Stupid But Feels So Right

Stupid but feels so right

Villain is just having a nice time, leaning on a railing and staring up at the stars when he sees a silhouette blur past him and land on a rooftop about three buildings away from him. Instinct kicks in and he immediately hides behind the wall, because getting into some scuffle with another Villain would do him no good.

He hears no noises that sounds like a brawl, so he peeks out slowly from his spot behind the wall and catches sight of a blue costume that looks pale in the moonlight. He squints his eyes, trying to discern the figure further. The silhouette moves a little bit into the moonlight and Villain's eyes widen like baseballs.

Hero?! What the hell is he doing here, at this time of the night? Villain whisks his head back to hide away behind the wall, his brain running a mile per minute. Did he perhaps somehow figure out that I'm here? Am I being tracked? But wait, I'm not doing anything today so there's no reason to track me- Villain spends a good fifteen minutes racking his brain up but no matter what, he can't seem to arrive at an answer for the Hero's appearance. He peeks out again- and he’s still here, great. Furthermore, Hero had settled down nicely on that roof , pulling his blue cape further on himself.

Villain lets out a distressed sigh. He doesn't look like he's here to fight. Villain spends a few more minutes looking at Hero, and for some reason the longer he looks at Hero, the more he realises that Hero just looks incredibly lonely, sitting there all alone, curled up on himself, the pale moonlight making him look paler than usual. And Villain immediately makes a decision- he decides to go and give Hero some company, ignoring the warning bells going off in his head.

-

Hero jumps at the sound of footsteps behind him and looks just about ready to bolt after recognizing Villain's form behind him. Villain can literally see Hero's brain working, and so he stops, raising his hands up in a peaceful motion, hoping that the stubborn Hero understands that he’s not here to fight.

Hero's tense muscles calm down at the sight of Villain's hands raised up, and he sits back down, abandoning his instinct to flee. Villain plops down next to him, not making any other movement. Hero gives him a sideways glance, only to look back at the sky after.

"What are you doing here? Did you track me down?"

Villain tries to answer the question with a level voice, his internal self currently in chaos because that was exactly what he had thought around twenty minutes ago.

We're just so stupid aren't we?

"Don't flatter yourself Hero, I have other things to do."

"Like?"

Villain thinks for a moment and then answers, "like stargazing."

Hero whisks his head sideways so fast, Villain momentarily worries if his neck is okay.

"What?"

"You heard me, stargazing. And rooftops are the best spots for that."

Hero wants to laugh but something in Villain's voice tells him that he's not joking.

"Yeah, the stars look beautiful tonight."

It's silent again for a few minutes before Villain decides to speak up.

"So what is the Hero of justice doing here? Don't you guys have like a strict schedule to stick to? Wake up at 6 am and sleep by 9 pm-

He's cut off by Hero's chuckling. Villain just shrugs his shoulders, waiting for him to finish and give him an answer.

"We do have schedules, the waking up part at least. The sleeping part, not so much."

Villain turns to look at Hero and notices dark bags under his eyes. He turns back and stares at the sky.

" Are you on night duty or something?"

Hero chuckles again and Villain finds himself becoming slightly self conscious. What the hell's so funny?! , he screams internally.

"No, it's just that I can't sleep."

"Insomnia?"

"That too, but mostly nightmares."

Villain's heart tugs with a feeling of familiarity. Nightmares was definitely something that he could relate to. But he never imagined that Hero, the person who was the reason for peace existing in this town would get nightmares, and even more so, stay awake at night because of them. He had just assumed that the very fact that the Hero was fighting for all the good things would let him sleep easily at night. So he was wrong.

"And you're not able to sleep because you're scared of them?"

Hero turns to face Villain, giving him a look as if saying "duh."

Villain stammers, throat clammy and heart thundering in his chest. It had been a while since he had a normal conversation with anyone so he really wasn't sure if he was doing a good job. And for some weird reason, he cared.

But Hero understands and qualms his fears with just a few words, " It's fine, I'm not really offended, just confused." He says, and Villain stares at him, jaw dropping in amazement.

And Hero just smiles, and Villain is reminded of the honey words and sunny smiles that Hero showcases on his patrols every day. He suddenly feels sad? He wants Hero to smile only for him, if that even makes sense- and the words leave Villain's mouth before he can stop them,

"Don't smile like that. I'm not one of your precious civilians."

Hero stares back at him, horror and shock written plainly on his face.

(Oh, jealousy was such a dangerous thing. And if Villain was actually jealous, he's screwed, because Hero has thousands of people who love him. And whom does Villain have? None.)

Hero then chuckles once again, but this time it sounds lifeless and dry and Villain hates it.

"Sorry, I got lost in the moment. It has been a while since I smiled for real, I didn't even realize I was doing it."

Now it's Villain's turn to stare at Hero, all shocked and tongue tied.

It seems like Hero understood again, because he answered to the question that Villain wanted to scream out. " Well, it's kinda an embarrassing thing really," Hero mutters, " I smile at citizens because I have to, it's part of my job, not really because I want to."

