without the other, yet when light is present — dark cannot be. And when dark is present, light cannot be. Sound familiar? Yep, it's them.

We know they both probably wanted to be together but their ideals set them apart. Dark will always exist opposite to Light, and Light would always exist opposite to Dark. But they cannot be defined without each other.

And it does align with what they do become because Satoru became the Light of Jujutsu Society, they had hope because of him. When Satoru enters the scene to save the day, sorcerers are relieved, sorcerer feel safe. When he got sealed, everything fell apart, it just shows how much Jujutsu Society relied on him and trusted him to resolve everything. He taught the new generation of sorcerers, he guided them towards a new future, like a sort of guiding light.

Suguru on the other hand, he consumed the worst in the world, curses. He was confronted by the vile taste of curses every time he consumes one and after Riko Amanai's death, he was faced with the cruelty of the system, the darkness of the world. He despised the likes of people like Toji who are willing to assassinate an innocent teenage girl purely just for money. And, Toji didn't even need to kill Riko, he heard them talk, Riko wasn't even going to become Tengen's new vessel.

The whole experience with Toji changed the duo, but for Suguru, it hurt that he fought with everything he had to avenge Satoru but was left there barely living as a failure only to find his best friend completely changed to the point where he was going to kill all of the humans who were applauding them. Although he convinced Satoru they should be spared, I don't think Suguru himself thinks they deserve to live. The applauds haunted him, I'm sure he was utterly disgusted a room of adults were celebrating the death of an innocent, young girl.

The scene with depressed Suguru, we hear rain outside but if you listen carefully, they sound more like claps, like the ones he has heard back with the Cult. (also, it's funny to me that he started his own cult after being traumatised by one.)

Suguru genuinely wanted to create a world for the weak but after what happened, it's safe to say he stopped considering non-sorcerers as the weak. He already had a theory that sorcerers weren't the problem but non-sorcerers and that mindset drove Suguru mad, paired with the curses he consumes which are manifestations of the negative parts of humanity. The only way for Suguru to move forward with his life is to eradicate all non-sorcerers. He refused the other path because to him to choose non-sorcerers at this point would be to accept more people like Toji, the people in Star Religious Group and the people in the village who threatened Mimiko and Nanako.

Wow, there's a lot for Suguru's part, haha.

Black and White, Light and Dark— or whatever similar. They fit. I could compare them to Yin and Yang, but I don't fully understand its meaning so, I won't.

CURSED TECHNIQUES

I also love what their cursed techniques represent in each other. And how it ties into the story.

Suguru's cursed technique manipulates cursed spirits after consuming them. Consume, which is the first thing we see him doing in the opening of Hidden Inventory. He's a consumptive force, because he consumes the responsibility of protecting the weak.

Satoru on the other hand, repels. He's an outward force, extending out a physical barrier that creates distance between his body and the world. The Infinity and Reversal Red that repels and disconnects him from the people around him. Satoru repelled the idea of protecting the weak, actively discarding them during HI's basketball scene.

Can I point out how the scene after Star Religious group makes sense now? Blue attracts, it's a consumptive force, Suguru leaned into it. Red repels, Satoru stepped into red. It just really enhances their characters further…ah, remind me how much I love this animanga.

Satoru focused on becoming the Strongest and rejected everything else. Suguru consumed the negative emotions and trauma, leading him to go mad to the point killing all non-sorcerers could be the only way he could live with himself.

They're really meant to be together because consumption can only exist if there's a repellant force pushing back. They're not opposites, I will say. Both Satoru and Suguru contain parts of each other within each other. Sort of like Yin and Yang, but again I don't fully understand Yin and Yang enough to do a full analysis of them associating with Yin and Yang.

I think I will conclude the cursed technique analysis here because trying to understand cursed techniques in JJK…it burns my brain. Especially with those powerscalers.

"You're Late, ..."

This was done multiple time for them, and ugh it pains me.

Yup, this one right here, this motif foreshadows the tragedy of Satoru and Suguru's love story. 

We see Suguru running through the rain urgently. He so desperately needs an umbrella. Satoru? Well, you can see he's wasting time looking at a cat...he's not hurrying at all. But he has what Suguru needs, an umbrella. Well, Satoru didn't even need an umbrella.

Suguru is waiting impatiently in the rain, and he's not using his bag to cover up his head anymore. He knows Satoru is coming; that's why he's impatient.

Suguru needs him, but Satoru doesn’t pick up the pace.

By the time he finally shows up, the sun has come out. By then Suguru has accepted the fact that Satoru took too long. They can’t share the umbrella any more because they missed their chance to use it.

“You’re late, Satoru.”

And you all know what follows up...

Also a little bonus:

Those are osmanthuses.

