I Don’t Think He’d Testify Against Him In The First Place

Thinking about how Annabeth canonically descended from viking royalty so in my mind her ancestors are Hiccup and Astrid

Wife guy from day one

Heir of Fire:

Rowan to Aelin: I’m a centuries old warrior! I’ve been in hundreds of battles and fought in many wars. You will listen to what I tell you! I’m here to train you and nothing else!

Also Rowan: here let me hold your shopping bags full of chocolates for you. Is it too heavy? Do you need me to carry your purse? Do you need me to carry your coat? Do you need me to carry you-

obligatory gnomeo and juliet crossover

dude perry the platypus is such a funny character to me because like. i’ll be thinking abt him and be like oh he’s just like an adult man he has a government job and he loves his family and he has a weird homoerotic relationship with his nemesis and he’s nonverbal. just an overall normal guy character. i love him im going to read 7000 fics about him now. but then i take a step back and im like. he’s a platypus. i’m going crazy over a real cartoon platypus. what am i doing. but then i take another step back and im like oh shiiiiitt. he’s a platypus. what kind of experiments were they doing on him to make him evolve the way he has? what kind of training did he go through? man this guy has some trauma he’s a lil fucked up actually! and then i take ANOTHER step back and im like. this is literally about a phineas and ferb character

in honor of phineas and ferb coming back can you imagine being a disney investor in the early 2000s watching some guys' storyboard pitch and you're like "oh this seems funny and cute but also relatively normal for a children's television show" and then this happens without warning

"Draw up the papers," Xaden says, gripping my chair.

Bile rises in my throat. What the fuck is he doing?

Cat's head snaps into our direction, Mira and Garrick both gawk, and Aaric continues eating.

I want the damned bond back now.

"Ah, there we go!" Faris claps twice. "What an excellent decision. Shall we go with three or four years?"

"Lifetime. Anything less is unacceptable." Xaden slides his hand to the back of my neck. "And her full name for the papers is Violet Sorrengail. Two Rs."

I'm torn between throwing a dagger at his chest and kissing the shit out of him.

-Onyx Storm

Watching Return of the King right now instead of the election

broke: watching the election coverage

woke: watching lord of the rings

Best summary

Maeve is an eons old demon queen and she got humbled by a 20 year old k*nky king with daddy issues and a 19 year old arsonist that just lost 99% of her power.

Another day, another slay for the all powerful book nerds 💅🏽

NO ONE in that dome was breathing

every year after you turn 17 you get further away from being the age of the dancing queen and that’s my least favorite thing about growing up