Latest Posts by agb-dragon - Page 5

i love how Gandalf invested in Hobbits in year one and has been pushing them ever since. Thorin, i hear you need help with a breaking and entering. Can I recommend one of these little cunts? Silent as fuck, trust me. Elrond my dude i know you're skeptical but these four chucklefucks just transported a weapon of mass destruction all the way here. Theoden, you've gotta get yourself a hobbit man, I've got a spare one here. Denathor you big prick, take a hobbit - literally this is the bottom of the range but listen to him sing. Beautiful little bastard.

EXCUSE ME BARMAID! I’M AFRAID YOU ORDERED THE WRONG OFFSPRING! I ORDERED AN EXTRA LARGE BOY WITH BEEFY ARMS! EXTRA GUTS AND GLORY ON THE SIDE! THIS HERE! THIS IS A TALKING FISHBONE!

Why did you leave this in the tags? Also I love that Gandalf just fucks with everyone and a lot of the time people can tell if he’s serious or not

Imagine the fellowship showing each other pictures and paintings of themselves as children

Everyone cooes over Gimli with the tiniest little beard and mini axe, the Hobbits all sleeping in a little pile of curls and tails, Aragorn in formal elven clothing but his hair is still as messy cause they couldn’t style it even if they tried, Boromir holding a baby Faramir cause he refused to part with him after he was born

And then Legolas shows the ugliest fucking thing any of them had ever seen, looking like a fleshy newborn bird with enormous eyes and ears, and he’s proudly boasting over how he’s seen as one of them most beautiful elven infants in millennium, and the rest of them are afraid to say anything because What The Fuck

Aragorn is looking a little ruff

frank: let me get this straight. thalia and jason’s domain is the sky, percy’s domain is water, and hazel and nico’s domain is basically the underground?

annabeth: yes

frank: but… can’t percy also create storms? that have clouds and lightning and thunder?

annabeth: yes

frank: and… and can’t percy also create earthquakes and make volcanoes erupt?

annabeth: yes

frank: so… in a way, doesn’t that mean everywhere is percy’s domain?

annabeth: yes.

annabeth: but don’t tell him. he hasn’t had that realization yet

david tennant did the bafta host with his nonbinary pride pin and fuzzy sweater and a cutedog , songged his wife on the red carpet and then subjected everyone to his funny weird dynamic with micheal sheen , did not dis anyone , did not make an aweful comment about anything, wore stellar outfits being the most gorgeuse person out of everyone, give everyone proper respect and attention, finished the job and went home to do an eye mask and rest his feet.

i truly admire him. truly one kind of a man.

David Tennant, Michael Sheen and the dogsitting problem

BAFTA 2024

10000000% canon

This is how it happened, right?

Thinking about how Annabeth canonically descended from viking royalty so in my mind her ancestors are Hiccup and Astrid

Alex "it's all in the hips" Claremont-Diaz:

YOU hates terfs

the fact that nicholas galitzine is henry fox but he's also the slutty boyfriend of henry fox's gay ancestor????? no notes

Revenge

Happy Thanksgiving! 🦃

When you put it like that 😂😂

Some of y’all are not appreciating Bilbo Baggins enough. I am here to remedy that. This guy has:

• somehow managed to establish himself as a respectable, staid hobbit by the time he was fifty, despite being both a grandson of Bullroarer Took and the Shire champion of pretty much every aiming-game known to hobbitkind

• had an in-depth debate on pleasantries with a random guy passing by in the street, who turned out to be GANDALF

• collapsed in front of his own fire shaking and muttering “struck by lightning” over and over again in response to hearing about dragons and danger

• mind you, this was after he screamed loud enough to startle a roomful of Dwarves

• signed up for a dangerous quest completely outside of his league out of spite

• when told to scout out a mysterious light, saw some trolls, and instead of reporting back with the information, decided to PICK THE TROLLS POCKET

• arrived in Rivendell for the first time and said it “smelled like elves”

• upon meeting a strange creature that visibly wanted to eat him, he decided to play a riddle game with him- and guessed pretty much every one, and made up his own riddles, afraid and alone, that not only were good and full of linguistic puns, but actually stumped the other guy- AND THEN CHEATED AND WON WITH A QUESTION

• showed mercy to said strange creature who wanted to kill him, and was now standing between him and freedom

• eavesdropped on the dwarves arguing over whether to try to save him, then popped up casually smack in the middle of them just as they were debating

• somehow managed to sleep like a log at the really really high eyrie full of wild predators

• found himself in a bad situation, said eff it, and turned around and antagonized and fought off an insane amount of man eating spiders, like enough of them that fifty was a small portion, by singing at them with incredibly complex and punny insulting songs composed on the spot, while simultaneously slaying them in multitudes despite having zero combat training. Seriously, we don’t discuss enough how epic the spider scene is.