The name Osmanthus comes from the Greek language, Osma(fragrant) and Anthos(flower), literally meaning Fragrant Flower. Osmanthus flowers are a symbol of love and romance, blooming for only a few days in the Spring, and are celebrated during wedding ceremonies and the Chinese Moon Festival in August

The animators shipped them, you cannot convince me otherwise.

This was supposed to be longer, and I do want to continue it but again, I'm tired to continue. Kind of lost motivation and my initial ideas poofed already.

Akuji out!

live, laugh, love Satoru

(tagging @everythingseasoning as she requested. Awaiting your response!)

I love how you mentioned Gojo being a gift, a rarity and a power. It's painfully true, it's not that Gojo isn't cared for as a person at all, that's false. But it's the fact his powers overshadow that he's a person as well. We see this in the scene, "Who is Satoru Gojo to you?" most prominently. Everyone said one thing, the Strongest. I will not pretend that other details weren't added but that was the main highlight. The Strongest. Not, "my teacher", or "a good friend" or any of the sort as the main point. It's "the Strongest" that's the main highlight. That's his main appeal to the world.

And of course, Gojo would centre his personality around being the strongest because that is the expectation placed on him by his peers and the role everyone expects him to take. Had he fell short, he'd be taken for a failure, and we do know Gojo had plenty of experiences exorcising curses and surviving assassination attempts, the life he led was meant to one destination, the Strongest. He couldn't fall short, this is what his entire life is based on. He'd practically have no identity to go off of, the Strongest is the sole thing he's pushed for, the only reason he's seen, the sole reason he has any form of purpose. Before Geto, he had practically no one he was very close to. Imagine if Gojo failed to meet the expectations. Who would he even be? People would look down on him, he'd go down as one of the biggest fumbles in history. And it's not like he'd have anyone to live for, or even himself for the matter. That's all he had until Geto, it's no wonder he'd stick to it.

Strength would be the only thing he had (or he thinks) to care for. He's rich, his clan is influential, heck — he's darn attractive and he himself acknowledges that. The only thing he needs to do is become the Strongest. It's all so simple…Or so he thought. His lack of connections and simple-mindedness led him to neglect connections as they weren't a huge part of his life (until Suguru ofc). It's laid out in front of him.

Or so he thought. His lack of connections and simple-mindedness led him to neglect connections as they weren't a huge part of his life (until Suguru ofc). It's laid out in front of him.

And his technique is major proof he cannot rely on anyone but himself, the very infinity separating him from the people around him. They'll get in his way and mess things up. As Kenjaku had said, "Every technique is its own worldview". This is what Gojo's technique gives him. The Infinity that separates him from others, Lapse Blue that repels things around him. And we see how he fights- alone. Sorcerers fight together, and it's only together they beat curses. (hence the jumpings) But not Gojo. He is the exception to this. He fights alone. If others join him, they get in the way. Like a "monster". He's alone in the battlefield.

Now, to our precious Suguru Geto. Geto was a big influence in Gojo's life because they complemented one another. In one way is Geto's more thoughtful insight in things. I've already stated above Gojo was rather simple-minded. Like you've mentioned, a 17yo Gojo saw the world as either weak or strong. He doesn't consider anything else, he comes off as unempathetic and uncaring when he really just doesn't know or doesn't outright consider it. Geto offered a different perspective to Gojo, he made Gojo think more deeply before taking action and looking at how Gojo entrusted it in Geto's hands whether he should massacre the Star Religious Group, he trusted Geto's judgement so much that he'd become a mass murderer if Geto had said it is justified to kill them.

It is obvious Geto is more thoughtful, take the basketball scene. Geto thinks deeply and offers moral points. Something Gojo admits to seeing it only as a tool to make one feel better about themselves. He points out the Societal Impact Gojo's actions would have. Gojo doesn't think about that, to illustrate, being careless and not putting up a veil. In the basketball scene, he couldn't see the problem it would have but Geto did, he pointed out that non-sorcerers knowing the existence of Cursed Spirits would create more fear and anxiety and result in more Cursed Spirits. He even joked whether they'd be blamed for Amanai's death and yes, of course, him being willing to massacre the star religious group. Gojo isn't very moral, he has a loose moral code.

Hell, that's evident during Geto's defection. Gojo didn't try to insult Geto or call him out on his wrongdoings, he asked for a reason. It just seems to me he wanted an answer to justify Geto's actions.

