Dean.

your unreliable narrator fucking bit me

Sooo, lately, I have seen a few Hoof Trim Videos on TikTok, especially from Nate the hoof guy. And those got me thinking. We do have a few characters in Hazbin Hotel/Helluva Boss who have hooves. Mostly the imps but also Charlie and Alastor are seen with hooves.

I know Alastor has shoes on, and it could just be drawn on his shoes, but there is also a canon merch mouse pat that shows Alastor with hooves.

So I was wondering, do they need trims for their hooves? Are there professional hoof trimers in hell? I imagine it would be just like in reality that their hooves need regular trims just like nails, but it's hard to do yourself. Also just like in the videos I've watched, there could be issues like defects or something stuck in them, that has to be professionally treated.

Most videos I've seen are about cow hooves and I think most hooves in the show are goat-like hooves or for Alastor deer hooves, so I don't know if the procedures would be the same, but it's still fun to imagine the character going to a trimmer.

Since I'm a sucker for Alastor whump and I think he is someone who wouldn't admit he needs help, even if he is in obvious discomfort, I got a specific scenario stuck in my head. He wears shoes most of the time but his hooves still get defects from time to time. And sometimes he does walk around without his shoes, especially if no one is around to see him, or maybe just when around Rosie, because it actually is good to feel his feet on the bare ground in between.

Eventually, he actually gets a bad defect and something even gets stuck in there, but he ignores it at first. At some point, he starts to feel pressure in his hoof and it's harder to walk without some discomfort. Discomfort turns into pain and he starts to lame while walking. He is careful to not let anyone notice and even goes so far as to teleport everywhere even if it is just a few steps, just so he doesn't have to walk in front of others. But the rest of the hotel does figure out what's going on. When questioning him about it he just shrugs it off, but they, especially Charlie are not happy with that at all. During some activity, she somehow gets him to walk around and notices his lameness. She privately confronts him about it and assures him there is nothing to be ashamed of, after all, she has hooves too, and experiences issues like that herself as well. She offers to call her personal hoof trimer, Nate, but he refuses at first, saying he can take care of it himself. After some arguing, she convinces him to agree, if she promises to keep this a secret.

Imagine Alastors annoyance if the hoof trimmer tells him to lie on his stomach so the heel is on top because it's easier for him to work on the hoof. At first, he regrets agreeing to it, but as soon as he feels the pressure in his foot leaving he is instantly relieved. But then the trimmer puts a block on the other claw and puts a big wrap on, and Alastor is annoyed again because he realizes even if Charlie doesn't tell anyone this will be hard to hide. However the trimmer explains, that it won't be able to heal otherwise and he will come back to check on it in a few weeks. Alastor is not happy about that news, but goes along with it anyway, since he is at least not showing lameness anymore.

Now I'm also wondering what other kinds of ailments demons with animal forms could get, that are specific to the animal they are representing?

I nearly convince myself that I’m normal and then I remember my comfort character

the fucking Radio Demon. a serial killer cannibal, who knows blood and rune magic and tortures souls for fun, broadcasting their screams through all of hell

title: dancing in the rain

author: sciencebecameouraddiction

fandom: hazbin hotel

rating: PG

genre: slight, baby angst/ major fluff

pairing: Alastor x Reader

summary: all hell had was acid rain, and all you wanted was the rainstorms you knew on earth.

Rain hardly ever was an occurrence in Hell. And when it was, it was acid rain. You sighed, looking out the window and watched the green acid pouring down on everything, missing desperately the rain storms that you had on earth. Being the youngest at the hotel, you remembered more clearly the burn of the sun on your skin, the cool breeze on a fall day and even the mix of the humidity in the air that felt like it would choke you but the reprieve as a rainstorm came and fell from the heavens.

“What has you so melancholy, my dear?” A voice asked behind you, shockingly quiet all things considered, toning down the announcer quality in his voice.

“Hey Alastor, just thinking is all.” You replied and smiled at him, not wanting to explain that the acid rain made you sad.

“Now, whatever it is that you’re thinking about is casting a dark shadow over your usually lovely face. So, tell me, what’s wrong? What kind of hotelier might I be if I didn’t ensure that all the patrons here were happy?” He said, the announcer tone coming back into his voice, which made you wince. Knowing that meant he knew you were lying so he was going to put on a show if you were. You sigh.

“It’s the rain.” You explain.

“The what now?” He asks, all effects gone from his voice except shock and a bit of confusion.

“The rain. I miss the rain. Not this rain. The rain on earth. The smell of the earth after a good rain storm, the way that especially in the summer when it was so hot, the rain was a cool reprieve. It always felt like…” You trailed off.

“Forgiveness?” Alastor finished, looking outside the hotel now too. You blink and look up at him.

“Yes. Are you sure you don’t read minds?” You chuckle, resting your head on your hand. You suddenly feel his microphone tap your head. You look up at him as holds his arm out to you.

“Come with me.” He says, not giving you time to feel confused. As when you take his arm you shadow travel with him to the other side of the hotel appearing at the door of his room.

“This is your room.” You say, confused now.

“Ever observant. A skill many would kill for I’m sure.” He smiles at you, but the sarcasm is evident as he holds open the door for you and you step into his room.

“Just a certified Sherlock Holmes.” You roll your eyes, taking his sarcasm.

“I never had the chance to read those books.” He mused for a moment, as he shut his door and walked around you heading to the forest area. You stayed near the door.

“I have the collection if you’d like to borrow it and read them.” You explain. “They are annotated though, so you’ll have to put up with my notes.” You explain.

