…I Have Certainly Made This Face Before And I Hate It.

This has to be the most beautiful thing one can say about a person

This. This right here.

My fam tries and has tried for a long time. Those that are affirming now were accepting immediately. Yet, they didn’t do *everything* right, so I didn’t believe it until it became hindsight.

as true as it is, there's more to the appeal of human domestication guide than "the fantasy for trans girls is to be loved unconditionally," it's that the affini can prove it. I'm certain there are people in my life who do love me unconditionally, but even then on some level it's hard to believe fully. it's impossible to prove a negative, "this person would love me no matter what" isn't something I could ever be comfortable testing anyway. "what if it isn't true?" a big part of being trans is having to justify your very existence even to well meaning people, and what happens when your justification falters?

and I think a big appeal to the affini that seems to be lost on a lot of people is how these stories tend to be from the perspective of "the person who is just about as against this as someone possibly could be." consider HDG proper, Elvira is against capture on a moral level for obvious reasons like "kidnapping is wrong" and "I deserve freedom," but she's also personally racist towards the concept of aliens. all of this forces the affini into a position where they can't just show "enough" kindness, to move from that position to one of love and trust, the affini are forced to show so much love and kindness that they prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that they really do care. they understand that behind every vicious word and lack of faith from their floret-to-be is a subtle hope that the world the affini promise is the real one. such a hope deserves nurturing at any cost; they deserve to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that it is really true. by assuming the worst case scenario, the affini prove the negative.

that's the real trans girl fantasy at play here; to be at your worst and for someone to love you anyway, to not have to feel like you're hiding some layer of your identity deep down that would ruin everything if it came out. your mistress saw the very core of your being and yet here you are, still wrapped in her loving embrace. you bared your teeth and gnashed at every helping hand along the way, and yet she still says she loves you. she still shows you love and affection beyond what you could have ever imagined. why?

and then at some point you just have to accept that it's true.

The idea of the magic card "Swords to plowshares" is essentially that target creature rejects the way of the sword and becomes a farmer instead, hence you lose them as a combatant but gain the health from their farming.

This is really fuckin funny in conjunction with a lot of potential targets for that card. Can you just imagine you're an average farmer in an MTG plane, have a normal-ass day, and all of a sudden you look to the east, and stretching up past the clouds you see Ulamog, the despoiler, one of the infamous eldrazi titans, a creature that corrupts all that is good by its mere presence. And all the enormous bastard is doing is using their massive fuckin tendrils to plow the land and plant potatos, and tend to their flocks of eldrazi spawn, and then it turns its eyeless head thats the size of several cities at you and tips its wide brimmed straw hat at you and continues going about its work.

The past few days have not been great, so I can only manage a basic vector drawing right now. I don't have many experiences of trans joy, but I wanted to share where I'm at with the process.

To anyone else struggling, know that you aren't alone. Hang in there, we'll be free to be ourselves one day.

Went to Hillcrest Friday and played on the swing. Got some awesome shots, but this one's prob'ly the best! (at HillCrest Pumpkin Patch)

wait I’m confused is this supposed to be horror?! it started sweet then seemed gay but also a touch of p3d0 and maybe !nc3$t vibes?!

The feminine urge to give a broken little girl all the attention, affection, and love that was denied her, making her feel genuinely safe and wanted for the first time in her life. Holding her close and stroking her hair as you reassure her that you'll never be apart again, finally fulfilling the broken promise of intimacy and unconditional love that family was meant to be. Seeing her realize that she finally has a real home in your heart as her sweet, innocent little sister, forever and always. Feeling her breath hitch and heart begin to race in confusion when you finally slide your hands underneath her clothes and caress her soft little pliable body. Whispering sickly sweet reassurances in her ear that it's all okay as you reach into her underwear, that this is just what sisters that truly love each other do, that it wouldn't be right to let anyone else play with her like this now, that she's yours and only yours.

#fuddruckers 😋

#newmexadventure #skycity #tree

#newmexadventure