It wasn't until after Geto left he realised his strength couldn't save everyone. He could only save those who want to be saved. He realised the flaws in jujutsu society and how that led Geto onto his path. Gojo could've easily overthrown jujutsu society, he remarked that himself but he doesn't because he knew it'd just lead to even more chaos and destruction because it would only be temporary. By nurturing a new generation, he could rebuild everything with them. Geto always treated Gojo with so much love, care and respect, I'm certain he wanted to do something familiar to also fill the hole that Geto left after his defect. I could also add he realised the injustice the system did to him as well, he's only reduced to the Strongest, Geto pointed that out and although he stuck to it, he realises it wasn't exactly the best way for him to go but he wrongly thought it was too late for him to change. In a light novel, Gojo interrupts Nanami about Yuji, declaring that they weren't dealing with Sukuna's vessel but protecting a kid named Yuji Itadori. He obviously doesn't want his students in his role. And even more, evidenced by Gojo when he told Yuta off about becoming the "monster".

OH GOD, I STILL HAVE *MORE* TO YAP ABOUT! I'm going to stop here because I have to study. 😭😭

Anyway, I love my glorious blue-eyed King, Satoru Gojo.

Happy late 35th birthday, sweetie. Rest in the afterlife.

Satoru Gojo character analysis (incomplete)

Happy late birthday, to the glorious blue eyed king.

I can’t stop thinking about how a kid will latch onto the praise and expectations of the adults around them. And that’s what Gojo did. From the moment he was born, he was told he would be great. To be great is to be different; As a kid, Gojo was treated as a gift, a rarity, a power— his innate talents overshadowed the fact that he was a person. As a kid, he didn’t catch onto the latter (that he is as human as anyone else), instead learning that he was special, incomparable, honored. His innate abilities coupled with how everybody saw him doomed Gojo to be shaped as a weapon. Can you blame Gojo for centering his personality around being the strongest? During the infamous fallout scene, Geto called Gojo out, playing on the concept of nature vs nurture, when he said, “Are you the strongest because you’re Satoru Gojo? Or are you Satoru Gojo because you’re the strongest?” Geto was essentially pointing out that the talents that Gojo was born with took on a huge defining role in who Gojo is as a person, which is to say, he’s powerful. And Gojo prides and defines himself on his strength. What did that leave room for? Certainly not human connection, introspection, or self expression— all things necessary to connect deeply with yourself, and others. Gojo was reduced to being strong, and only that. And when you’re strong, set apart from the rest, and praised for it, it’s not natural to think of yourself as the same as others. Being the strongest— such a position is inherently isolating. Because of his innate abilities, Gojo did not have much control over who he would become. (See: soft determinism definition for a philosophical explanation).

It’s important to note that Gege said that Gojo’s personality was his greatest strength. I believe he said this because it’s Gojo’s personality that lets him a) tap into his abilities that make him so strong in the first place, and b) handle the responsibility and isolation that comes with his position. In early life, Gojo was surrounded by an overbearing clan, without siblings, and without friends, and told that he was the chosen one who restored the balance of the world, as his mere existence caused curse users to retreat into the shadows— According to his own family and the Jujutsu Higher Ups, Gojo’s mission was to train, gain control over his abilities, and hone his skills. He did so, throwing himself into his training and mastering the tricky Six Eyes gift by reading old texts of his own will, training himself. Gojo was treated as a goal by his own family, and he never got a childhood or knew the warmth of a loving home. He never socialized with other humans. He didn’t get to run around and play. He didn’t ever see other children his age cry or smile. Rather, a huge responsibility was placed on him. Gojo never broke under the pressure. He was ambitious, and strong. He could train without having the normal human needs of socialization, acceptance, and love, fulfilled. He was conditioned to focus on being a weapon, capable and strong in battle, leaving no room for the autonomy of thinking and wishing for a life beyond sorcery. Who needs acceptance when you have already been defined, and you fulfill that role? What Gege said about Gojo’s personality being his greatest strength, it takes a certain kind of person to carry such responsibilities, and live isolated, without the need to break free from such mental, emotional, and physical confines. Gojo could do this, and thus, Gojo lived without human connection for most of his life (Geto and Gojo’s students being the sole exceptions), standing tall and strong— and alone. Another point: Gojo stated that he had trouble connecting to people. Everyone, to some degree, craves human connection, and needs it to thrive. In order to connect with others, we need vulnerability. So why could Gojo succeed even without his best friend in his life? His innate talent and intensive training had conditioned him against vulnerability in all senses— identity and strength wise. But this isn’t enough— most people would still break had they been in Gojo’s shoes. It’s Gojo’s personality that allows him to uphold himself, stay strong, and keep fighting for his mission, as we went over. It is as if an essential pathway going from the outside world to the heart, is blocked, shut off in Gojo. If you are to be the strongest, then you do not have the right to needing human connection to survive.