“That would be lovely, dear.” Alastor says stepping on the grass and you watch as he takes off his coat and hangs it on a coat rack that appeared suddenly. He turns to you. “Aren’t you coming?”

“I-I guess?” You say, more like a question. You jog over to him and start walking next to him. “Are you killing me in your forest because I complained about acid rain?”

“Oh, no. Not you at least.” Alastor chuckles. “I want to show you something.” You look up at him skeptically.

“Hey Alastor, can you take smaller steps?” You ask having to jog to keep up with him. He looks down and hums seeing how you were almost running next to him.

“Good to know that if I had to catch you I could do so without breaking a sweat.” He says, as he walks slower and taking smaller steps, allowing you to actually walk, instead of run.

“Har har.” You say deadpanned and roll your eyes. You walk into a clearing that has a cabin in the middle. The whole forest felt like it was shrouded in the twilight of fall when lightening bugs gently floated around and the sky was a perpetual shade of blue, purple and pink. You finally looked up and around, seeing the trees, the bugs, the animals, the sky. Tears formed in your eyes. “Alastor, this is beautiful. It looks just like-“ You stop, your throat constricting as emotion overtakes you. You feel Alastor’s clawed hand rest on your shoulder.

“Just like earth?” He finishes, speaking softer than you had ever heard. You nod and look at him, watching him take everything in and then looking down at you.

“Come, let me show you something else.” He says, walking away and heading to the cabin. You walk in and suddenly feel at home. The decor is a little dated and you feel transported to the 1920’s, but it’s all homey. There’s a kitchen, a living room, a lounge and a hall way leading to what you assumed to be a bed room. You walk through the living room, taking it in but trying not to pry at the photos Alastor had in frames along the mantel of the fire place, you see at the back door there is almost like a deck, with a more modern porch swing.

“The porch swing is a nice addition.” You mention, smiling a bit at the modern accessory in what felt like a time capsule.

Alastor chuckles as he sets his microphone down and rolls up the sleeves of his shirt. He joins you next to the window. “You haven’t seen the best part.” He murmurs, unusually quiet and reserved. You don’t mention the change in demeanor though, wanting to savor the quiet and this almost more authentic view of the Radio Demon.

“What’s the best-“ You stop when you hear it. The start of a pitter patter of rain on the roof, that builds and when you look outside, it’s raining. “Is that?” You blink a few times.

“It is. Safe for you to touch as well. You won’t get hurt.” He smiles a genuine looking smile as he goes over to the record player and starts playing music. Your hand touches the door, feeling the coolness of the water slide down the glass pane. You can’t stop yourself as Alastor fiddles with the record player, you open the door, quickly closing it so no rain would get in the cabin and rush outside off the deck. Twirling in the grass as the rain poured down soaking you.

“What are you doing?” Alastor yelled from the door, watching you like you had gone mad.

“Dancing in the rain!” You yelled back, a smile feeling permanent on your face.

“You’ll catch a cold, get back inside!” He says, looking up at the sky and then back at you.

“No! Come join me! It’s amazing! This is exactly what I remember.” You say holding you hand out to Alastor. His smile looks more like a grimace as he takes you in looking like a wet dog. He looks back inside and waves his hand at something and you see towels appear and the record player is louder so you can hear it outside. He takes off his shoes and socks and places them neatly at the door but far enough away that when you come in, water or mud won’t get on them.

He walks out getting drenched almost immediately as you run up to him and grab his hand and pull him on the grass. You take both his hands and start trying to spin around in a circle with him, as you see his eyebrow raise. You stop and look at him, a little disappointed when he doesn’t spin with you and you start to let go of his hand, until his hand tightens and pulls you to him.

“We can dance in the rain, but we will be actually be dancing.” He says as he proceeds to guide you through a dance that was popular when Alastor was alive, morphing into an odd mash up of a swing dance and you dancing like you were at a rave. You both settled down and were now just slow dancing as the song had turned a bit slower. You watched as Alastor’s eyes were closed as his face angled up to the sky. You made a spit second decision, and rested your head on his chest, really it was like the start of his abdomen but it was as tall as you could reach. You didn’t see his head snap down to you and watch as you seemingly relaxed in his arms, drunk off the warmth he gave and the cool from the rain still coming down. His hand moved up, and grabbed your chin, encouraging you to look at him. As you did, you saw his eyes widen and his cheeks turn bright red.

“What’s wrong?” You ask quietly.

“I’ve never… done anything like this before.” He says quietly, and it breaks the fogginess you felt before.

“You don’t have to be scared. It’s just me.” You say, as if it’s the most simple thing in the world.

“Just you? Darling, just you is enough to have me go to war.” Alastor murmurs and then his eyes widen again, shocked. You realize that he is just blurting things out and there is no filter. You smile.

“Well, I’m honored that the Radio Demon would want to be in my corner.” You say as your hand reaches up to touch his cheek, stopping just a few centimeters away, allowing him to close the gap if he wanted to. He leans into your touch shaking his head.

“Not the Radio Demon, dear. Just Alastor.” He says, looking at you with a vulnerability you had never seen before. Your eyes widen and you smile.

“Even better.”

imagine being so bad at moderating your own website you decide to just kill half the user base and not fix any of the actual problems

Mhhh....

Ig: eryen_art

"they say he's handsome"

it's me

i'm they

in my defence i'm stupid as hell your honor

Just had to join in on drawing this fucking thing

if you aren't best friends with your lover and a little bit in love with all your friends than what's the fucking point