• broke a company of dwarves out of the very secure prison of the Elvenking by inventing white water rafting with barrels

• charmed his way out of being eaten by a dragon

• stole the frickin Arkenstone from the guys who employed him, one of whom was a king

• took part in an epic battle, only to be knocked out in the first ten minutes and miss the entire thing

• was named elf-friend by the guy who’s prisoners he sprung

• wrote his own autobiography, complete with all the narrative recognition of his own heroics

• spent 60 years writing said autobiography

• taught his lower class neighbor’s kid how to read

• taught his nephew Elvish- not only Sindarin, but Quenya too

• spent decades telling his cousins his own story as fairy tales, complete with character impressions accurate enough that one of them was able to fool a servant of the Enemy with a second hand impression

• used the One Ring of Power to hide from his neighbors

• planned an elaborate feast with multiple social faux pas to mess with his neighbors, complete with a purposefully bewildering speech and culminating in him vanishing into thin air in front of everyone

• left his cousins and neighbors very unsubtle passive aggressive gifts in his will

• settled into Rivendell, randomly befriended the heir to the throne of like half of Middle Earth, and apparently spent his time writing very personal poems about his hosts and reciting them to crowds of elves

• after being invited to a Council of basically every major kingdom in the continent, spent a quarter of the time reciting vague poems about his friends, a quarter of the time telling anyone who would listen about his heroic past, and half the time interrupting to ask when lunch would be

• volunteered to bring the ring to Mordor

• became one of only four or five mortals in history to live in Valinor

Seriously, Bilbo Baggins may well be the most chaotic, insane person in the entire legendarium, and that includes the likes of people like Finrod “bit a werewolf to death to save the life of guy who he just met and gave up his kingdom for” Felagund.

The most Percy Jackson thing Percy has ever done.

I love this so much 😂😂

In my head this crossover makes so much sense, you can’t even imagine

AHAHAHAHAHAHA

do you think their periods ever synced

I NEED THIS

@prudencegoodewitch on instagram

Literally would watch this on repeat.

Like daily. Hourly. EVERY MINUTE OF EVERY DAY.

HOW THE FUCK DID I NOT KNOW ALL THIS SHIT

These are all true.

So fuckn chaotic I love it

So Meg and I were chatting on Discord the other day and came to a realization:

Hey! now! Come hoy now! Whither do you wander?

Up, down, near or far, here, there or yonder?

Sharp-ears, Wise-nose, Swish-tail and Bumpkin,

White-socks my little lad, and old Fatty Lumpkin!

This is the rhyme that Tom sings when he’s looking for the ponies. The first five of them are Merry’s ponies: presumably one for each of the hobbits to ride, and one more for the baggage. (The last is Tom’s own pony.) And Meg noticed a surprising parallel between the ponies’ names and the hobbits:

Sharp-ears = Merry

Throughout the story, Merry is shown to be the one with the best head for details. He’s “sharp”, if you will; observant and intelligent.

EDIT: Merry is also the one who spies on Bilbo and Frodo to learn about the Ring! He’s got very “sharp” ears, and eyes too.

Wise-nose = Frodo

This is the easiest one. Frodo’s name means “wise” or “wisdom”, so this pony fits him well.

Swish-tail = Pippin

Tell me whose vibe fits Swish-tail better than Pippin. That’s right; you can’t. The name conjures a picture of careless jollity, which couldn’t be more Pippin.

Bumpkin = Sam

A “bumpkin” is defined as “an unsophisticated or socially awkward person from the countryside”. As much as I would be the last person in the world to call Sam a backwards yokel, he is nonetheless the most “country” of the four hobbits, and his name literally means “half-wise”, or “lacking wisdom”.