Gege stated that Gojo’s greatest weakness was also his personality. The very thing that allowed Gojo to become the strongest is what isolated him. That conditioning into being the strongest, along with his natural aloofness and insensitivity towards the emotions of others, created a roadblock in how Gojo connected with people. Gojo’s eyes were always trained on strength, creating a lens of “people are either strong, or weak.” The audience can see that when Gojo is 17 and arrogant, complaining about having to protect the weak. For Gojo, his entire world was jujutsu. While not heartless (we see him save regular people), Gojo had no idea how to talk to anybody, no idea how to care about anybody who wasn’t in a situation he was familiar with. As a teenager, Gojo is not the kindest soul (and this isn’t to fault him, as most teens aren’t the kindest person at that stage in life). Gojo makes callous comments that reflect his lack of sensitivity for others, such as asking Geto, “You think we’ll be blamed if the kid died from that?” (Gojo’s later behavior towards Ijichi is also telling, and it was stated that he does not realize how deeply he irks Utahime). At 17 years old, Gojo is simply doing the mission as the Higher Ups demand, without thinking much beyond that. He thinks of himself, how the mission affects him and him only. He even states that moral arguments are what people say to make themselves feel better. It’s clear that Gojo is not passionate and dedicated to their mission, not in the way Geto was (only for Geto to become disillusioned, see my Suguru Geto Character Analysis here). One could argue that Gojo’s weakness is that he isn’t innately empathetic, as he did not pay much attention to his or anyone else’s needs and feelings, which, while necessary for him to become the strongest solider, had also led to him living a life he didn’t choose, and without much ability for human connection. However, we do see moments in which Gojo does indeed connect with people through play (ie with Geto, Riko, Yuuji), and in these rare moments he may feel enough emotion to make decisions that go against the cold logic of Jujutsu Society, such as when he refuses to sleep, letting Riko have her last day of youth at the beach in Okinawa. Another key instance of this is when Gojo lets Geto walk away from KFC without killing him. (Before y’all attack me, please remember that 1) I am giving an evidence-based analysis, and 2) this isn’t to say that Gojo is a bad guy. Just because somebody is not deeply sensitive does not make them bad. Gojo is not a villain by any means. He does good things).

It wasn’t until a bit later on in life, after seeing his best friend defect, when Gojo gained another lens: that of protecting the youth from a corrupt system built on old traditions and child soldiers. Gojo’s new mission was one that his kid self, and all his peers, had needed. And that, that was the mission that Gojo dedicated himself to. —Adult Gojo’s way of caring for others was either through teaching them what he had learned himself (Jujutsu), or protecting/saving them in battle. He was never exposed to problems beyond his own, and he’s unfamiliar with the lives and feelings of “normal people.” Seeing strong and talented youth was something that made Gojo happy, as stated by Gege. Gege also stated that Gojo saved Megumi because Megumi was strong. Gojo’s craving for human connection does exist and come out— and we see it in the students he teaches. The anger that Gojo felt when Yuuji first died was potent, and real, as well. Where Gojo’s best friend dedicated himself to stopping “root” of curses out of trauma, a feeling of helplessness (the system was broken, and so was Geto at that point), and anger— Gojo dedicated himself to saving the youth by teaching them to become strong enough to save themselves by creating change that he couldn’t do by himself (without killing all the non sorcerers). Jujutsu Kaisen is a story that takes place during a time of war and change. Gojo, while ultimately a King with the power of a Queen piece, was still a pawn on the chessboard, seen and used as a weapon on the board of Jujutsu Society, in a war of sorcerers vs curses.

NOTE: This is an incomplete, disorganized analysis, and by no means a proper essay. I will rewrite it when I read JJK front to back and sit with the story for a bit. NTS: power and strength, and what it takes (self experience) + allows for, is not focused on nearly enough in this analysis

NOTE 2: I WELCOME discussion! Have something more to say? Disagree with a point I’ve made? Comment below, but please try to do so with the same or higher level of thought and consideration I’ve put into my post. I am not here to argue, rather, I’m here to chat and hear what others think and why, and hopefully learn a thing or two, so long as you’re not preaching while blatantly mischaracterizing or being hostile/rude/cruel, as such remarks will only get you the idiot hat for the day.

Pt 2: Gojo & Geto analysis (coming sometime)

an angsty and humorous timeline in photos, below

Scary kid moment

Menace teen Gojo

Geto and Gojo arguing over their difference in moral convictions.

Gojo meeting up with his students, pretending everything is fine, after killing Geto (his one and only best friend)

Gojo and Yuuji moments / Yuuji being one of the few in the world who put a genuine smile on Gojo’s face

Rest In Peace, Gojo Satoru. You were magnificent.

YES! Gosh that dude was insufferable.

Y'all woke won, ChrisCreator0 quit the Ninjago community 💪