Villain still seems to be in shock, so Hero just continues, " I- I mean, not all of my smiles are fake you know, I'm not heartless," Hero counters, " it's just that I have to smile even if I don't feel like smiling sometimes and I hate that, because who would want to see a Hero who's just about done with this society right?"

Hero turns to look at Villain and for the second time that night Villain wants to run, not because he's scared but because he's feeling so many emotions that he's never felt before and he doesn't know what to do with them- he feels like he’s going to be swallowed whole.

And more importantly, he can't hide away from Hero's gaze and it looks so heartbreaking. Villain would have cried, if he didn't have a reputation to maintain.

"So, what about the honey words?"

Hero looks at him like he's pleasantly surprised that that's the impression Villain has of him.

"Oh, those are just formalities again, you know, to gain public favour."

Just the thought makes Villain cringe. He definitely can't see himself telling people things that he doesn't mean.

"Then what about fear?" Villain begins, hesitant, " you do get scared right?"

"Of course I do!" Hero laughs, so tender and Villain is left to figure out whether it's real or fake.

Hero understands again, "it's real this time."

Villain is just baffled by this point, " are you psychic or something?!"

And Hero has the time of his life, alternating between chuckling and full blown laughing, clutching his stomach because he's been laughing too much and Villain just wants to disappear into the ground.

"Like I said, it's all a part of the profession. When you're on rescue missions, you have to judge people's mindsets so that you know what to say to them. Otherwise there'll be full blown panic everytime. "

Villain listens intently, finding every word that falls out of Hero's lips incredibly interesting and thought provoking. He had never imagined that being a Hero was such an intricate and delicate job.

"It's just that I've never seen you look scared before," Villain begins, "and all these things that you're telling me, it's all so new..."

Hero smiles and after listening to him, Villain can see the tiny difference. The 'sunny smiles' are usually stiff, where the Hero's lips just form a thin line. This one is more free and natural, making his cheeks pull just right and what the hell am I thinking-

"Well I've never really shared this with anyone." Hero says. " I guess it's more exact if I say that no one has really bothered to ask me about all this, so I never told anyone."

Villain feels his chest constrict because the more he listens to Hero, he feels like his own life is being told back to him, in another voice, and it's not just him talking in his own head, for once.

"You can share anything you want to, if you're okay with me."

A villain trying to offer a hero some solace, how ironic- Villain's mind sings to him.

But the grateful look that crosses Hero's face clears Villain's mind of any previous doubt, if only just for a moment.

"You know, heroes are never allowed to show fear on their faces. It's one of the things that I find hardest to do."

Villain tips his head sideways, as if pondering, "But why? Every human feels fear right? It's a pretty common emotion. Why hide that?"

Hero laughs but it sounds more like a wheeze, "Because according to my superiors, heroes are the symbol of peace. And a symbol of peace is not supposed to show raw despair on his face."

At that moment, Villain desperately wanted to whack Hero's superior hard on their head- whoever they were.

" The other day I was fighting downtown, there was this Villain who could control fire, and it was right in the middle of a pedestrian street."

Villain noticed that Hero's hands began to twitch slightly. It's not because it's cold right?

"I tried my best but I couldn't stop the Villain in time before the fires reached an elementary school right across the street, and there were children still inside the building...

Villain stares at Hero, his heart twisting and clenching in weird places as he sees him breaking down in front of him, his 'hero' mask crumbling.

He looked so much like a normal civilian now, crying for the lives that he couldn't save- except that no normal civilian would have to bear such a heavy burden.

"Even now, i- I can hear-

Hero doesn't speak after that, the sobs that wreck his frame don't let him speak. Villain inches closer to him- slowly, patiently, putting his hands on Hero's trembling ones and looks into his tear stained eyes, as if asking for permission-

"Can I hold you?"

Hero nods and it takes barely an instant for Villain's arms to engulf Hero's trembling figure, picking him up and cradling him close to his chest.

Hero chants, "I'm sorry, please forgive me, I'm so sorry," hands tightly clutching Villain's inky black shirt. Villain rocks back and forth gently, remembering that that's what his mother used to do for him when he was still a child.

Looking at Hero, Villain finally understands how vulnerable a human can be, it doesn't matter what they are, a hero or a villain. At the end of the day, they feel the same things. Loss. Pain. Guilt.

It's okay Hero, you've done enough.

Let me protect you from now on.

And throughout the whole conversation, Villain's mind was berating him, telling him that this was such a stupid decision.

And Villain knows that this may be stupid, that his intervention alone cannot protect the Hero from all the despair and fear that he has to face.

But it doesn't change the fact that it feels right.

And for once, Villain wants to do the right thing.

Lol I really can't write short stuff / I tried to make this more conversational /hope it makes sense/ villain definitely doesn't keep track of the hero's schedule nope / who am I kidding / he probably knows the best spot to watch hero's patrols from/ heroes have to handle so much mental baggage it's sad/ villain finally realizes that they're not so different at the core after all / this villain is not evil btw, doesn't kill people or anything /my writing tends to get so introspective xD