That leaves White-socks to be the baggage pony, which likely doesn’t have much significance (aside from the fact that he’s an outlier because hobbits don’t wear socks).

We’re not sure there’s any particular point to this. We’re also not sure whether or not Tolkien did it on purpose. But either way, it’s a fun thing to think about!

As Tolkien often observed; “names often generate a story” and always nearly contributed or suggested something of the nature or personality of the character, thing or place that has been named. Yet the most intriguing name he has created in my opinion, is the main protagonist of “The Hobbit” Bilbo Baggins who is the hero of the classic tale, and despite being seen as such, his name holds interesting and contradicting connotations. For Baggins suggests harmless, humble and well- contented characters (though with criminal undertones!) Yet the name Bilbo suggests an individual who is sharp, intelligent and even dangerous….

The family name of Bilbo is  “Baggins” which derives from a double source-the English Somerset surname Bagg, which means “moneybag” or “wealthy.” The term “Baggins" itself means “afternoon tea or snack between meals” and at first is appropriate in describing our well off  hobbit. Initially he is presented as a mildly comic, home-loving, upper middle class “gentle hobbit” who seems harmless and composed enough, if given to some annoyance. He is mostly concerned with his mothers dishes, doilies, domestic comforts and food. However, once recruited by Thorin and his Company, we see the respectable gentle hobbit reveal his true colours- he is an excellent and highly skilled burglar.

Tolkien has maintained that his tales are often inspired by names and words from the real world, and indeed, in the jargon of the nineteenth-and early twentieth century criminal underworld there were a cluster of names around the term “bag” and forms of theft. “To bag” means to capture, to acquire, or to steal. “A baggage man” is an outlaw who carries off the loot and a “bagman” is the man who collects and distributes gold on the behalf of others by dishonest means or purposes.

His surname not only characterises himself, but also plots out the narrative for the story. For in the hobbit we discover Baggins is hired by Dwarves to bag the Arkenstone. He then becomes the baggage man who carries off the loot. When he realises Thorin has fallen under the gold sickness, he becomes the bagman and is dishonest to the newly crowned king, distributing the Arkenstone to Thrandruil and Bard. After the Battle Of The Five Armies he hands out the treasure to those who are rightfully in need of it, and thus ends him being the bagman.

Another aspect of Bilbo Baggins character can be revealed by the analysis of his first name. The word “Bilbo” entered the English language in the late sixteenth century as a name for a short and deadly piercing sword of the kind once made in the Spanish port city of Bilbao where the name derives from. This is an excellent description of Bilbo’s elvish sword (often called a letter opener) named “Sting.” Found in the troll hoard, Bilbo’s “bilbo” can pierce through any animal hide that would break any other sword. In The Hobbit however, it is the hero’s sharp wit rather than his sword that gives Bilbo his sharpness. Bilbo’s well-honed wits allow him to survive the journey and to trick monsters, a dragon  and to get himself out of bad situations. 

When we put these two names together as Bilbo Baggins, we fully understand the two aspects of his character, showing someone who is dangerously witty, but ultimately good and humble to a fault. If we want to dig deeper into how these names also affected the events of the Lord Of The Rings, one has to look no further than Frodo Baggins.

 Along with the Baggins family name, further “baggage” is passed on to Bilbo’s nephew and heir, Frodo Baggins who in the context of the one ring is a link to another underworld occupation; the bagger or the bag thief. This bagger or bag thief has nothing to do with baggage, but is derived from the French word bauge, meaning “ring.” A bagger then, is a thief who specialises in stealing rings by seizing a victim’s hand and stripping off its rings. It had common usage in Britain’s criminal underworld between 1890 to 1940. The Baggins name holds the idea and plot for both The Hobbit and Lord Of The Rings. For Bilbo’s skill as a burglar, one might say that in the perspective of outsiders, the Baggins baggers of Bag End, Bilbo and Frodo, are naturally born ring thieves.

October can’t come soon enough

WHEN I TELL YOU I CACKLED

BUZZFEED UNSOLVED - but it’s just memes

[part 2.0] ; [part 3.0]

I love this so much

Two of my favorite universes combined!